Crowd fun.

Do you suppose it’s ironic that my tidying up book is just a wreck? I imagine Marie Kondo would be all, Get a coaster, bitchy-san. I think “san” is “Mr.” in Japanese, so that whole thing made so sense.

Anyway, hi. I’ve been up for awhile on This, My Week Off, mostly wrangling cats.

This one has been simpering at the back door, hoping I let him out and I don’t want to.

So I distracted him with his toy mices. Mices is a highly acceptable word in your loftier circles. Your loftier cat-toy-discussion circles.

But let’s talk instead about my dangerous Monday. My dangerous Lidaysons. That is a perfectly acceptable word in your loftier circles.

As you know, from your Big Book of June Events and also yesterday’s post, I had to get up and dash out of the house early, on That, the first day of My Week Off, and head to the dermatologist for my annual scan-me-for-cansa. When I moved to TinyTown, that’s how they pronounced it: cansa.

I made it there right on time and noted I was in the same parking lot where I get my Latisse/Botox, and was highly tempted to waltz in there, not literally, ask get me some Latisse. But Latisse is $109 a bottle and I just bought everyone’s Christmas presents so it was exactly like Gift of the Magi which I don’t have to tell YOU was written by a Greensboro author now we are full circle lift baby lion boom.

[Brought to you by the Committee to Boycott June if She Makes the Baby Lion Joke One More Fekking Time]

Now, since this pesky hoax of a pandemic began, I’ve been to the doctor twice. Once to get up to date on my I-don’t-have-a-spleen boosters (seemed like a good time to be, oh, immunized against pneumonia, for example) and also to see the headache doctor, which in case anyone is keeping track at home, I have been plagued with more migraines and I am annoyed.

These are two separate doctors, obviously. Had I had Siamese twin doctors where one side was my migraine doctor and one was my general practitioner, I might have led with that.

In the case of my general practitioner, she made me get tested for COVID before I could come in at all. Once my test was fine, I was allowed to come back for m’shots. I was the ONLY patient allowed in to the whole shebang, there was no one at the front desk, and I was whisked (not literally) to a room for my booster and sent home quickly.

In the case of my headache doctor, I had to answer do-you-have-COVID Qs, no one was allowed to come with me, no one else was in the lobby, and there was a glass thing between the receptionist and me.

So I assumed my dermatologist would be similarly COVIDed up.

Oh my god, no.

I mean, they did take my temperature when I walked in. When I walked in TO THE CROWDED WAITING ROOM. I was stunned. I didn’t even know crowded waiting rooms were legal anymore.

I mean, it wasn’t crowded, like, you could barely find a place to sit crowded. But there were easily five or six of us just sitting there. There was also no glass or plastic to anything between me and the beleaguered receptionist.

I waited maybe 10 minutes, stunned, and was just about to get up and tell them I’d be outside and call me when it’s my turn when, in fact, they called me.

I was ushered into a room right away, which was good, but once the doctor came in I had to remove my mask for her to check my face for the skin cancer.

When I was done, she gave me a card and told me to present it to the checkout person.

THERE WAS A LINE to do so, so I left.

OH MY GOD.

For a doctor’s office, it seemed startlingly cavalier.

I had a hair appointment today and also my barf shots at the headache clinic, but I called and rescheduled both for two weeks out, telling both places why.

Both of the people I talked to thanked me profusely for rescheduling.

Also, later in the day, the headache place was clearly not communicating well with each other—which as we all know is the backbone of any good oh fek it—because I got a call from someone in a back room there, who said she knew I was coming in for those shots and she wanted to warn me they are

SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS

with insurance, and also did I know I had to keep RE-getting them every three to four weeks. Eventually I’d meet my deductible and before you stampede for the keyboard my deductible restarts in July.

GEEZ.

I mean, are these really gonna work? They better really work. I’m already scared to get them and now they cost four hundred million dollars?? AND they make me barfy? Did I mention they better work??

So anyway that’s my latest. My lawn guy is here and I also feel like such a lady of the manor sitting in here while he weeds and mows and really what I am paying him for is to look at snakes so I don’t have to.

I really like my lawn guy and I’d like to point out that his English is a hell of a lot better than my Spanish. However, I was charmed today when he texted, “Miss June, do you want me to moe and blow the leaves, or just moe?”

…I just Googled Moe, with the intention of showing Moe from The Three Stooges, but what I got instead was a lot of Moe from The Simpsons. People’s current references are stupid.

Anyway I just looked out and waved at my lawn guy because I feel guilty now. He’s really just a lovely person.

I’ll pen you tomorrow as I wait for symptoms. You got anything to stop this coffin?

June

33 Comments

  1. Marie Kondo should be thrilled that you’re using her book as a coaster. It’s one less item you need to have in your house. Plus also, she apparently doesn’t think we should have any books at all, so feel free to toss hers. Unless, of course, it brings you joy. Or if you would then need to go out and buy a coaster.

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  2. I thought Forest’s mouse was a chunk of his tail.

    My daughter gets the awful shots, (4 of them in the base of her neck/head) and they do help immensely, but our insurance does not charge us $7000000.

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  3. Wow. Stay safe and masked lovely peoples. Here in Victoria Australia we all wear masks whenever we are out of home and I love it (I mean I hate wearing masks just like everyone else but I’m doing it so we can all be a bit safer). And we haven’t had a single case in 18 days (and counting). You are all awesome people doing good things in a very terrible time.

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  4. Mices is a very acceptable term. I use it all the time when talking to my cat.
    I went to the dermatologist in June masks were not being worn by the doctor or any of his staff. The waiting room was properly distanced with chairs turned to the wall that shouldn’t be used. I registered and told them I would be waiting in my car and to call me. Fortunately, I was called back to the room immediately, but still no masks. However, my dentist appointments were just the opposite. Both dentists and their staff covered from head to toe with protective gear. Both places I had to wait in my car until they called me. I had to wear my mask in, but obviously I had to take it off for the exams. Both dentists required me to rinse my mouth with hydrogen peroxide for seems like forever, but I think it was only a minute or so.

    $700! That’s insane! For one shot. I have a dear friend on chemo right now and a new drug has just been approved that is perfect to build his red blood count. It’s $63,000 (sixty-three thousand) per shot. THAT’S insane!
    Tee

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow on your dermatologist experience. Mine is the opposite. The lobby still has all the chairs, but has white taped ‘X’ marks for where you’re allowed to sit. Clear partitions for behind the counter staff. She wears a respirator mask + a clear shield. She’s in her late 30s, but turns out she has a heart condition, so extra, super careful.

    Just got my test today, as had possible exposure. Fingers crossed it’s negative.

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  6. I know I’m preaching to the choir but I will never, ever understand the medical facilities that don’t require masks. Very early on before this was completely out of control and the information on mask wearing was mixed, I didn’t think I’d wear a mask. But as soon as it became clear that it was one of the only small things you could do if you had to be out, I was wearing a mask. I don’t understand the science-deniers.

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  7. I read this hours ago but have to come back because “bitchy-san” is the funniest thing I read all day!
    What irks me on behalf of you and everyone about that shot is it probably costs $2.75 to make. All these people in the middle gettin’ rich.

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  8. Oh my god with these people and not wearing masks. Just wear the damn mask. Things are getting out of control and people are just awful. I have a dentist appointment next month and I’m not sure if I’ll reschedule or not.

    Also, the price of those shots. That’s horrible. One thing this pandemic should have taught people is that our health care is ridiculous and needs to change. $700 per shot. That might work. I’m upset for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. My SIL is a nurse. She said her ICU unit is now a COVID Unit. A very crowded and scary COVID Unit. Mask wearing here in NJ is pretty good, but so many people have their noses out. I avoid them like the plague.A former co workers mom died. I passed on the viewing. My friend that did go said it was packed and people were all touchy-feely. Yikes!! I did have to tell the receptionist at my hair salon to pull her mask up. If I can see your mouth, your not wearing a mask.Have you seen the glitter meme?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I am having a hard time getting over that Receptionist! Good grief. How much ignorance must we tolerate? I keep putting of my dentist cleaning appointment – but going on Thursday and I am feeling a lot of anxiety. And what about the nurse who talked about the patients on their death beds who were certain the virus is a hoax and that could not be why they were dying…
    Sigh

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  11. Lovely post, pretty June! Hope you stay healthy but thank you for canceling other things just in case.

    Healthcare is such a disgraceful ripoff. Pay $700 regularly or be miserable? And hey, we don’t know that it will actually work? Ugh!
    My Dad fell this weekend and of course, managed to break his hip. Ambulance ride, surgery, the whole deal. Fortunately, this is a first for our family aside from the fact that he was already immunocompromised so spending some luxury time in a hospital, even though I know they’re careful, was not on the lockdown plan. The home health social worker called my mom to discuss PT and set things up. They have three different insurances, Mom asked worker if any of the plans were covering what the recommendations were? HCW asked “are you concerned about finances”? Sigh. I’ve gone through three different phone batteries in two days. *bangs head on desk*

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    1. How awful that your dad broke his hip. Hope his healing goes extremely well and he stays safe.
      “Are you concerned about finances?” What kind of idiot question is that?

      Liked by 3 people

    2. Dear Anonymous, you may or may not care to know that is has been proven when we think elderly people fall and break a hip, well that is not what actually happens. They actually fall because they broke a hip. Our bones are brittle and fragile as we age and not always but the majority of the time the bone break causes the fall.
      please knock some sense into that HCSW, are you concerned about finances? What kind of Social worker asks that? Sorry about your dad, sending positive vibes to all of you.

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      1. Thanks Sadie and Sara(h)!! I appreciate all of the info I can get – well, less of the data from WebMD since they say a broken hip is a sure sign of cancer. I need to look up hang nail and see if it says the same. 🙂
        My Dad was heavily into martial arts so he’s got a good grip on how to fall – he got a foot tangled in a cord so he couldn’t get it turned correctly and he went down hard on his side to meet a concrete floor. Fortunately, it was a very clean break. I mean, scope of things, but….
        I had a “chat” with HCSW and she said “well, your mom sounded upset”. Uh, ya think?? We had a contingency plan for this – that did NOT include a raging pandemic. She’s now dealing with this as semi-point person since I’m 3k miles away and not going to travel 4 airports in order to quarantine or risk bringing them something ELSE to deal with. A few hours after this happened, their state went into full lockdown so she can’t even see him. The attitude was slightly different when we hung up and I can guarantee she called me every name in the book.

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  12. Good for you, June. I know you were looking forward to getting your hair done. My husband has been having an issue with finding a chiropractor on our side if town who’s not just laissez-faire but actually ANTI-Mask. They could care less that he just had open heart surgery.

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  13. I managed to use the lift baby lion line in a story the other day. I rarely remember good turns of phrase at appropriate points in time, so I felt very smug about it.

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  14. I had to get an x-ray over the weekend. The receptionist, and that was a misnomer, he was not at all receptive, made the person ahead of me, who, btw, was named Kesha and I did not ask if that was with the $ or without, stand across the room! Not-Receptive was behind plexiglass and masked. Kesha was masked. He made her stand at least fifteen feet away. So then I was six plus feet behind her and the automatic doors kept opening/closing so I moved up. He had a hissy fit and admonished me to back up again. Jackass. So I moved beyond the doors until Kesha was sent to wait in her car and it was my turn. I slowly moved up until he yelled STOP and then I yelled my name and reason for my visit. And he was ANNOYED because that meant I had to be brought to radiology. Which, it turned out, was just the next room and I could manage the directions he gave me. “Through that door.” Anyway while I was then in radiology’s waiting area (population: me), a man came in wanting a COVID test for his elderly mother who had been exposed. Jerk receptionist wasn’t having any of that. “Any symptoms?” “No.” “Well, the doctor is not going to WASTE a test then. I’ll schedule you, but just so you know.” The poor guy was upset, his mother is elderly, can she get a flu shot then? “Any symptoms? Fever?” “No. No flu shot. I’ll schedule you, but….” I wanted to yell out to the guy: “LIE. Shortness of breath. Hallucinations.” (Oh, remind me to tell you the shortness of breath story someday.)

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    1. Wow, gatekeeping flu shots from the eldering in 2020. There’s a special place for Mr. Receptionist waiting and no drink of water for him!

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    2. Wow, that receptionist is awful. How is it he didn’t think they’d give an elderly lady a flu shot?! I got one at CVS and didn’t have to provide any reasons for getting it. I don’t know if it’s different elsewhere, but, in my area, they want you to get tested for COVID if you’ve been exposed. SMDH.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. My teenage daughter had to have a MRI. The regular doctor was like Fort Knox. We waited in the car, were in and out, doctor consult by phone after the initial visit. The hospital for the MRI had us in a waiting room with no less than 20 other geriatric patients, who were all wheezing and coughing. Not to mention, that none of them could hear, so they kept taking their masks down to talk louder, to each other, because it was the social event of the year. I told the receptionist that we would wait outside. She was miffy about it because she would have to leave her roller chair to come out and get us. I was fine with that. I work in person at a middle school, and I feel safer there than I did in the hospital waiting room.

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  16. My husband and I were talking about whether we would go to a movie now; he would, I said hell no! Sitting in a room with a large group of people for 2 hours, no thank you.
    I hope you get to sleep in at least one day of your time off and that those shots REALLY work.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I had to go to the doctor in a small town in Mississippi because reasons, and the idiot woman at the front desk didn’t have a mask on. When I was back with the doctor I asked why the front desk lady didn’t have a mask on and she said “she’s been asked to”. I told her it wasn’t a good look for her practice. I have to check out with the non-mask wearer, who is now wearing a mask and mad as hell about it. She did not speak to me as I checked out, but I could tell from her COVID ridden, beady eyes she was pissed at me for ratting her out. Fuck her.

    Also, you may be able to get a prescription for Lattise from your dermatologist and then it costs around $60 at the pharmacy.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. Touching post, June. I’ve been funny touched, sad touched, surprised touched. If anybody drags out that infuriating line, “You can do hard things.” I hope you hit them with a hard thing. You have too many hard things to do. I’m so tired of doing hard things right now I could…bring a cat home so I could have something soft to cuddle up with. Have a great day, everyone!

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    1. oh we can all do hard things, doesn’t mean we F*cking want to do hard things or enjoy doing hard things. Life is hard and I know we can survive all this COVID, I’ve survived worse but that doesn’t mean I’m enjoying any of this. Insert annoying emoji

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