Stay pawsi–yeah I can’t actually type that

Oh, hang on. Let me get my phone so I can stimulate you visually.

I drove to Chapel Hill-ish to get my cat yesterday. Technically it was Carrboro, a town I’ve given literally given zero thought to until they became radiation central for me. My point is, I’ve now been there twice and I just love it. Apparently it’s sort of a college town, as in college students live there. But it was bustling with your white liberals and there were little odd shops and you know I enjoy bustling liberals in theory unless I’m at the co-op grocery store where all those slow-moving hippies can bite me. I guess bustling liberals become crawling liberals once they see a hot bar with kale.

Anyway I think I’d like it there, although that whole Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area is getting absurdly popular and expensive and is it a matter of time before the wealthy come ruin Greensboro as well? Go someplace else. Don’t bother me. Or better yet, stop moving places. Just stay rich where you are. Stop ruining it for normal people.

It rained a little on the way there, but only in that way where you constantly debate whether to turn on the wipers for real or just do the as-needed routine. Then I got there and pulled in and called for cat curbside service. It was like A&W only with cats and not coney dogs. “Can I get her on a little tray? Do you have root beer?”

As soon as they brought her to me I immediately got her out of the package, thereby ruining her resale value, and took a photo of us for posterity. And Facebook likes. ‘Tis what I live for.

“I missed her so much!” I screeched to the vet tech who’d brought her out, with “Iris Gardens” typewritten on her carrier. Not that the tech had a carrier. Or Iris Gardens written on her.

“I imagine you did,” said the tech, who had walked out and not been brought to me in a carrier. Was I clear on that? “She’s pretty much perfect.”

She’s not wrong. Other than lacking one or two workable eyeballs, Iris is the perfect cat. Friendly but not a barnacle, she says to the kitten in her face right now.

Anyway, as usual Lily acknowledged the return of Iris—with whom she’s lived for 9 years not counting being in jail together at the shelter—not at all. It’s not that they dislike each other, they are just invisible to each other. Like, once a year one will groom the other. Then it’s back to, “I only gray cat heer. wat you meen?”

Eds was delighted to see our Iris, as Eds is delighted to see any cat. I walked in on this last night as I came back to bed not at all with cookies. Hey, I’m single. I can do what I want.

Anyway, she seems great. She already looks more filled out, Iris does. And she’s not screeching for food constantly as she had been.

Thank you all so much for donating to her radiation treatment. Her life is gonna be so much better now.

As for Forest Lawn, kitten to the stars, he immediately began following Iris about as she wandered sightlessly from room to room. I was convinced she’d rear back and hiss but she kept not doing so. Finally, they came face to face and

there it was. The hiss heard ’round the house.

So that went about how I thought it would, and we are all together, and it’s very cat up in here. I guess this is how you devolve into cat lady. First, you get a pandemic. No, first you get a divorce. Then you age. Then you have a relationship that disappointed you. THEN you get a pandemic. Then? Boom. Cat lady.

Ah, well. There are worse things.

Are there, though?

I have to go, as even though I opened my computer early, I am STILL getting work boops while I write you. WHO ARE YOU EARLY PEOPLE?

I’ll write you tomorrow, as I am wont to do, when maybe I will talk about cats. Really, I was wanting to talk about my ADD and new theories I have on it. I think I’ve had it all along and didn’t know and it’s gotten worse and anyway I will talk about it tomorrow. Unless I forget. Like how I forgot I had my trainer last night. Just clean forgot. It’s because I have ADD. And also because I drove to Carrboro and back and got off my schedge. Which makes me ADD-y.

And with that I bid you adieu.

Adieu.

39 thoughts on “Stay pawsi–yeah I can’t actually type that

  1. Forest in that green chair is so dang cute. Glad Iris is back and feeling better. Bummer you forgot your trainer. I forgot my daughter’ s volleyball on Sunday. Ugh. So irritating. Since when can my mind only handle so much?

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  2. Also, your header photo reminds me of the redhead in Mad Men. I’ll bet most men never knew what color her hair was.

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  3. I love the picture of Edsel and Iris, with him touching her tail with his paw. He really missed her.
    I’m so glad she’s home, happy and healthy.

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  4. I tried to “like” a whole bunch of comments but WordPress wouldn’t let me so, everybody, consider your comment liked. Moving day plus 6, not quite normal around here.

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  5. Why can I understand everything Edsel says, but not everything the cats say?

    I had to give up eating in bed when I bought a white shag carpet for my bedroom. Dumb move. Don’t recommend.

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  6. I can look back and see my ADD in my life. Probably school was the worst. I’d get my work done and then social butterfly the day away. Man they got all pissed with my disruptive self.

    I thought Iris already looked better!

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  7. Welcome home, Iris!
    If you venture to Carrboro again, drive a little farther south to Pittsboro. Based on this post you would like it. My son lived in Carrboro, then Pittsboro, and then the mill town Bynum located there. They have their locally famous artist Clyde Jones who also rides his lawnmower around the mill every day. I love reading your neighborhood posts because it reminds me of where my son used to live.

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  8. So….Forest’s eyes match that chair. Is there a clearer sign from the Universe that he was meant to be a Gardens?

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  9. I am so happy that Iris is home and healthy! I must admit, I laughed at the picture of her hissing…it really looks like she’s yelling “Maa! There’s a kitten in here!”

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  10. Miss Iris, I’m so glad you are healthy and home. But your mom…I mean you’re gone a week or two and when you come home, there’s another cat! Honestly, people….

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  11. So lovely seeing Iris settle in like she never left! She looks well! She has no pawcity of fans, it’d be impawssible not to love her.

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  12. iphones let you set a don’t disturb, mine is set to 8pm to 8am. I also leave Facebook notifications badge only so they never make a sound.

    Finally, all my yoga classes are in my calendar, with 30min and 5min alerts. I don’t even have ADD but definitely need to be reminded. Technology can be our friend if we start telling them what to remind us of or mute!

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      1. You could put on FB “I’ve just booked a session with my trainer at X time and date”. Wait for 50 notifications leading up to it – trainer session Joooooon! Combine all your problems into just one juicy problem.

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  13. “The hiss heard ’round the house.” She has a right to hiss, she was there first, well except Edsel.
    I LOVED this post! You wouldn’t believe the housing costs in Atlanta, all areas are just exploding, dumps are being bought and flipped at crazy prices.
    Forest looks stunning. And his little collar. He’s so beautiful.
    WHO sends those e-mails in the middle of the night? I’ve started turning my phone off at night so it doesn’t wake me with all the ping, ping, pings.

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    1. I’ve had to do that too. I would get so furious with people thinking it was delightful to message me on Facebook or with a text at, say, midnight and jarring me out of sleep.

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      1. There’s another reason why I don’t bring my phone into my bedroom at night. I leave it on the dining room table. That way, if a call comes in the middle of the night (and it damn well better be an emergency), I will hear it but I won’t be disturbed by email, FB, IG and text notifications all night. I really don’t need to get an “Invitation to bid” at 2:00am, thankyouverymuch.

        Also, Eyeriss looks beautiful and healthy and extra fluffy.

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  14. I think I’m hungry all the time, but I’m not actually starving for food, and I can’t imagine what that was like for poor Iris. She’s probably glad that misery is over and is back home where she belongs. These happy endings are few and far between these days, so Iris being a rad cat and now a healthier cat for the win!
    (Did anyone else think of those sketchy massage parlors when I wrote ‘happy ending?’ No? Just me?)
    I shouldn’t admit this on the interwebs, but I really want pretty much all your furniture – the green chair, the dark pink chair, the tufted coffee table… plus your porch chairs. You have the best taste in furniture and animals!

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  15. Welcome home Iris! I’m so glad your little family is back together. I hope she’s not too annoyed with Forest before he treks off to his permanent home!

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  16. Yes! Denver is becoming like that…house prices going through the roof. Mostly because rich Californians and Texans are arriving. Also? I’m not a super big fan of gentrification. I see the good it can do…but it also can take away local charm and ruin housing prices for normal folk.

    Lol at Rad Cats. Omg. How did I not know this before. Rad Cats. I love it.

    I’m a little surprised Lily didn’t smell him around her. Also…I kinda forgot she was blindy-blind and mistook her hiss for a yawn. I suppose she didn’t know which direction to aim the hiss.

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    1. I know. I was the first in this hood to break the–wait for it–$100,000 mark. In two years, two more houses here have gone for more than I paid. It’s my fault. On the other hand, this hood was going to hell in a handbasket.

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  17. Iris is GORGEOUS and looks so healthy and happy now.
    My cats are assholes and I can never let either of them out of their carrier in the car. Phyllis would find someplace to hide, someplace where no human could get to her. This is a fact as she does that in the house. Albert would inspect the entire car, change the radio station, adjust the mirrors and demand to drive.
    Forest Lawn is stunning on that chair. And he knows it.
    I like how you classify “rich” people and “normal” people. I need to adopt that philosophy.

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  18. I am so happy that Iris is home. She looks great with you in that picture in the car. The shot of Forest on the green chair is absolutely gorgeous! Cat lady, there are worse ways of being.

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  19. Welcome home, Iris. The gang’s all here. BTW, I have been wanting to point out that the model in the header picture was an actress on television in the 50s. I think her name was Patricia something. Not sure on the name but definitely know the face.

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