The people’s blogger

As I’m sure you can imagine—not that I think this is a part of your rich fantasy life—Edsel poops out on the grass. He almost never poops on our walks, saving that only for the rare times I say, “Oh, I don’t need a bag today.”

Anyway, this morning I opened the back door and all the animals burst out of it like they were clowns and my house was a Volkswagen. Which, let’s face it, it’s not much bigger. What I saw next delighted me.

You won’t BELIEVE what happens next. Click here for an infuriating slideshow that shows you a photo and then on the next slide, text next to that same photo.

Forest pooped in the lawn. Not in the dirt in the garden, which I have seen the other cats do and which is fine by me. He just went over to the grass where Edsel does it and squatted. It was a delight. He must’ve thought, well if ed sell do, it OK.

In case you are not a cat person—and if not why on earth do you read me—cats usually poop somewhere like a litter box or in dirt, where they can cover it up 47 times after. They don’t just go randomly in a lawn the way dogs do. Leaving it out there for the world to see. But Forest? He doesn’t care who sees.

Good cat, Forest.

He is, however, practicing his morning routine now, where he lies on my wrists while I type this post, sometimes reaching over and erasing the entire thing with one velvety paw, and thank god for Command Z.

It’s hard to lose patience with someone this pretty.

Anyway, enough of my cat du jour. What really matters is Season 4 of The Crown was on this weekend, and Season 4 is The Diana Years. I capitalized and italicized that last part myself, with my nervous system.

Oh my god it was all I could DO to wait for Sunday till it got here. I woke up and was all, GASP!!! Like Christmas morning. With Princess Diana.

And because I know myself, I know I had the stamina, the wherewithal, to sit there like a lump for 10 hours and watch every episode all day long till I got a dull headache. And to avoid doing that and not savoring it like Edsel with his dinner, I made myself a list of things I had to get done between each episode.

For example, I made pumpkin chili. Then I got to watch an episode. I switched my shower curtain from the summertime one with pink and coral pompons to the burgundy and turquoise one with Frida Kahlo on it. Then I got to watch an episode.

Princess Diana had both shower curtains in the palace. She totally did. Shut up.

Anyway, that meant that in between tasks, I got to sit like a lump for FIVE glorious episodes yesterday, and when you combined it with all the shit I got accomplished (see also: Christmas shopping, all via catalogs), I spent the whole day with Princess Diana and her bulimia, and you have to hand it to me for watching that, as it was quite graphic.

I suppose it’s meaningful in some way that my phobia was her go-to for calming down.

The point is, it was like 10 o’clock at night when I finally looked at my phone, and had every human I’ve ever known in my lifetime called or texted or messaged me?

DID EVERYONE NOT KNOW IT WAS MY DAY??

So I had to send about 40 “Sorry, it was my day” messages and then I went to bed.

Oh! In case you haven’t watched it yet and the season has been out for 24 hours what’s your problem, there is one scene where Princess Diana is engaged, making her Lady Diana, still, and if you want to irk me please call her Lady Diana now. Anyway, there was one scene where they are engaged, so the queen and Prince Charles take her into this room with some dude there, and he has this huge box

even telling you about this I get the squeals all over again

this HUGE BOX

and in it were these

GLORIOUS PRICELESS RINGS

and she got to PICK ONE for her engagement ring! I mean, there were giant diamonds and also rubies and emeralds.

OH my GOD!!!!!! If I’d gotten to do that he coulda climbed on Camila right there in front of me. Hooo care? Lookit these rings!!!!

Also, the one she chose is the very last one I’d have chosen for myself. Diana and I both have July birthdays, and I’d have chosen our birthstone, ruby. Which I just typed as runy and YOU try to type around a cat.

I almost think if that story is true, that she got to just PICK from among priceless rings, that it was worth plowing into a concrete block at the end.

I have to go. Despite it being my week off, I scheduled a dermatologist appointment for 9 a.m., which is a wonderful way to relax straight off the bat.

I have to go get m’skin looked at now.

Dermabrasively,
June

42 Comments

  1. I’m an inveterate binger. Of everything. Including series. Am enjoying Crown season 4, but honestly (don’t throw livers at me, please) never did understand why Diana was such a big deal.

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  2. I have never owned a cat and thus didn’t know these deLIGHTful details about their bathroom habits. For a while a neighbor’s cat was pooping in our grass every night. We Gladys Kravitzed our own yard to spy on the trespasser. Jerk! Thankfully he moved on to soil someone else’s soil. Bah!!
    Princesses and poop. What a day here at the Book of June!

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  3. I follow Stephanie Gottlieb on Instagram, and aside from the enough-already-rainbow-everything, I covet almost every piece she designs. Ahhh, to be rich. But at least I can enjoy the photos.

    I am so violent with my hands that I lose my stones from my rings. I lost a ton of small diamonds from my wedding ring and my 5 year anniversary ring, so once those were replaced, I stopped wearing them. But now I’m thinking, what’s the point of having them if I don’t wear them? I think I’m going to brave it, put them back on, and what will be will be. Maybe I will be a bit more careful. Maybe. If not, so be it.

    I wonder what Diana would be up to now had she lived. I certainly don’t think her kids would be at war with each other and I can’t believe Meghan would be in the picture.

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    1. They have locking necklace things that you can place your rings on while you work. I know because my best friend is a nurse and some of her co-workers wear them. Stones can pick up and harbor germs. Ring wearing is forbidden in the NICU and probably other places in the hospital, especially now.

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  4. I was also obsessed with Diana. She was everything. I had read years ago that the she indeed picked her ring from a tray of offerings. She picked the largest one. Harry actually inherited the ring, but gave it to William to give to Kate. Megan’s borrowed Tiara was 100% real. Lots of Royal British Jewelry websites are out there. They can tell you the history of every brooch or earring.

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  5. i haven’t watched this new season because I have to finish a series I am binging on in Prime (Sneaky Pete.) Next up, Princess Diana!
    Our male cat, Charlie, would squat and pee on the grass which always struck my funny bone.
    On another note, I saw an advertisement for a Xmas movie called ‘Holly and Ivy,’ and I thought that these were great cat’s names. I started calling the boy cat ‘Holly’ and the girl cat ‘Ivy.’ They didn’t seem to mind. My husband, however, was very confused!

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  6. Staring: June as The People’s Blogger. Edsel as The People’s Dog. And your choice of cat. With special mention of Peg (RIP) as The People’s Neighbor. Marvin as The People’s Ex. And Ned as The People’s Whatever Happened To ?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Tee. I didn’t mean to like my own comment I just wanted to respond to you. I thought that was a great comment and you came through, old friend. Miss you. PJ

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  7. Once again, laughed out loud at your writing….the vision of the animals bursting our of your house like clowns from a Volkswagen! I watched 2 episodes of The Crown — I was so excited for this, but I like to savour and watch these slowly over several days. I saw an article this morning about what was true & what was fictional and it claims that she did in fact get to choose her own engagement ring! I’m going to make that turkey chili today – I’m assuming you wouldn’t have shared the recipe if it wasn’t delicious??

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  8. My birthday is also in July, thus ruby. They are quite lovely, but diamonds are my best friend. The sparkle gets me every time. That would have been my choice, the bigger the better!
    I love the way you paced yourself throughout the day with your Netflix. I watch these like I read books, don’t bother me till I am finished!

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  9. Those dumb click bait slide shows – half the time they don’t even show you the one thing that lured you in. WHY do I keep falling for them?

    My grandma’s cat used to poop in the lawn, but we always thought that cat was half dog anyway. He used to follow us around and would do tricks for food. His name? Kitty. Or Cat if you asked Grandpa. I loved my grandparents.

    I have to start The Crown. Lots of good buzz. I started re-watching The Office and find the unending laughter very cathartic right now.

    Good luck June with your once over. Mine was supposed to be in August. Cancelled due to you know what. Hopefully I’m not harboring anything.

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    1. In those annoying slide shows, I look for a name and then I stop the slideshow and look up the name. Usually I find out the story without having to click my life away. I once clicked through a slide show to see how long it would be before they got to the information that they first showed in the thumbnail. I got to slide number 34 and then… they started a different slideshow.

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  10. Wait, what does command Z do? Is that a real thing?

    I am not a cat person. I’m here for the bits like ‘he coulda climbed on Camila right there, if I got to pick one of those rings’ – paraphrasing as I’m too lazy to look back.

    Just got Netflix and I am enjoying ‘Dead to Me’. I just told my girls that I heard a show called ‘the Crown’ is also good.

    Coach tried to cancel Netflix after our 30 day free trial a few weeks ago. Not wanting to pay. Thank goodness I stepped in and insisted we keep it. Earned me a “That was boss” compliment from my teenage daughter. How often does that happen?

    My preteens are obsessed with Cobra Kai. The aftermath of Karate Kid. Something for everyone.

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  11. I didn’t get into the Crown until last year (I KNOW!!) but have watched Dead to Me and a few others from their beginnings. I make myself watch only 1 episode a day, maybe 2 on a weekend to stretch it out. Even then, I’m so sad when the season’s over. I want more!

    CommandoBarbie

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    1. Nope, I have never watched a single episode of The Crown, which is surprising because I’m such a huge Royal follower. For reals. I really need to get on that bandwagon.

      And now all I can hear is “And we’ll never be ROYALS” by Lorde.

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    2. I have not watched this show because I’ve heard that parts of it are so inaccurate. I don’t like wondering about whether what I’m watching is true or not.

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    1. There are alternative birthstones for every month. November’s is Topaz, which offers a huge variety of colors. There are gemstones associated with your zodiac sign and other things. Google alternative birth stones. Scorpio gets Beryl which includes Emerald, Aquamarine and Morganite. My October traditional stone is Opal but my alternative one is Tourmaline.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I listened to half a podcast about Diana this morning and now I can’t wait to see Season 4. I am trying to save it for myself for Thanksgiving. I doubt I’ll make it; if I had that kind of willpower I’d be a lot thinner. I remember when we first saw Diana’s famous ring and so many people commented about how gaudy it was and of course someone her age would choose something like that, etc. Haters. There were comparisons to her possibly catalog shopping and insults referring to Service Merchandise (remember them? I am old). But now that ring is iconic and beautiful. And Catherine was certainly gracious about accepting it; I doubt it is her taste. Meanwhile, had that ring gone to Meghan….well, let’s not cause a brawl in the comments this early in the week. (I recently read that the tiara Meghan wore for her wedding was a fake! Apparently the Queen had loaned a bracelet to Meghan and Meghan “lost” it, so no one trusts her. Cubic Zirconia for Meghan!!)

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    1. No, the tiara was legit. Not fake. But I’ve heard/read that it was not the one she wanted but was the only one that was offered in a “take it or leave it, Toots” way.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. I heard/read that too! That Meghan wanted a different tiara and Harry threw a bitch fit. MY GOD, if the QUEEN offers to loan you, A COMMON AMERICAN, a tiara, the correct response is, THANK YOU YOUR HIGHNESS. What crust.

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  13. I would have not picked the ring that Diana chose, but the biggest diamond in the box. What is wrong with people? Have a lovely vacation week, June.

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  14. Lovely post Coot.
    I made myself NOT watch it. I made myself do other things because, Frank, I have a sick headache. Instead I laid with a cloth over my eyes while listening to the SpaceX launch, because that is relaxing.
    My Kahuna took me to the diamond district in L.A. to buy my ring. This nice Jewish man pulled out a huge tray of rings and I got to choose. Then the nice man with Jan Brady ringlets told me he would throw the wedding band into the price. It was magical.
    I didntbchange out shower curtains but I did move the winter clothes out of the spare closet and put them in the main closet. I think that is what gave me the sick headache

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  15. I’ve already seen on the news this morning that the “Palace” is smoking mad at this season and says it’s full of falsehoods. Whoooo care? It’s frigging entertainment and I. am. sure. I will be entertained. I actually prefer the sapphire over my own pale unexciting aquamarine so that might have been my choice anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Colored stones have been quite popular in England far longer than they have here. I love the color of Eugenie’s Padparasha Sapphire best of all the rings I would have chosen a more modern setting.

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  16. Wouldn’t you have loved to see the exact rings she had to choose from? I’m sure I can find that somewhere on the inter webs. Oh I wish I had Netflix. But I struggle because I have Prime and Hulu and don’t watch half of its offerings as it is. But it seems all the good shows are Netflix.

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    1. I have Prime and Netflix (because my son-in-law pays for the flix), but I’d rather have Hulu than Prime. The grass is always greener ya know!

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