Room Two-Twenty-Hi, June

Well. I got up, made coffee, and now I sound like the Beatles. Dragged a comb across my head. Which isn’t true because if I did that I’d be doing my Bernie from Room 222 impresh. Won’t you chortle at my relatable reference?

I fed everyone and then watched all and sundry eat each other’s food. I have given up at this point. They alllll want the forbidden food. The bad boys of food. Although I don’t know how $99 special stomach food can even count as a “bad boy.” Milhous, the world’s finickiest cat since birth, only likes that stuff. It’s what he lives for.

God knows I’ve tried. I’ve bought him every kind of food, from highbrow to lowbrow. From organic moose ground with a catnip pestle to rat whiskers off the factory floor. And nothing tickled his fancy like Iris’s you-have-pancreatitis prescription kibble. So.

Welcome to my blog, where I spend inordinate amounts of time telling you the minutia of my pets. Come in! Have a cat-furred seat! I’ll just drag a comb across my head.

I didn’t plan to become this person. This cat person who is writing you about cats with a cat on her wrist.

It just evolved.

Forest looks so grown up in that photo, but sometimes I think the camera doesn’t capture all his fluff so he looks older. In truth he’s something of a pipsqueak. He’s already six months old and only weighs 5 pounds However, I dewormed his ass, literally, and I weighed him this week and he’s gained half a pound already, so. I’ve also seen him hit the vending machine a LOT.

What would be in a cat vending machine? Mice. Moths. Yarn. Empty boxes.

Anyway, talking endlessly about cats is not why I’ve gathered you here. I need help with my bucket list.

First of all, I abhor the phrase bucket list, so there’s that. Second of all when they updated my work computer they made it so emails FLOAT across my screen, which I hate. It’s not start time yet and still, whilst I write you,

“Hi, JUNE!!”

“Hey, June!”

“Work, June, work!”

No matter how long I work at night, I can’t get ahead. I keep thinking, if I just work really late this one night I’ll be caught up. And then in the morning there is a cacophony of Hi, June emails.

I used to work with someone who would send me work on our chat feature, which is fine, but she’d always just start off, “Hi, June.” The emails that float across my screen only show me the first few words, that inevitably start with a greeting, but I promise you when I open them AT 8:30 AND NOT ONE MOMENT SOONER, they will have actual detail in them. The job at hand. Where I can access it. The job code. The due date.

But THIS person would just message me. “Hi, June.”

I cannot tell you how that irked me.

WHAT? WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAT? Just give me the work. You know I have to do it so just send it to me. I do not wish to be all, “Hi, Plinda. What’s up? Yeah, it was good. Not long enough! Hahahaha! I need a vacation from my vacation. Hahahaha!”

Maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I’m too nice. No. Maybe I’m not good at that bullshitty small talk you’re supposed to do in an office. I’m more tell-you-about-my-yeast-infection-in-the-breakroom.

I’m authentic. Isn’t that the buzzword now? Except I actually am.

Anyway, my list of things to do before I expire. My bucket-of-chicken list.

I was thinking I don’t have one, and since there’s a plague on I thought I should get one. My bucket list (ugh) used to be to own real perfume, but Marvin’s very sweet aunt sent me real perfume in 2008, so that’s done.

When you aren’t athletic it makes life harder to categorize. My hobbies aren’t volleyball and jousting. I don’t enjoy soccer matches and wrestling. One is sort of at a loss when one is indifferent to athleticism. So doing something sports-related isn’t on there.

Also I’m not big on travel. Makes me anxious.

However, one thing on my list would be to see the Northern Lights. I saw them once, believe it or not, driving from my college town to my hometown, one late-fall night, if I recall. I took the country road way so it was dark and I pulled over. I was alone and there weren’t smartphones, so it was just me and my memory recording it. I didn’t know you could even see the Northern Lights in Michigan, but I did.

Anyway I’d like to see them again.

And maybe kiss a leopard. But I’m not sure that’s actually possible. Might be the end of m’lips.

So, you know me. What’s something I should add? What’s something I might like? What about a fro like Bernie from Room 222?

I have to go. It’s three minutes to “Hi, June” acknowledgment.

Cattily,
June

59 Comments

  1. Seeing the Northern Lights is a big one for me too. I have mainly travel related things. My fantasy ones are huge and unattainable like a months long guided tour of England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. I’d probably only feel safe there outside of the US because they are our allies and they have dealt with terrorism longer.
    I would like to see more of New England in the Fall, my favorite season. I wanted to do the New England and Eastern Canada cruise but I can only see cruise ships in the worst germ light now.
    I will see the true South because I have two siblings living there so I will get to cross that off.
    I would like to see the Northern California coast. A friend has done it several times and adores it. I am living with someone who drives a bus so we could rent or buy an RV and go places in the future if we can afford it. You can play with river otters in a pool in California. That is high on my list. You can do it in Louisiana but they are Asian small clawed otters. The California coast has lots of sea otters. I am obsessed with otters. I saw a river otter at the Cape May, NJ zoo and I was flipping out with delight. You can buy a more private otter encounter there. My brother and his wife did it but on freezing cold Valentine’s day. I want that in a warmer month. The money benefits the zoo.

    I have notebooks too. The back is financial stuff. I don’t online bank so I call and review my checking account once or twice a week. The front is a hodgepodge of everything like yours. My fella has mini notebooks with notes in them and that delights me. Old school like me.

    I know you want comments, don’t know if you hate ones on older posts. I was very busy this week, my sister was in town from SC and the baby sister, she and I got a big jump on emptying and packing up my old house’s living room. My nephew is very anxious to buy it. My SC sister sold her NJ house and we will be seeing a lot less of her now. I will HAVE to travel there. I’d like to but it makes me anxious too!

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  2. I have no list. At all. The only place I ever want to go is the beach. Spent my childhood as an army brat moving hither and yon so travel does not appeal. Also, too? I have a friend who lives in Alaska and she posts the most gorgeous photos of the northern lights, the midnight sun, moose in the neighborhood, and all kinds of fun stuff.

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  3. Oh, man – we have a weekly team meeting first thing Monday morning where we all say what we are doing each week. It takes an hour and now we’ve added rotating through the team to think of a fun icebreaker question to ask each other, such as what superpower would you want to have (bad interview questions?) or what was the first car you owned (I’m trying to break your password questions?) – and all I want is the one hour back to do the real work that’s pressing on me every Monday morning. WHY.

    Belle

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes yes yes. If you’ve given me real WORK to do, let me do it. If you want to schedule social time, trim some of that work off everyday.

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  4. OMG I’ve been so frickfracking busy that I only just saw that you posted and I can’t read it and I AM FRETTING. I can’t read on my drive home. UGH UGH. Why wasn’t I born a trust fund child so I wouldn’t have had to work and then I could read June on time? No, I had to have wonderful, loving parents who did, in fact, leave me a much-desired handicapped parking permit, but no trust fund. (And btw? That permit had an end date so I only got VIP parking for a limited time.)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve never had a bucket list. Long before there was such a thing, I wanted to see the Grand Canyon after my grade school report on Arizona. Decades later, Mr. Sadie took me there on one of our vacations and it was fabulous. We also saw Bryce and Zion National Parks which I also loved. Other than that, everything else has been a bonus.

    As for ideas for your bucket list, I’m no help.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve hit that age where driving and seeing the scenery is a real thing. Virginia had some beautiful fall colors. Apparently there are some north of me that i need to check out. Forest. Haven’t been to a forest since before i hit the teens. Oh how i would love the peace and quiet, in a cabin, fire burning, thing. Rome. I want to own a mustang again. I can’t decide if i want to own a home or have two weeks vacation by the beach every year. Are there any other cars you’d like to have for a few years? You were on a roll with some cute/cool cars. Take cooking or DANCING lessons!! I think it would be wonderful to know how to tango.

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  7. I saw Bernie from Room 222 while on a school trip to Disneyland. In 1973, I think.
    My bucket list was completed at a young age!

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  8. My bucket list is mostly travel & experience related, though having traveled from San Francisco thru Seattle to Montana this past weekend, I’m off any travel that involves airports until we get our government issued biohazard suits like in ET or the entire world is vaccinated. Being in isolated lockdown for 6 months where the most people I see are the blue haired crew at 6am grocery shopping, then rolling thru Seattle airport with buckets of semi masked hoardes gave me a full blown anxiety attack and made me want to swallow the hand sanitizer rather than just marinate in it.
    I used to traveled a lot for work and nerded out on the goal of putting my feet in each of the Great Lakes – check. That led to how many oceans/seas/big-ass bodies of water can I step into – Pacific, Atlantic, Gulf of Mexico, Arctic, North and Caribbean seas checked off. I’d love to see the Northern Lights, cruise thru Alaska and go on an African safari……clearly need to add marry a sugar daddy to this list to start with.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I abhor the word bucket list because I associate it with crotchety old men who are supposedly actually endearing and lovable inside but the only crotchety old men I have known were just crotchety old S.O.B.s outside and inside and I give them as wide a berth as possible.

    How about meeting a man, not just an aged teenage boy, who is comfortable with himself and who he is, and shares your values and would love to share a duplex with you, him on one side, you on the other, or like Frida and Diego, houses with an adjoining walkway?

    And yes, you can see the Northern Lights in Michigan. Occasionally from the front yard of my childhood home.

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  10. I always said I wanted to see the Grand Canyon. However, I have no desire to see or be in Las Vegas. It’s just not my cup of tea. Beautiful, but just not me. So what, I’m gonna go all the way there to see the canyon, then go home? Sigh. I think I need smaller buckets.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gotcha with the Las Vegas thing. Perhaps a circle tour of the Grand Canyon, Bryce National Park, Zion National Park, and Arches National Park. Each is spectacular and you will come home feeling clean and expansive.

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  11. All my bucket list type ideas are travel related. I’d love to see the gilded age homes along the east coast. And the leaves changing color. I’d like to visit lighthouses and libraries and the great lakes. I’d like to go to Prince Edward Island to see where Lucy Maud Montgomery lived and Martha’s Vineyard because that’s where my grandfather’s people settled in the 1700’s. I’ve always been a dorky traveller.

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  12. I just came over to say that I laughed so hard at ‘I didn’t plan to become this person. This cat person who is writing you about cats with a cat on her wrist. ‘ I am at work.

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  13. You could shave your head! I did back in April or so, and it’s the most freeing thing. Now I have kind of a kewpie doll mini-mohawk going on, which I love! And it’s so easy to take care of!

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  14. From a fellow Mac user, here’s how to turn off the floating emails:
    Go to Outlook–>Prefences->Notications & Sounds. At the top of the window, you’ll see Message arrival.”For new messages,” uncheck “Display an alert on my desktop.” Enjoy your time off without floating Hi Junes.

    CommandoBarbie

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      1. June, If you alerted IT at say 2 in the morning I am sure they would get right to it. Fixing your flotating emails, I mean.
        Everyone else does it before or after work hours, has their needs met, I mean.
        This was one of the best posts, enjoyed the heck out of every line.

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  15. My bucket list:
    See the Northern Lights
    Spend two weeks in Florence, Italy, to see all the architecture and art I didn’t see when I was there for only two days
    Make a box or desk tray that has dovetail joints (too much time spent watching Roy Underhill on The Woodwright’s Shop)

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  16. Maybe Milhous just doesn’t like his bowl. We have old Kellogg’s cereal bowls we use to eat popcorn, and my daughter doesn’t like the Toucan Sam bowl because his eye color is scraped off and he has a weird Orphan Annie stare (Arf!)

    The only thing I remember about Room 222 is a commercial endlessly repeated during Hollywood Squares or Password or something. Students groan about reading assignment (Silas Marner?) and Karen Valentine says, “Oh, come ON now, it’s a CLAA-sic!” I guess this is why I never got a Ph.D–too much clutter in the attic. Yes. That is the reason.

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  17. I don’t know why I have an aversion to “bucket lists”. I always wanted to visit NYC around the holidays to see the storefronts, and all the hustle and bustle, so last year we did, and it SUCKED. Tooooooo many people, trying to see the tree at Rockefeller Center was a nightmare. We were in a throng of people and were able to peek through a side street to see it, I said ok, close enough, let’s get out of this mess. So yeah, I think I’d be disappointed if I said something was on my bucket list, I did it, and it sucked.

    Forest looks so cute and cuddly, I may have to adopt him.

    My trick for work emails is don’t open them except during work hours, took me a long time to do it but glad I did, I can now watch my housewives in peace.

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    1. Agree on the work emails, if something is urgent, someone will call. I find a lot of men don’t look at emails off hours so when I started this job I took a cue from the one guy who my boss seems to like. We have always worked remote and he starts at 9 and ends at 5. He even logs out of IM during lunch.

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  18. I have kind of a reverse bucket list of things I hope I never have to do before I die. Hope I never have to skydive. Hope I never have to go in a submarine. Hope I never have to watch a competitive eating contest in person. It’s a pretty fluid list. A friend and I kind of have a bucket list of fancy hotels we’d like to go to but neither of us travels much especially now, so that’s not really a going concern.

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      1. It’s fun because just like other people say “That’s going on my bucket list” you can say “I’m adding that to the list of things I never want to do before I die.” People love that. Really.

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  19. I used to think I was the only person who remembered Room 222.
    I equate bucket lists not so much with dramatic stuff, like standing in the town square of the town where my great-grandfather was born in Wales, though that would be cool… but more like reading one whole weekend and having food delivered and not talking to anyone. THAT would be bucket, for me.

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  20. Cat vending machine made me laugh!

    I would too, also, like to see the Northern Lights, but I want to see them in that glass-topped igloo hotel in Iceland. So that’s two bucket items together.

    Also Alaska cruise and the train trip with the glass-topped train that goes up across Canada to Alaska.

    I’m all about the panorama views, apparently.

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  21. How about a self published ebook (Kindle or whatever it is) of your Pet Memoir? That would be fun and you could include dates/short comments.

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  22. We took the kids on a whale watching boat ride while in Vancouver. My daughter Mini said it was life changing. It was pretty amazing. Highly recommend. I think doing a full on Alaskan cruise would be awesome. I guess you said you are not big on traveling but you are an animal lover.

    I also vote for you publishing a book.

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  23. I had a boss who called me into her office to tell me I needed to be nicer in my emails and not just jump right to the point of what I wanted/needed. I told her how I hate the emails with the bs niceties. Get right to the point. But that was when my job reported to Marketing, which never made sense to begin with so luckily she wasn’t my boss for very long. But I guess being nice is important to the Marketing folks.

    If you have outlook you can stop the email from coming up on your screen. File/Options/Mail/ halfway down:
    Uncheck display desktop alert. When we get updates mine often starts displaying again and I have to go back and do this. Lu annoy.

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  24. I always wanted a Ford Mustang convertible. So two years ago I leased one. So that’s off my list. I’m an introvert, so my list mostly is about being left alone to read. My 84 year old mother talks about a bucket list all the time. I’m a bad daughter, because it annoys the crap out of me.

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  25. I have a friend named Jean. I get anxious when I run into her out and about and know I need to greet her in some way. I struggle with saying “Hi Jean” hygiene. So it’s always Hellloooo Jean. Hey Jean. F.O. Jean

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  26. I LOVE cats!!

    This was great. Purrhaps you could have a halfway house for cemetery kittens, but I guess that wasn’t on your list and you have already done that.

    Great post!

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  27. I don’t have an official list either, but one thing I would love to see is the Northern lights. I do want to be remembered as a kind person when I die. I think as long as we know what we aspire to be remembered by we have accomplished our bucket list.
    I would like to see you publish a book or at least get your blog printed in book form! You may have done this already?

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Hmm. Any books you’ve meant to read and just never did? I’m not good at this. I’m over here excited because my work notebook is almost full and I will get to start a new one soon, so probably I would not be good at coming up with bucket list stuff.

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    1. P.S. I buy an INORDINATE number of notebooks, thinking each one will be for a special purpose, and what ends up happening is my house is full of half-filled notebooks that have room measurements on one page, then a grocery list on the next, then me complaining about Ned after that page. When I die, someone promise to come in and burn them all without reading them.

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      1. So THAT’s what your supposed to do with notebooks? I’m kind of mystified by notebook users. What DO you write in them? They can’t all be secret diaries, right? I’m more of a slip-of-paper gal. I guess notebooks are slips of paper all in one place rather than scattered around my desk. Hunh!

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        1. Seriously hang on. Lemme get the closest notebook. It’s a very pretty green one that looks like a composition book but it;s not because it cost 20 dollars.

          OK. Page one, complaining about Ned. Page two, ibid. Page three, ibid. Page FOUR, ibid. I was in a lather. Page five, notes for an interview I did. This is a fairly aged notebook. Page six, a list of tasks I’d like to get done around the house, which should be a challenge now that Alf is fired. Page seven, notes on tarot cards. Page eight, a list of your addresses so I can DO your tarot readings. Page nine, a list of tasks I had to do at work one day, half crossed out. I wonder if I just never finished the others. #corporateladder Page 10, ibid.

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          1. Ahhh, see I would have all those on separate pieces of paper. I get great satisfaction from throwing away a piece of paper. Plus, CATEGORIES, man! I cannot have personal thoughts co-mingled with To Do lists.

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            1. Me too! I have a notepad for “to-dos” and nothing is more gratifying than crossing each thing off then ripping that paper off and throwing it away!

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