June's stupid life

In which the whole Gardens house is barren once again

by June

I don’t want you to get too excited, but it’s trash day over here at House of June. I have a very bad video of Milhous riding the trash cans, and this is why I get annoyed when I live my life and tell you about it and I get, “No picture, June?” or the one that makes my blood boil and spill all over the stove. “Pics or it didn’t happen.”

IT’S NOT ALWAYS PRACTICAL TO CAPTURE THINGS ON FILM. As I predicted, holding a phone while pulling a full trash can was not easy.

Also, anything I told you happened, happened.

I have a big issue with that. With being accused of being dishonest. Once on Reddit someone said they didn’t believe me that I walked into PetSmart that day back in 2012, walked back out and lo and behold, there in a shoebox was a puppy in my car.

Of all the rotten things people have said about me, that’s the one that annoyed me the most. Why would I make that up? HOW would I have made it up? Did I buy a puppy and a shoe box and a polo shirt and a toy shark to style the whole lie? That’s…going far.

Anyway, in other news that happened, both Forest Lawn and Edsel went to the vet yesterday.

This is not a photo of my dog or my cat at the vet. It’s me because I am full of self and rootage. ^^Here I am, trying to think of a lie like there was a troubador in the parking lot at the vet! No! Someone put a troubador in my car! That’s it!

Clearly I had kind of a wait at the vet. Lots of yer art shots.

I dropped everyone off in the early morning, see, and then they neutered poor Forest, see, and they checked out Edsel’s suspicious mole. See. I kept asking the mole if it had a permit to be in my dog’s face. I asked it for ID.

Anyway, the mole is fine, although the vet says it should come off because likely it bothers him. $500 if I do it when we clean his teefs. And Forest did well and was ready to go at 1:00. So these photos are from when I said, “I’m here” to when they finally brought out my animal companions. I hate that phrase.

Here’s everyone emerging, with Edsel doing his signature leash-in-the-mouth move that he likes. Forest was antsy all afternoon when we got home. He drove me insane, truthfully. I just wanted him to rest, but he wouldn’t. Also he’s jonesing for outside and the vet said no. So now every time I let the dog out it’s like what’s-his-name in Catch Me If You Can. I’m having to sneak that dog out like I’m Miep and he’s the yogurt in Diary of Anne Frank.

They’d given him a pain injection yesterday (Forest, not what’s-his-name from Catch Me if You Can) and also a cone if I saw him licking. I DID see him lick, once, but that cone was a full-on disaster so we did not keep it on. He PANICKED with it on, so we abolished the cone.

Today I gave him a pain pill and here he is right now:

  • ware saq?

I have typed this whole thing around him; he’s very clingy today. He’s such a beautiful cat, though. Isn’t he?

So basically right now I’m dealing with drunk roommate.

I’d better go. I have to work around Alley of the Dolls, here.

Pulling fish bones out of the trash,
June

72 thoughts on “In which the whole Gardens house is barren once again”

  1. My standard response to incredible stories is “No, really?????!!!!” and now you have enlightened me that someone could see that as a Doubting Thomas response, when I meant it as more of a “You have the most interesting things happen to you”. I never doubt your stories, and you really do have the most interesting things happen to you. I will change m response forthwith.
    I’m glad Edsel is fine and that FL came thru his surgery fine. Lovely post, pretty June.

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  2. I’m a day late, and I know you will mention your roots, but I think your hair is especially attractive right now. Your new cut with the curl style is really great. And I like the color.

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  5. Milhous is a very smart kitty. He seems to consider trash can riding as a sport. All of your kitties and Edz are so interesting- it’s so obvious that they love you. June the Pet Whisper.

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  6. I’ve never doubted your veracity and don’t let the skeptics get you down. You most likely deal with them much better than I would.

    Thank you for the lovely photos and Milhous video. He’s quite a character. Reminds me of when we were small children and one family friend would let us stand on his shoes and he would walk around with us holding onto his hands. We enjoyed it as much as Milhous does on the E-ticket trash-can ride.

    I love the clouds in your art shot.

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  7. Edsel would like you to know he is capable of walking himself, thank you very much! My dog, Pickle, does the same thing.

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  9. Wanted to say yesterday that we inherited my husband’s grandparents yellow ice table, chairs and china cabinet. I have a picture of husband sitting at the table at about 4. I framed it and it sits in the china cabinet. The biggest problem is the table is shaky. My non-handy husband “fixed” it with packing tape. Sort of fixed it. I would love to find a place to properly restore it. Anybody know of such a place? Also, our dog has warts. Lots of warts.
    Anybody got a cure?

    MissPam soliciting advice.

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    1. MissPam, are you in NC? I know a furniture repair guy based out of High Point. Not sure if he could fix your type of table, but if not, I bet he could suggest someone/some place who can.

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  10. Animal companions is nowhere near as vomit-inducing as “furbabies.” Yeah, I went there.

    I get such a kick out of Milhouse/Milhaus/Brickhouse riding on his trash can like a beauty queen in a parade. The only thing missing is him waving at his devoted fans. “Elbow, elbow, wrist wrist wrist.”

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  11. How dare anyone question the Book of June! Forest is so beautiful and his eyes are so amazing. I’m happy Ed’s mole didn’t amount to anything serious. Milhous is beautiful too, and so is Lily and Iris. The whole Gardens family is beautiful!

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  13. As I frequently wonder with people doctors as well as animal doctors, if you didn’t get compensated for removing that whatever, how important would it be to have it done?

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  15. This post was fantastic as always. Every picture, the video, that beautiful selfie of you, cat eyes, dear Eds. I think Milhous is more than “just” a cat. Some cats are just cats, even though that is pretty terrific, and some are benevolent companions sent to you or who sought you out. You have special connections with the animal spirit world. You have a beautiful, and truthful, spirit.

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  16. When I was a kid, we had a cat who loved to ride on top of a portable dishwasher we had. As soon as he heard anyone in the utility room start to roll the dishwasher into the kitchen, Charles came running. He would ride the dishwasher just like Milhouse on his trash can. What a crazy crazy cat but we loved him!! Thanks for sharing Milhouse’s video. It brought back wonderful memories from my childhood!!

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  17. It’s not your first year in the South by a long shot. June loathes advice. Give it at your own peril and duck the liver slap. How is that, June of the beautiful hair?

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  18. I believe everything you say. Who could make that up? I do not know the dog in shoebox story. Did you keep it? I assume so.

    Forest looks SO big and full grown. When did thst happen?

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      1. Violet Sparkles. Didn’t she have a potty mouth or am I thinking of another one of your rescue dogs?

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          1. My brother-in-law (fmr) has a Labradoodle that swears like a teamster. Especially when it comes to Pugs. Coco thinks they’re fucking assholes. Her words, not mine.

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  19. Many smiles for today’s post. Your hair is pretty. Millhouse is such a good. And Forest is just so gorgeous.

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  20. I BELIEVE YOU!!! Little Forest, bless his heart (meant in a kind way not the usual snarky way). Milhous is such a great cat. The color of your hair is beautiful. Thank you for all the photos you always post.

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  23. I want to preface with saying I don’t think any cats are ugly. The least attractive to me are the hairless, but that’s my opinion. That said, you have the most beautiful cats. Mill and Forest are both so gorgeous, and then the gray ladies are also so beautiful.

    I’m glad the mole checked out. While I had no guess before the vet check, f-ing 2020 would not surprise me with a “this little thing means the cancer is already everywhere.”

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  25. I had the brilliant idea that my Tiger might enjoy a walk outside. My vision was him with a harness strolling alongside me through our neighborhood. I clicked one buckle on the harness and he panicked and screamed under the bed. When I finally got him out the harness was twisted and could have strangled him. Oh, the looks he gave me. For sale: one cat harness and leash, cheap. Here’s hoping Forrest leaves his bits alone and doesn’t require the collar.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I will see that offer and raise you two (2) puppy car harnesses, that the puppy gets out of by taking them off like pullover sweaters. As a bonus, I will throw in two (2) expensive leather leashes that she chewed through in half a nanosecond.

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  26. Happy to hear that your babies are both good. I figured that Eds’s mole was just an old man lump and nothing to worry about. They do seem to be very clingy when they come home from the vet which, of course, makes you feel even more like a bad mother. But luckily, they’re back to normal in a few days. Forest is a glorious boy!

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  27. Happy to hear that your babies are both good. I figured that Eds’s mole was just an old man lump and nothing to worry about. They do seem to be very clingy when they come home from the vet which, of course, makes you feel even more like a bad mother. But luckily, they’re back to normal in a few days. Forest is a glorious boy!

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  28. I’m afraid to ask what’s in the bag. And I’m another one who believed you about Mil’s joyride. Didn’t you provide photographic proof of that previously? I’m glad both pets are doing well. I think Mr. Lawn was antsy because he was in a wee bit of pain despite the pain meds.

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  29. I hope your drunk roommate does the next thing, passes out for a long time, then gorgeous Forest will be back to normal…as normal as can be with no saq. Your pandemic self looks wonderful!

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  30. I lurve your hair color now, keep it.
    Also, as a fellow, gal-low , northener. Take your hose off of your outside spigot so it doesn’t bust your pipes inside when it freezes.
    Thanks for the video/audio. I believed you as well and love hearing your voice. Makes you more believable. har

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    1. Is anyone going to tell Beth how I react to advice, or am I gonna have to do it? It’s going to get Forest-with-the-cone if I have to do it.

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      2. Trying to save you repair cash before you have to spend it. It’s easier to make money by not spending than work yourself to death.
        Just hand me the dam liver and I will slap myself.

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        1. A. I have lived here two years and have done nothing with the hose.
          B. It’s 79 degrees here today.
          C. Why do you have 50 IP addresses? It’s making me quite suspicious.

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          1. I don’t know what an IP address is? or how to get one.
            I mean no harm, goodness, I read every day or when you post and enjoy.
            I’ve been here since you and Marvin were living down south.
            I will email you my name and address and you can come visit.

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          1. P.P.S Just because you’re FROM the midwest doesn’t mean you have to live like you’re IN the midwest when you no longer are, ole Beth from the Woods. The weather doesn’t follow you. har.

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      3. It’s not your first year in the South by a long shot. June loathes advice. Give it at your own peril and duck the liver slap. How is that, June of the beautiful hair?

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    2. Hi, Beth from the woods. As we say around here, oh honey. We all have tender spots and June’s tender spot is unsolicited advice. As a fellow once-upon-a-time northerner I know all about taking off the hose and draining it, turning off the water to the spigot, draining the spigot and leaving it open. It’s an annual late autumn do it or you’ll be sorry afternoon chore. Down here most of us do nothing or if we do anything we get one of those styrofoam caps but I’ve never done that. I don’t even have a way to turn off my spigots without turning off the water to half the house. I asked a couple of neighbors what they did to their outdoor spigots for winter and they gave me “you one of those crazy people?” looks, because, nothing. Thanks for wanting to be helpful. There was an old Free to be You and Me song that had a line, “Some kind of help is the kind of help we all can do without.” We apply that here or we need to dodge the flying liver.

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  34. Miep and the yogurt. Oh my god. And honestly, if you said there WAS a troubador at the vet, I would be like “that’s June for ya. Always living the good life.”

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  35. Mil’s fur colors in the video are gorgeous! He is not just your basic garden-variety buff tabby. He’s got some caramel coloring in there. PRETTY. Also he seems distressed that his usual garbage can ride is bumpy. Poor thing just so you could document it for non-believers. I BELIEVED YOU, JUNE.

    Where did you get your header picture? It looks very much like NYC about fifty years ago. Central Park West, to be exact. Although I can’t explain that guy’s facial hair…..

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    1. I think it IS New York, but it’s just a Google image so I don’t know the deets. Also, “deets.”

      Yes; he’s got some darker fur in his head that might be gray? Maybe? But when you try to look at it it’s not really there. It just gives the illusion of gray. It’s weird.

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