Now don’t be sad, cause two out of four ain’t bad

I have many things I’m going to try to cover today but also you know how I am. Let’s list them all so I can refer back here once I commence to rambling. The topics include: Forest, my tarot cards, my gravel and redoing an old metal chair.

OK, good.

Forest can’t STAND it that the rest of us go into the backyard and he doesn’t. I found him staring at us from the laundry room window the other night and noted it’s where he goes each time we all go out.

This morning I fed him and changed his litter box and was carrying on with slopping the hogs and whatever other animal care I have in the morning, when I heard his little squeak.

squeak!

squeak!

Whenever a kitten mews I get a dreadful vision of them hanging from a light fixture or something, so I ran to the sound of the squeaks, and there he was, in his laundry-room window.

“What IS it, kitten?” I asked him, using my kitten voice. But then I looked out the window and saw. Can you see?

He was singing to his friend Milhous, of the mosquito-repellant Milhouses. As you can see, the acorns are starting to fall all over yonder off my oak tree, which is terrible for walking around on but wonderful for the end of summer in the South, which is the worst thing since winter in Michigan.

Anyway, Forest dearly wanted to be with Mil. Is my point.

While I was up getting pictures of the kitten, I remembered I took this one yesterday. It’s a family portrait. Careful readers will note everyone is in this shot. I mean, not me. But I’m the mother always behind the camera.

Tomorrow Forest’s new mom comes to get him, and I like how I keep saying that his new mom gets him Friday and yet on social media I keep getting, “When is his new owner coming?” FRIDAY. She’s coming FRIDAY.

And is it awful to give him up? Yes. Yes, it is. He fit right in here. Mil loves having someone to play with, as opposed to these elderly cats. Do 9 and 10 count as elderly? Middle-aged cats. I don’t think you really get elderly till 13. Like, if one of my gray cats were to drop dead and I said, “She was 10” or “She was 9,” everyone would be all, “That’s so young.” But if I said, “She was 13” people would go, “Ohhhh. Yeah. Aww.”

Right?

Also, in that family portrait above, you’ll notice that pink square on the coffee ottoman that Mil has shredded to bits. Or is it a rectangle? A pink rectangle? I never got to geometry.

Whatever shape it is, and also look right there, it’s the shape of a square (name that movie), those are my

NEW

TAROT

CARDS.

My 1987 boyfriend gave me the set I read all your tarot cards with, and also I’ve said this a million times too but if you have NOT gotten your reading, PLEASE ALERT ME HERE. Not anywhere else. Gets too overwhelming, which is in fact how I lost track of who got readings and who did not. “I forgot to say in my donation but I do want a reading,” someone will say in a comment on some picture I put up on Instagram.

I do know I have one obit to write, too. We have to speak on the phone, obit person!

Anyway, I got my tarot cards in 1987, and have used them ever since, which if you never got to geometry means I’ve used them for 33 years. After using them a million and ten times reading your futures, they felt kind of, I don’t know. Gummed up. So I decided, after 33 years, to get new ones.

Also, the box I keep them in? The first weekend I ever invited Marvin to Seattle to visit, 10 years after he’d been my college boyfriend, he arrived with a long wooden box for holding my tarot cards. He wanted a reading and the whole reading, an hour after he’d arrived in town, was telling me, Yeah, you’re going to marry this dude, so I lied so he wouldn’t think I was a freak.

Also I bought blueberry bagels that weekend, not knowing blueberry bagels are the White Zinfandel of bagels if you are a bagel expert, which is an unoffensive way of saying Jewish. I kept offering him a bagel and he kept being all, “No, thanks” and I couldn’t figure out why till finally I married in and his dad was going on a bagel run and I asked for blueberry and his dad said, “I’m not getting blueberry bagels.”

I have moved on to everything bagels. I have no idea where they fall in the Jewish-people-judging-your-bagel category.

See what I mean about the ramble?

Anyway so I looked a long time. Like, Ned long, for just the right tarot cards. I ended up getting them from Greece, as you do, via Etsy. Behold, my new these-are-so-June tarot cards:

RIGHT?? Oh my god, I love them so bad. And yes, the gold on them is shiny. And they have gold — what do you call that? Borders. They are bordered in gold.

I spent last night just looking at every one, which you’re supposed to do anyway to sort of break them in.

So I’ve decided that since I am no longer using the old-boyfriend 1987 tarot, I also don’t want to use the old-husband 1996 box to hold them. I want it all to be stuff I chose. I still haven’t decided on the container for my cards yet but further reports as developments warrant. You want to see the box Marvin got me in 1996 when he came to Seattle for a visit and the cards predicted we’d marry? I also took him to the Space Needle, where they have carnival games, or they did in 1996. He bought one dart to throw at a balloon and when he threw it I thought, “If he actually hits it I will end up marrying him.”

Pop! He broke the balloon. Won me a stuffed animal. And 14 years of marriage.

OK, hang on.

Here it is. The Marvin box. I first thought I’d use a pretty scarf for storage but I think I want something more sturdy. The point is, I want my cards and my card container to have nothing to do with any man I may have been affiliated with at some point.

Anyway now I have to go. I have 5 intense things to copy edit this week that will take awhile but if I work really hard I can do it during work hours. But then last night they sent me something else, and then I remembered I have 5 hours of something ELSE to do as well and now I have the nausea and sweatiness thing again.

And I swear to god as I wrote that I just got a migraine aura. Just POP! there went an aura. That was sort of amazing. And will make copy editing fun!

Stressfully,
June

43 thoughts on “Now don’t be sad, cause two out of four ain’t bad

  1. I would still love a reading when you have a chance, sorry late to the party was off camping in ridiculously hot CA. So happy Iris is doing so well and home with her tribe.

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  2. June, you remind me of a person I know who never pushed back when given too much work to fit into a HEALTHY workweek. See, your bosses/coworkers will not think less of you if, when someone sends you new urgent work when your plate is already full, you say, “I only have time this week to complete 3 tasks, Since I already have X, Y and Z scheduled, I can either delay one of them to accommodate A, or A will have to wait until next week. Which option do you prefer?”

    I’ve done that my whole career, and it never prevented me from being respected, valued, and promoted. I have a friend/colleague who like you didn’t know how to set boundaries for work requests, to the detriment of her health. People got used to her fast turnaround, never realizing the sacrifices she was making to keep saying yes to everything. And because unlike me she hasn’t “trained” anyone to accept not all deadlines are feasible, she ended up being resented when, one day, she finally couldn’t complete work on schedule and had to go on sick leave to recover from the consequences of serious burnout. Meanwhile, I continued to enjoy my reputation of a reliable worker who produces high-quality outputs, despite the fact that my output volume was never close to my friend’s…

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  3. i had a cat that died this year, i thought she was 13. it turned out i was mistaken about the year i got her, she is around 10. so… at first i thought it was old age, after that i feel terrible because … maybe i should have been a better pawrent. anyway, that is just to tell you, i know what you mean. about cat’s age. cat ages? other things: as always, i love this post.

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  4. I’m so sorry you feel like another migraine is approaching. I think you are over worked. Aren’t you glad you are not working in an open office with all the chatting and distractions. Little Forest is going to a good home where he’ll be loved and totally in charge. In other words, he will have a competent staff.

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  5. Thanks for 3) rescuing and n) sharing Forest with us. Daughter was quite taken with his “fluffy yet sleek” look.

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  6. Lovely post Coot.
    I must have to admit you seem to be awful busy in our time of confinement.
    I have a deadline this week and I started getting a cluster of migraines. They seem to hit about the same time every day. I feel as if I am one of those delicate little flowers who gets the vapors when the temperature rises. “Oh, Miss Gladys can’t go watch the lawn tennis because she wilts in the heat.”
    Hope your head gets better.
    I am sad that little graveyard catten is leaving but the fact that he is going to a good home soothes the blow. I have a little black and white catten who has been sleeping on my front porch for about a week. We had a big storm blow in and I made Kahuna go scoop up the catten and put him on the back porch in a box with a towel in it and some water and food. I am allergic but can’t stand to see little critters suffer. Kahuna took him to my cousins farm this morning where he will have a new best friend who is a horse.

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  7. Did I miss something? Who is Forest’s new mom? Love the picture. Forest is not in there, right? I felt a little like it was one of those, how many pets can you spot photos. That box is beautiful. I never had a boyfriend get me anything that nice. Somewhere I do have a photo of the ugliest sweater ever that Coach gave me when we were dating. I took a photo wearing it so I could someday show our children. Good man, just not a gift buying type.

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  8. Know what has turned my beautiful morning into a cranky morning? Don’t care? Well, you’ll understand when I tell you that I have a super busy morning coming up which includes a COVID swab (just because I’ve moved, long story, not because, oh never mind) and I was settled propped up in bed with my coffee and a muffin top (the edible kind, not the living kind) and all I wanted to do was read my June in sweet caffeinated peace and I got interrupted 50 billionty times and it was a fantastic post with pictures that made my heart happy and so much delicious detail and now I have to close my laptop and get dressed and go get swabbed and I just wanted to read June in peace. You all get it, right? I’ll be back and this time I’ll lock the darned door. See ya. PS. Super post, June.

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    1. I totally get it. My morning routine is I get up, get the husband and the dog going and we walk. When we return from the walk, I make the lemon water and the coffee and the millennial avocado toast (even though we are OK Boomers) then when all this has been done I settle in to read Jube. Do you know what happens? My Kahuna begins a conversation about riots or politics or some such nonimportant nonsense, then the dog decides he needs to poop even though he just pooped eleventy-billion times on our aforementioned walk. All I want to do is sit and read Jude in peace and drink my coffee without interruptions, but nooooo…

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    2. I get that too. June interruptus. Bugs. Just when it is getting good. A story about nothing has to be conveyed by the spousal unit. Bother.

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  9. If you sprinkle baby powder on the cards and shuffle them up they will no longer feel gummy. (Old Poker Player trick)

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  10. The old box is very well made, it won’t be easy to replace. You will need something substantial and a bit flashy to match your cards.
    I applaud your strength and practicality in letting Forest Lawn move on. He was not your gift from the Universe, you were his to save him, love him, and help him move on to a permanent loving home. June, the patron saint of wayward cats.

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  11. Holy cow, this entry made the hair on my chin stand straight up when you said ‘the cards said I was going to marry him so I had to lie so he didn’t think I was a freak”. I am stampeding over to donate right now just based on that.
    Also? Blueberry bagels story is great!

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    1. I like Maple French Toast Bagels and Cheddar or Swiss depending on my mood. I can eat Everything but they are not my favorite. I knew about rye bread and pumpernickel because I am not a wasp.

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  12. So happy to see the gang’s back together!
    I love the new tarot cards and would love to have a reading with those. Still having items from past husbands and boyfriends is sort of like the past weighing down on you, isn’t it? Speaking from experience.

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  13. I love your new tarot cards, they are so pretty and sparkly. I am also impressed that you learned how to read them. You may have said, but how did you learn? From another tarot card reader or from a book? I have been interested but not disciplined enough to study them hard enough to learn them.
    Great family picture, you have a very relaxed family. I enjoyed the picture of Forest squeezing through the raised window to catsplain that he needed to go out to hang with Milhouse.

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    1. See that book in the background of the Marvin box? It’s called Tarot Made Easy. I bought it in spring of 1990 (with ANOTHER boyfriend) in a bookstore in my college town. I’ve used it ever since, even rebuying that book eventually because the pages were falling out. HOWEVER, I’ve started a new practice with my new cards, where I am pulling a card a day, sort of like my horoscope, and looking up what each card means. It’s just another way to learn them.

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  14. Gravel! Chair! You left us hanging… like the wonderful storyteller that you are…

    I hope F’s new mom loves him and gives him ear scritches and also sends you pictures so we can stalk him from afar, like Iris.

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    1. “The shape of a square” from Close Encounters of the Third Kind !
      Every time someone mentions that movie (which is becoming less and less 😕) , or its on, my first thought is that song.

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