Yes, sir, yes, sir; two bags full.

I got my Christmas cup out early.

Really, last year, I had one of those moments where you’ve put all the Christmas things away in their bins, and searched every light fixture and plug for any teensy Xmasy decoration that your mother—who likes Christmas and sends things like Christmas nightlights—sent you, and you finally feel assured that you’ve got it all, and then you find a Bah Humbug mug and

GODDAMMI—

this ridiculous black cat just hit some key and deleted half of what I was writing and I had to go into drafts and restore what I had and now I have the livid of a thousand suns. You know how livid they all are.

He doesn’t just get between me and the keyboard. No. He also won’t ALIGHT, so he keeps walking back and forth across me/the keyboard, swishing the World’s Most Fluffy Tail,

purring and smelling of kitten food.

Anyway the point is I just kept that cup in the normal cupboard all year. It was not banished to the Christmas bins, and now when the other Christmas cups get here it will brag about its wonderful year in the normal cupboard. Hanging out next to the Carolina Theater mug.

If I have to give up coffee I guess I’ll become one of those people who is really into tea. I can’t wait to see who is hovering over the keyboard to deliver the earth-shattering news that some tea has caffeine in it.

I like peppermint tea. Maybe I’ll get some extra-fancy peppermint tea. I also like green tea, and they must make decaf green tea, right? Oh, lord, what has become of me? A caffeine-addicted reader who has cats on her is who I am. I guess I can be most of those things with tea.

In other ridiculous news, I have a dog. Last week, I ordered stuff on Chewy, which—in case you’re a tidy person with no pets—is a site where you can order pet supplies. I have a problem with ordering SIZES on Chewy, as they offer no banana or anything with which to compare, and have more than once received a bag of dog food taller than my own self.

This happened yesterday, and not only did I receive ONE bag of dog food taller than my personal self, I received deux. Dos. Tea for two. And now we’re full circle boom lift baby lion I need to get over that line.

Dude. First of all, I assure you I did not order two bags of dog food, so I think I got free food. So, yay? But, dude. There is so much dog food up in hurrrr.

Thank god that dog doesn’t have a heart condition, because I have senior dog food for the next five years. I mean, that’s an exaggeration, which is not like me, but I’m going to go out on a limb, here, not literally, and say I have dog food through April.

I have one unopened bag taller than my own height, which is 9’4″, in my clothes closet. Then I opened the other bag and poured what I could in the now-miniscule-seeming dog tin,

then I also put some in a baggie.

after putting the rest in every single container I have in the house. These containters were then very scientifically crammed haphazardly into the pantry. And by “pantry” I mean “closet where everything unseemly goes.”

There’s kibble in to-go containers, old yogurt thingies, Rubbermaids, cookie tins.

Even no-nonsense Mr. Brawny is appalled. Mr. Brawny is tear-ing up. Get it? Do you? What do you want from me? I’m like whisper-caffeinated at best.

Anyway I’m good on dog food. Remember this day: November 10, 2020. A day that will live in infoodmy. Then check with me in April to see if I’m still on those two bags of dog food. You’ll ask me and I’ll be all, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

You wrote an entire post about it, June.

I did?

I’d better go and do work things for a change. In case you’re worried, I’ve fed the dog.

Chow,
June

P.S. I totally forgot the bottom of this mug had this:

Dear Mom: You really captured the spirit with this particular gift.

59 Comments

  1. I get a sense you will find dog food coming out of every orifice the next few months.

    I love Pukka 3 Mint tea. Peppermint, spearmint, and field mint. Not sure it’s available in USA?

    That TAIL!!! He’s going to be able to get away with murder.

    There was something else I wanted to say but I’ve forgotten.

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  2. Oh my god with the meetings today. I only just now got here. Love the mug. And the dog food sitch had me giggling a bit. It reminded me of my mom’s fridge where you are looking for some leftovers and you have to open six country crock containers before you find what you are looking for.

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  3. Lovely post. Forest is so beautiful and sounds sweet. I’m always amazed at how snuggly all your cats are. Our two are not and it’s a little sad, but we still let them live here. Its finally cooling off for real here which is when it starts feeling holidayish to me. I’m toying with adding some Christmas decorations to my fall ones.

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  4. June,
    I think we all have the Christmas detritus that hands around all year. And yes, we resent it.

    I am what my friends call The Tea Queen. Please, allow me to send you some tea from my collection. Send me your address and tea will be on its way.

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  5. I also too think you sound much better today. Hope it lasts. Plus furthermore, I’m very comforted to know that Edsel won’t run out of food until April.

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  6. I so get the leftover Christmas debris. I had two cats that thought my Christmas tree was a kitty condo loaded with toys. I would find ornaments tucked away well into spring.

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  7. One Christmas Mr. The Poet hung a faux pine garland from the ceiling so that Small Pom would not chop down the old pine tree. We left it up all year and stuck things on it so it became less holiday-y and quite useful. Where else would one hang one’s felt yeti?

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      1. I was put on a beta blocker that makes me incredibly lightheaded and dizzy whenever I bend over. When I mentioned that to the doctor, he said “Don’t get on a ladder.” Thanks, Doc.

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  8. “Useless warm brown water.” That’s how David Letterman described decaf coffee after his heart bypass.

    Loverly non-blog non-post, loverly June. You reminded me why I unsubscribed all my subscriptions to everything except the newspaper (which is next on my list but I say that every month and yet keep it coming because some habits really are too hard to break). The pet food and pet treats and pet toys started piling up in the garage because I just couldn’t judge how much or little the puppy was going to go through. I ran out of containers to contain the containments. Somehow I ended up with a dog who isn’t food motivated and was eating maybe once every two days. She is Frisbee motivated, however, so we do have 6 of those.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What do you think it is, about the newspaper? It became a habit so early on in my life and I cling to it now – just Wed and Sun now but still! And you know, there is nothing in it really. With instantaneous news on the internet, all the paper news is, well old news. But, I have a couple of columnists that I still love to read and the Sunday funnies and the – lol- obituaries. Not sure why other than that they seem to be in an interesting format. Oh ya I think it is silly. But such a habit. Can’t quit yet.

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  9. Does an ax become a hatchet when the ax handle breaks? Honest to goodness, that was the first thought in my depressed head when I woke up this morning. Other people wake up with their gratitudes, I read Book of June and ponder deep meanings.
    This was a great post. Thanks for writing.

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        1. The infuriating leftover Christmas ornament usually ends up in the linen closet with the equally infuriating Easter Bunny pushing the cart of glass eggs which for some reason is the one left behind year after year. I even moved it this fall in the box with the linens and now it is in the linen closet in the new place. Why would I even do that?

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  10. I lived in Ireland my junior year in college. I had never liked tea, but I think that I was only exposed to Orange tea. Gross.

    Anyway, I loved tea in Ireland. Really they probably usher you to the airport if you decide NOT to like it. Everyone there drinks tea. I can get that tea here but drinking it here on my own caused it to lose its luster, so I’ve given it up.

    I have bins of Christmas decor and setting it all up and taking it all down is not my favorite thing. Getting more decor as a gift makes me mumble Bah Humbug.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tea here, meh. Tea here mixed with memories of England and Australia, cozy and warm and lovely and add just another spoon of sugar in that cuppa, Love.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I had to cancel Chewy autoship when my dog died and they sent me a lovely sympathy card which was quite delightful. I mean, I would have preferred a refund on the food that I could no longer use, but whatever. It’s the thought, right?

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who ends up with that random leftover Christmas doodad once Christmas is over. God knows I have more than once just trashed the offender, rather than look at it all year. Otherwise it ends up in my china cabinet where I’m likely to forget it for a second time and have it be joined by this year’s left behind.

    Forest really does have the fluffiest of fluffy tails! Maybe he has a message he’s trying to type to us?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Jooooon, tea has caffei…… oh, never mind.

    That ridiculous fluffy tail gets fluffier, every day, I swear. He is so cute!

    I can usually get the right quantity of pet food from Chewy. I have to laugh when the box comes though, because I usually order at least a 28 lb box of litter with my order and that, plus cans of cat food etc. make the box well over 50 lbs. I swear the UPS driver backs into my driveway, and just KICKS my box off the back of truck onto the driveway, because the box always looks like it’s been through a buffalo stampede or something! By the time I get to it, it’s mostly open and broken down, and I carry the pieces into my garage.

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    1. Same! It’s not enough that our FedEx driver truly hates our house because one of our two big dogs, who is usually a big sweetheart, wants to EAT him and sounds like Kujo as soon as the truck slows – but then he has to boot the box of cat littler and 30 lb dog food. I appreciate the environmental kindness, Chewy, but you’re breaking the back of the delivery guy.

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  13. Pukka brand has a very nice three mint tea. I’m also trying the three cinnamon tea, which isn’t as spicy and harsh as I’d imagined. Good luck!

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  14. Your title is awesome. Lovely post, lovely pictures. Forest needs his own play keyboard so he can walk on it to his heart’s content.

    Back in the day prior to 2020 when family could visit, we kept herbal tea in the house for one visitor who didn’t drink caffeine. I think she also like peppermint tea. Too bad I didn’t have a Bah Humbug mug to use.

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  15. I won’t bore you all again with my tale of reconfiguring my autoships after our previous dog died and ending up with mountains of cat food. MOUNTAINS. Ok, maybe thirty or fifty pounds, I don’t remember now but anyway, I’ve had to reorder cat food twice already and the screwup was only in March. Plus also too, Chewy always ALWAYS delivers on the rainiest day.

    I always have one more Christmas item that gets left behind and stuck in the “operations” (junk) drawer in the kitchen. One year, a sparkly icicle. That was cheery all year. (Not. It annoyed me.)

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    1. It’s funny how Christmas decorations are cheery during Christmas but somehow horrifically depressing after. There was a laundromat I went to in LA that left its poinsettias out all year. It always made me despondent to see them.

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      1. Oh my god – regarding the poinsettias! My husband has 3 poinsettias that he insists on keeping alive in the house. They are the ugliest things and are constantly dropping leaves. I need to find a way to kill them without him knowing about. P.S. I really enjoyed this post.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. You might want to try Peet’s Decaf coffee. I have never cared for decaf but a friend suggested it when I was whining about craving coffee sometimes late at night. It tastes like regular coffee to me.
    If there has already been a discussion about decaf coffee, I missed it. Also, too, I hope it’s ok to use the word decaf Instead of de caffeinated. I just typed that as one word and my phone changed it to two. Plus I had to look up the spelling on google and it showed it as one word. Whichever…. it’s good coffee. Honest. Hope you are feeling better!

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    1. Ten years ago, that headache doctor said “Not even decaf.” He failed to mention it this time, which makes me hope it’s no longer true. I guess I really should, you know, ask.

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          1. I love that mug so much! As for tea, I have to have one with flavor. Love peppermint tea! Look for Teavana brand as they have the caffeine level in the container. The Peach Tranquility is caffeine free!

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  17. I love Chewy! The thought of never having to go to a pet store again makes me happy. I even have auto-ship so that I never even have to think about ordering food. It just comes when I need it.

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    1. I have autoship for things like medicine and litter, but I can’t seem to get the timing down on food. Either my pets are clean out of food and I’m ordering them Chinese, or I have dog food in my clothes closet.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Lovely post Coot.
    I ordered the solid gold big money special prescription dog food and they delivered 2 cases. How does one little eight pound dog eat 2 cases of super expensive dog food in just 2 Months? Now I order 2 cases every time I order. Maybe they will send an extra case because they feel sorry for my bank account.
    My Christmas cup didn’t survive the big kitchen rebuild of 2020. It broke and I ended up drinking my tea out of a measuring glass. Classy is what I am.
    How’s the noggin? Hope you are better.

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    1. I love Chewy, they keep me from driving from store to store looking for the flavors of food my cat will eat. I’m like you, I can’t seem to get the timing right on the auto-ship. The size/number/weight thing was how I ended up with four POUNDS of bananas rather than four on Instacart. Sigh. That’s a LOT of bananas and they don’t keep in the pantry. I had to freeze them for future banana bread. Peppermint tea is very tasty and there IS decaf green tea. I hope you are feeling better today.
      Tee

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tee, I have FIVE GARLICS right now, which I forgot I am supposed to give to Faithful Reader Audra. I mean, not all of it. But one or two. But, same thing. I don’t know what I told Instacart, other than I FEAR VAMPIRES. I mean, who would want that much garlic?

        Alternatively, I have ended up with one banana from Instacart. I don’t know how I did that, either.

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  19. I’m pretty sure “Bah humbug” can be a year-round sentiment. It certainly is for me, and I wouldn’t think twice about using the mug all year. It will be especially fitting for you to drink your uncaffeinated tea from, right?

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