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When we were last together, we didn’t know what Nevada was going to do.

…Oh, wait.

We didn’t know what Nevada was going to do, and also I had been told by my headache doctor, the one who made me nearly break my barf streak 10 years ago, that I had to give up my headache medicine because it was causing more headaches.

Look, how is that my fault? Make better medicine, then. Don’t make medicine that makes headaches come back. We all have to function. We have to keep going. We don’t have the luxury of lying in bed endless days with a sick headache, says the woman who just spent 5 days lying around sick. If you make a pill that makes it go away, we’re gonna take said pill.

The thing is, for the last, oh, I can’t even tell you how long, I’ve gotten a migraine nearly every day. If I go two whole days without the twinge of one, it’s notable. And here’s the sad thing: I always say to myself, Maybe I’m done having them. I do it every time there’s a lull. Maybe it’s over. Maybe it’s Maybelline.

So when my doctor said, “Next time you get a headache, you simply cannot take medicine,” that next time came sooner than you’d think. It came that day, actually, last Tuesday, but I had to see who was elected president and you all see how that worked out, but I took an Imitrex that night. Screw it.

Then on Wednesday afternoon, the pain came back. Just like the cat in the song. The pain came back, we thought it was a goner. But the pain came back. It just wouldn’t stay away, away.

Anyway, so I told myself, Here we go. I won’t take an Imitrex. And once again, Dear Imitrex: Make better medicine, then. Again, how is this my fault? Why am I the one who has to be tortured for doing what your damn medicine says to do, which is take one as soon as the pain even hints around that it’s on its way?

My ex-mother-in-law used to call Marvin and me and say she was “giving half a thought” to visiting. That meant her ticket was purchased and her bags were packed. When my head tells me it’s giving half a thought to giving me a headache, I’d take a pill. It’s what you’re supposed to do: nip it in the bud. Oh, now that’s bad?

Anyway. So I had a migraine. With no drugs. It wasn’t pleasant. It hurt. I missed work. I was nauseated. But I got through it. It lasted 24 hours, but I got through it.

I had one hazy hour where the pain was kind of receding when

BOOM!

It wasn’t just migraine pain, which by the way is already dreadful. I got a whole nother migraine, along with racing thoughts, panic attacks, inability to sleep, chattering teeth, and?

My favorite!

Nausea. I won’t go into it, but be glad you’re not my roommate. Edsel is traumatized.

That was Thursday? Friday? Oh my god I really don’t know. It’s all sort of a haze of misery. Nothing made me feel better, and that’s likely because I could take nothing. He’d prescribed me a sort of muscle relaxer but I was allowed to take it just once.

At some point over the weekend, the pain part and the racing thoughts subsided, but the nausea stuck with me. Thanks! Thanks for being there through thick and thin.

So now it’s Monday (right?). He has me on this new preventative, that I’ve taken since Thursday despite how rotten I have felt, and I think it’s making me feel out of it, because I need more symptoms. I also have been lowering the coffee consumption, which does not make me bright-eyed.

Anyway here it is Monday (right?) and I have

A

LITTLE

HEADACHE

and I’m ready to punch Ouiser. I’m so goddamn mad I could scream. And I have to copy edit things, which means I’m encouraging a migraine. Copy editing always makes me get a headache, but what doesn’t anymore.

So that’s how things are going over here, and also someone needs to pull Forest aside and tell him this whole lying on me and patting at the keys while I blog is something I am NOT IN THE MOOD for and he’s lucky he’s silky and adorable.

So that’s me and my sitch. This all better fekking work.

Headily,
June

66 Comments

  1. Oh, June, I am so sorry that you feel so bad. But I am impressed that in this low time of your life, that you were able to spell Ouiser’s name correctly! You are incredible! Best wishes for an unhurting head and body.

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  2. I feel for you. I know about the triptans–even though I don’t understand why they would make a medication that removes a migraine, in order for it to come back the next day. I now suffer through most of my migraines and limit myself to twice a month taking a triptan. It really sucks. I’m glad that your cemetery cat is safe due to his prettiness.

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  3. I am not sure I would follow the guidance of a doc who told me that caffeine is bad for migraine headaches.

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      1. This is so strange, but I couldn’t sleep last night and was decluttering and rearranging some books. I got distracted and was looking through a 1000 page on healthy living and right there was information about caffeine and how it causes migraine headaches. I was surprised but I immediately thought about you.
        Tee

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        1. That’s weird! Yes; if you are not someone who drinks a lot of coffee, caffeine can stop a migraine from coming. But if you are a caffeine addict, it exacerbates migraines.

          >

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  4. How long do you have to suffer?!!!! This is just horrible, I hope you can get some relief really soon. Next time ask the doctor if he’s ever had a migraine, if not, ask him for a hammer so you can give him a sample of how it feels.
    Tee

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  5. I just got over my horrific migraine, so I share your pain. WTH with not giving you that shot? Why do all the celebs and tennis players get the shot but not normal people in agony? I hate doctors and Big Pharma. My doctor tells me to read books instead of giving me the shot. Read books. Yeah, like that will make migraines go away. Idiot. I went through that whole “get off the drugs you are having rebound headaches” thing. I stopped taking the drugs. And you know what, I got migraines back again, too. Maybe not quite as quickly, but they did come back. No easy answers. Cannot beat these things. Except maybe the shot. GIVE US THE SHOT.

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  6. This is all horrible and I have zero advice.

    If you somewhat subscribe to the idea that before we are born, we agree to a certain number of things that we will suffer through in order to better perfect our souls for eternity, then I hope you are getting MANY PAST WRONGS ERASED with this migraine bullshit. And by past, I mean past lives, not like taking a lipstick sample at the five and dime 40 years ago.
    Sometimes my oldest daughter, who lives in Texas and tested positive for COVID AGAIN (she was also covided this summer) calls and says “exactly what all do you think I signed up for? Did I just sign every damn page they showed me and agreed to all the misery?”

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    1. I subscribe to the idea that our souls choose lives based on the lessons we need to learn. I had never once considered that we agree to these lessons ahead of time and my mind is now blown and I will have to call into work today.

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  7. My partner Mark gets bad migraines too and he was having botox injections on his face and head to relieve the migraines. Ohhh he was looking so young and the migraines really did ease but didn’t totally get rid of them. Maybe you can ask the doctor about having botox injections. Can’t hurt .. and you might like the results.

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  8. So several years ago I had to go through the same thing, only my migraine drug of choice was Zomig (I did sometimes take Imitrex but Zomig worked best for me). My neurologist AND my acupuncturist both told me I was basically addicted to my migraine meds and told me I had to go through withdrawal – like you are going through. I’m here to tell you it sucked memorably but it worked – I no longer get migraines. That is all – there is hope.

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    1. And I gotta say, I totally agree with you – why the FUCK do you have to go through this with these medications? I don’t think there’s a migraine medicine out there that doesn’t cause “rebound headaches,” which basically means you’re addicted to something that causes you the very thing it’s supposed to prevent. This is BULLSHIT and I can’t believe you’re having to do this, probably 12 years after I had to do the same thing. Why can’t they fix this ridiculousness?

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      1. This makes so much sense. The addiction and withdrawal. Detox, retox. Detox, retox. Plus also too, add in the withdrawal from caffeine (also addicting) and it’s a perfect storm of headache hell.

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  9. I am sure you’ve already tried this but…have you tried only taking half of the Imitrex? For me, if I do that, I don’t get the rebound headaches nearly as often. But I have to take the half as soon as I feel one coming on. Just a thought from a fellow sufferer.

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  10. So sorry to hear about your lousy week. I hope you get better drugs or SOMETHING to help you. Also, was it on here that we were talking about the saying “Nip it in the bud? I saw somebody on TV say “Nip in in the butt”, so that was interesting

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  11. I am more impressed than ever at the absolute awesomeness of this blog. When I get a migraine, I can pretty much manage to sit in my bed, moan and think fond thoughts about trepanning (doesn’t it sound awesome when the pressure is bad? No? Just me?). You somehow manage to function enough to blog something hilarious (how are you hilarious in pain? That’s some superpower there!).

    Seriously, though. Have you considered trepanning? 😉

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  12. I am so sorry you’re having all this pain. I hope your doctor has learned a lot in the last 10 years and that all will be well soon.

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  13. That all just sucks. I Can’t even imagine your suffering. I think you need a fainting couch and a hot man of color to wave a fan over you.

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    1. Sorry for that post. After I read it back I realized how racist it sounds. It was not meant in that way at all. So sorry to anyone that I may have offended.

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  14. I’ve been thinking about you and hoping you’d have better news. What a horrible way to live. Hope the doc gets it figured out soon.

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  15. This is torture. Should be prohibited under the Geneva Convention. Or a Star Trek Convention. Whatever. Amal Clooney will know. Call and ask her to take your case.

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  16. This sounds completely miserable and I’m sorry I know you’ve heard all the “have you tried,” but let me just * whisper * here that I have a friend having very good success with one of the new monthly injectable migraine meds. And I’ll shut up now.

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    1. Yes, I know about those, thank you. They are $400 a month with my insurance and I can’t get my doctor/insurance to agree I need them. For everyone who’s gonna go down this “have you tried” road, I have made this list about 40 hundred times, but again: Acupuncture, acupressure, Botox, biofeedback, Topamax, meditation, increasing water intake, exercise, Maxalt, Imitrex, chiropractic treatments … what else, y’all? What else have I tried? I can’t even remember it all now.

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      1. Mother hell!! $400 with insurance? That’s obscene! And insane. I wish the people who set those prices would get migraines – A LOT OF THEM.

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  17. Oh the misery! You’d think they could put you on, oh I don’t know, some methdone or something. I mean this is a legal drug you’re trying to shake – even a heroin addict gets treated better. And how about some of that good anti-nausea stuff… the name of which escapes me right now. Surely that would help. Next he’ll tell you to get a new job, the helpful Dr Pain.

    Feel better June!

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        1. Zofran! That’s it! They gave me that after an eye surgery because barfing meant blowing out an eyeball and I started to feel a heave coming on, popped the pill and WALA. I was better. Why can’t they issue all of us a supply of those things and end puking for all time and eternity? Well, except for when it doesn’t work… sorry June!

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            1. To DISTRACT you. DISTRACTION is guaranteed to get you through any pain. Or so they told me in my Lamaze classes 40 years ago.

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  18. Oh June. This sounds horrible. I wish there was a more clear cut answer for you. What a rotten way to live.

    Wait, is this the same doc that prescribed you the medicine he now says you cannot take?

    Hope the preventive or the diet starts to kick in and hope Forest starts to get with the program.

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  19. I hate you are in such misery. That sucks. I hope you get better soon

    Remember on Bewitched when Darren’s mother would come visit? Some sort of witchcraft would happen and she would see it. She would turn to her husband, Frank. And say “Frank, I have a sick headache”. I say that when I feel a migraine stirring. My husband will run get my medicine because he knows what that means. We were with friends when boom a felt one budding. I turned to him and said “Frank …” our young friend said ” but his name is Bruce”. I think we need to get older friends
    Feel better soon Joob

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      1. “But his name is Bruce” reminds me of Siren. Didn’t she name everything Bruce?

        June, what you are going through is dreadful and I hope Dr. Don’tmakemenauseated’s ideas finally give you relief. I’ll practice twitching my nose to see if that helps.

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    1. This sucks. How long is this supposed go on? At some point will he say that new preventive just isn’t working?

      I’m sorry you are miserable. I wish there was anything I could do to help you!

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        1. Oh. Four days. I guess that’s not long enough to tell. But I bet 4 days feels like four weeks! I’m so sorry.

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  20. That all sounds excruciating. I wish there was something we could do to help you. Besides making your life a medicine free misery does the doctor have any other bright ideas? Damnit from over here.

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    1. I meant to mention in this post that I’m on a preventative–can’t recall if I didn’t get to it. Also he wants me back next week for those same nerve blocks that made me almost barf 10 years ago. Also I have to change my diet. I am working on the lowering caffeine part, which I think I mentioned above, but I have yet to do the diet he wants me on, as I am overwhelmed enough ATM.

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      1. I have a new female doctor who told me “Girl, you have to commit to coming for monthly follow ups because there’s a lot to fix…”. I love her.

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    2. And throughout it all, you still were able to make us chortle. All of us wretches who demand each hour to have your attention. Just kidding 😂You are a saint, dear Joon!

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