June briefly loses it; rallies

The boy cats and I are having a bit of a standoff. It’s terrible outside: It’s like 29 degrees or something, and there is freezing rain. Usually, they dash to their dishes for breakfast, then dash to the door to go outside, like they have to catch the A-train or something.

Today I opened the door, and Edsel ran outside, did his business—which involves many high-stakes dealings with heads of major conglomerations—and dashed back in with his newspaper under his arm. The girl cats didn’t even consider going out, but the boy cats stood in the threshold. Only those of you who HAVE cats know from the annoying “stand in the threshold” stance, while you stand there holding the door like you should be wearing a jaunty doorman cap.

Then they decided, nah.

After I shut the door, Forest and Milhous seemed to reconsider. They both hovered around said door, unsure.

“Meep!” said Forest, which seems to be his one expressed thought.

“You guys are insane,” I said. I opened the door again.

They tentatively took steps outside. “You want back in?” I asked.

“We good,” said Milhous.

“Meep!” said Forest.

And when I left them, they were crouched—crouched!!—in the freezing rain, refusing to give up. Hang on and let me see if they’ll come in now.

Jerks. Then they were all, “feel free to dry our furrr. it so raynneee.”

So, all that’s happened. I wish it would just SNOW. I keep asking my Google machine if it’s going to snow and she keeps very smugly saying, “No. There is no snow in Greensboro this week.” Oh, shut up. Can’t you throw me a bone? I’ve been in this house for 9 months. I need some fun. Give me a little percip, would ya? And not fekking boring freezing rain.

Normally at this time of year I’d at least have my work party and then my smaller team party, which is held somewhere cool downtown. Last year we had it at this cool old building where they sell weird eyeglasses now. At the front they had a person sketch you as an animal and at the back a guy wrote a poem about you. In the middle were snacks. It was all you need in a party, really.

This year I’m chatting with cats and hoping for percip. Don’t you wish I’d stop calling it “percip”?

Maybe I need a new hobby beyond cats and old romance magazines. What should my new hobby be? No one mention crafts or sports or games. That leaves a wide array of choices, does it not?

In other news, today I read that even after you get your coronavirus vaccine, you still should not travel or go out without a mask.

I think this is really about the time I might start to crack. Are you fucking kidding me?

Look. I’ve done this hard thing. Not to be smug, but I think I’ve done it pretty thoroughly. I’ve stuck to it pretty hard all year. I will wait my turn, till regular folk can get vaccinated. I will sit here in this 999-square-foot house till summer, if that’s how long it takes. That will mean I will have been here alone in my house, almost never leaving, for about 18 months. I have put gas in my car once since February, and that was really only because I had to drive Iris to Chapel Hill for her procedure.

But now you’re saying that even after all that, even after you told me in March oh, you just have to do this a few weeks. Then, oh, maybe a few months. Oh, wait, fall is gonna be really bad. Oh, don’t have Thanksgiving with people.

I mean, I did all that because I am not a nuttenheimer who thinks this is all made up, or that the government is trying to get us, which, why are people so weird?

It’s an illness that swept the world and we are doing our best.

Well, no. We did not do our best.

But I think scientists did their best with what they had to work with and with our blatant noncompliance. I did what scientists told me to do as they struggled with all that.

They told me maybe a vaccine in October. No. Maybe the end of the year. OK; it’s here but you won’t get it for awhile. OK; you won’t get it till next summer, probably.

OK. I will do ALL OF THIS WAITING.

But now you’re telling me AFTER ALL THAT, after I do ALL THAT, I STILL CANNOT GO ANYWHERE even after I get a vaccine? Which by the way isn’t one but one, then wait, then another? Even after all that, I STILL HAVE TO WAIT?

No.

NO!

STOP MOVING THE GOAL.

Everyone else got fed up way before I did, it feels like. Everyone else is cutting a corner here, meeting up with people there. Oh, we went to a restaurant but there were hardly any people. Oh, we went for a mountain weekend but we all got tested, mostly.

I have FOLLOWED THE RULES 100%. I will wait for my damn vaccine. I will wait for the stupid FOLLOW-UP vaccine. Then that’s it. That’s all you get. Go fuck your own self. After that, I’m going about my life. Which I just sat out on for at least a year and it’s looking like a year and a half.

I did not know I was going to just crack like that just now but there it is. Honestly it’s like a study in how far people can be pushed, this thing. And I am and have always been a rule follower. I find rebels to be not brave or inspirational; I find them to be assholes. So, I sat here and followed the rules. But reading that last thing just sort of pushed me over the edge, man.

Anyway, so I need a hobby. Looks like I’ll be here awhile longer.

On the edge and anthropomorphizing my pets,
June

75 Comments

  1. Lovely post Coot.

    Forest and his meet and Edz and his wheeling and dealing must keep you very busy.

    I have been quarantined since February because I was supposed to have surgery in March. They rescheduled it for June. Had my surgery in a private medical center and the only place I have been has been for followup appointments. You know what? It has not bothered me one bit. My life has changed very little. I am an introvert to the max. I can go weeks without seeing anyone but my husband and I am content.

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  2. Go, Edsel! Rock that necktie and briefcase! And set up those mergers and short stocks with your usual nonchalance. Atta boy!

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  3. There’s a movie star or celebrity or someone I read about who taught herself to juggle to overcome the boredom. There you go, June. If you get really good you could juggle the cats!

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    1. That reminds me, I think a guy in my neighborhood taught himself to ride a unicycle. I’d see him in the mornings when I walked the dog. Middle-aged, helmet, knee and elbow pads, but he was doing it!

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  4. It’s so nice to come here in the comments where people live in reality. June I’m so sorry you saw that whatever it was telling you that masks etc. would still be a thing after the vaccine. I think they don’t have the data yet that the vaccine will keep you from still spreading even if it keeps you from getting very sick. But. My gut feeling is ( not an expert although I do have a Master’s in biology) that it will. The viral load would have to be so low in you when vaccinated even if you carry the virus around with you at some point for a while because someone next to you had it and didn’t wear a mask or whatever. I’m betting this data will show up. I’m following a couple of infectious disease experts on Instagram and it helps my sanity. I have a job where I go into different elementary schools and teach science. Today (wait. Yesterday now) was a crap day. My bosses send threatening emails to the teachers beforehand telling them that they and their students have to wear masks (even over their nose! What a concept!) while I am there, but this school — I could tell the kids weren’t used to wearing them. I must have said 15 times in each class “can you pull your mask up for me please?” Then as I am walking out of the school I glance into the first class and the teacher is teaching without a mask. The kids in two of my classes left them on the desks to go to recess, and caught me still cleaning up when they all came back in and wanted to talk -+ because they are nice kids. But no masks on. All crowding around. South Utah county is a hotbed of misinformation. It may literally kill me. I’m really considering quitting. I can’t sleep now.

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  5. I’m with you, June! Most days, I am content knowing that I’m doing what I’m supposed to and I can’t control anyone else’s choices. Other days, I am RAGING mad at the selfish assholes who can’t do the simplest thing to reduce the spread. I will get the vaccine as soon as I can, and then I am leaving…on a jet plane.

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  6. I was home from work for a time, but my employer is considered essential and so we reopened and I was juggling work and no childcare for a bit. No telecommuting options were available. That wasn’t great. Once I had childcare again, I’ve been back to a normal work schedule. I think mostly working normally gave me a different perspective. I’m not saying I’m someone who denies there is risk or that there is a very serious illness. That’s just ignorant. But once I went back to work and the kids went back to school and childcare, I wasn’t as constantly worried about one of us getting sick. I think being home made me dwell on it and once I was busy with work and regular stresses, I was distracted from the endless news and I didn’t have the headspace to think about Covid as much and to worry. I don’t judge people who haven’t left their homes or who feel safer ordering groceries, etc and not venturing out. Their health may depend on them living that way. On the flip side of that, I don’t judge people who are living more carefully, but are venturing out. I know things may never return fully to normal and that a vaccine isn’t a guarantee that we will stay well, so I can’t hold onto all of the worry and fear that I felt initially. It put me in a very bad place mentally, so I’ve tried to hope for the best, be careful, but also live as normally as we can (within reason).

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  7. Have I mentioned lately the scores of wedding and group meetings where I work? I’m shocked and stupid enough to continue to be shocked. Everyone here going to bars, standing next to each other drinking…no masks. . Right now we have a group off almost 100 and half of them are teenagers. As the expression goes: No Covid in Florida. Scary and depressing. Thanks for another great post.

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  8. I had a very upsetting thing happen today at work. I work in a a small, rural library that decided to stay open as a service to the community. We’ve been sanitizing like crazy, limiting the number of patrons in the building to 6-basically doing everything possible to ensure safety while remaining open. We ask all patrons to please wear a mask. Today a homeschooling family of 6 kids plus mother and grandmother came in WITHOUT masks. I offered them each a free mask and they refused. Said they had a medical exemption-all of them. The mother started yelling at me saying I had no right to ask them to put on masks. No reasonable compromise was possible. I tried. In the end, the decision was made to turn them away and not allow all 8 of them in the library. My heart broke for those poor children who had to watch.

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    1. That’s just horrible. I’m so sorry. But you did what you had to do for the community. Good luck to the kids, and thank you.

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  9. It really seems unfair that the people that followed all the rules are basically getting punished longer.

    Like in school when the whole class lost recess because a few kids got in trouble. The bad kids ruined it for us.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. After reading your post this morning and the comments, I realized the song “Day by Day” was running through my head. Guess that’s today’s theme to me.

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  11. Let me start by saying we got invited to a Christmas cocktail party by someone who is a dentist. !!!! A cocktail party!! As if. The dentist should know better than that nonsense.
    Have any of you tried the Find Your Place in Line quiz for the vaccine? It’s kinda fun! You answer a few basic questions, and it will give you an estimate of the number of people ahead of you in your county. I live in a HUGE city, have no underlying health conditions, am in my early 50s and have a profession that gives me a slight advantage. My place in line? TWO MILLION!!! FtLoG! I read that 60% of people don’t want to be vaccinated, so I’m thinking I’ll be movin’ on up as the song says!
    Not a moment too soon, I say.

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  12. I like that phrase “This will pass. Like a kidney stone, but it will pass.” Sometimes I wonder if this is what it feels like to be under house arrest. Which I (being an introvert) always thought sounded pretty great, but now I see it only would be for a short time.

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  13. I can comment today. Being single and living alone is difficult But I am more of an invert so there’s that. What has been helping me lately is not thinking about life going back to normal. We are officially out of the office until 30 March. My bet is we’ll go back about this time next year. I jist can’t set expectations when there is, in reality, no end in sight. And unfortunately, i already presummed we will be wearing masks for a very long time. Can’t think on that for too long either.

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  14. I think what makes me sad is all the people in positions of authority, whether they be mayors, governors, representatives, etc. saying stay home, don’t go eat, don’t fly, don’t see your Mama, and on and on. Then THEY do it. And say sorry when it’s found out. How can anyone not be angry at that?

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  15. One thing that has kept me from going crazy with cabin fever is going for drives. The other day, Thing 2 and I went for a drive just so we could listen to Taylor Swift’s new album. We go on drives about once a week. I also go to the park every morning and get a 5K in. That definitely has saved my sanity. When the park was closed for 2 months at the start of the lockdown and I couldn’t go, I got real depressed. And I wear a mask any time I leave the house. As my husband said, “It’s not hard to just wear the fucking mask.”

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  16. I hear you. I’m tired of this new normal. The one that shows what entitled, self-centered dickheads most of us are. I have been following the CDC graphs and charts since the beginning to look for the curve to get flat. It NEVER GOT FLAT. Nope, it did not. We are all sitting at our desks waiting to go outside to play. Only we can’t leave until everyone is quiet. And there’s always a few jackasses who ruin it for the rest of us.
    And by the by, those charts and graphs? In other countries they flattened, they have improved. So, it can be done. Just not by the majority of Americans, apparently.
    My circle keeps getting smaller and smaller, of those that i want to see and hug after this.

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      1. And New Zealand! Sure, they’re small in square mileage but they shut that virus down twice and are living normal lives because everybody helped.

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  17. OH my goodness, my cat has been doing the same thing! She goes to the door, then just sniffs the air. Cats are always on the wrong side of the door. She may or may not go out, often she just makes a U-turn, at the moment she is crouched on the porch watching the cold rain fall.

    I’m a rule follower as well, but even before covid I had a very wide area as my personal space, so just stay away from me now, washed my hands constantly, never touched the rest room door handle, was opening doors with my backside and punching elevator buttons with my elbow. You can imagine how all this has stressed me, like the rest of you. I’m so thankful I am retired and don’t have to get out, but I’ve had a lot of medical appointments since June. My husband has a workshop that he loves and I have my sewing room, so that gives both of us things to do to keep our brains working. My observation is most of the people in my area are wearing masks. Last year I didn’t spend Christmas with my family because my niece’s husband was recovering from the flu, I didn’t spend Thanksgiving with my family this year and don’t plan to see them at Christmas. My neighbor’s office had a party at Thanksgiving, which he didn’t attend, all 17 of the people that attended the party have covid. I haven’t been to church since March and we aren’t going to the Christmas Eve Service, which makes me sad, but being a senior citizen I’m not willing to risk being in the crowd. I only grocery shop at ungodly early hours to avoid the people. This too shall pass can’t come soon enough.
    Tee

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A few weeks ago I ordered a paint by numbers of my dog. I wasn’t expecting it to arrive until January, but it showed up yesterday! It is going to take me years to finish this thing. I’ll post it on the Face… maybe a paint by numbers of Lu to pass the time?

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  18. In case you’re still missing the snow, it hit us about an hour ago and I already have snow/mud towels from paws. I think I would enjoy it more if no one had to go out in it. Bah humbug

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  19. Agree. Stop moving the goal.

    I leave for work everyday.
    My husband does as well.
    Both our college student kids do as well.

    So we can be out to work but otherwise we don’t go, see, or do.

    I’m in Ohio so we were “flattening the curve” since March. Then we ran our nationally lauded Health Director out because we can’t have nice things.

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  20. I have been so lucky to be home and retired so we are not facing hunger or losing our home. Our DIL is pregnant and a hospice nurse The vaccine isn’t ready to be given to pregnant women, you all know this right?. She had to get a note from her midwife telling Hospice to stop sending her to nursing homes because of the recent outbreaks.There are still nursing homes that are not providing PPE for their staff.So I am here to thank each of you who is taking this seriously. My friends in Australia got stimulus checks because they lived and worked in the

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    1. OOPS…They worked and lived in the U.S. in 1982!!!! My daughter never got her check. UGH. Our overloards really screwed the pooch on this whole thing is what I’m saying.

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  21. Good rant and who of us compliants wouldn’t full relate to it? I have been fascinated how it has exposed the range of human response in another forum. From tinfoil hat wearers to absolute refuseniks…. no matter what happens, everyone is represented. God help us, and I mean that sincerely. Puzzles. I hate them but my sisters and 2 daughters love doing them. Into that?

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  22. STOP MOVING THE GOAL. – Sports lingo – I am impressed. They just announced here that students will be in virtual learning until mid February. I feel so bad for the kids. My 16 year old needs to be with his friends. And not just so he can stop following me around the house talking about nonsense.

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  23. I’m with you on the moving goal bullshit. But not enough to do anything rash like leave my house. I’m going with the “This too shall pass, like a kidney stone. But it will pass” as my slogan for as long as needed.

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  24. Gardening has kept me sane all these months. Now that everything is dead and dreary outside I’ve taken to indoor gardening. Not the same but hopefully it will do and I’ll keep it together.
    I’ve never believed the loon that kept telling us the vaccine was coming soon, so this news is not surprising to me.
    I’m going to go Portal my mom. she loves that thing. She’s always dressed nice and has a full face of makeup on. Meanwhile, I look like crap in my stretchy pants and pulled back hair. 92 and she always seems to have it together. My little one year old nephew thinks she lives inside the computer. Ask him, where’s Nonna? He points to the laptop. Sad.

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  25. I’m with you. It is tiring to be the rule follower. It’s hard living in two worlds. I can’t understand why everyone is receiving the same messages and information but coming to much different conclusions.

    I live one mile as the crow flies from the CDC in Atlanta. I work at Emory. Most of our community here has something to do with one of the hospitals, the university, or research in public health. Most of my local friends and I are taking safety precautions that my friends who live father away would consider akin to putting foil on our heads.

    I have wondered if some of my household choices to go do things would be considered as being cavalier in the context of the rest of this area but completely unremarkable to those who don’t live here. For example, we sent our 2nd grader to a local pod at the YMCA so he could have someone supervise him doing his virtual school, but we just lost that as there was a positive covid test with one of his pod mates. I’m eternally grateful that having him in that pod worked well for 3 months. We have gone to outdoor events during down times. We’ve eaten outdoors at restaurants. But we won’t go to parties, we didn’t go to family Thanksgiving, and it’s looking like we won’t have family Christmas. It’s so heartbreaking, but it’s what’s best.

    Like you said, it’s not for forever, so as Wilson Phillips would have us remember, we’ve got to hold on for one more day, many times over.

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    1. I think you inadvertently hit the crux of the problem. We are not all hearing the same thing. There are two messages out there. One could shut this virus down in about 2 months or less and we could ALL go about our business normally. Other countries have been able to do it. We could ALL eat out and go to church if we wanted to. Back in the old days we all heard the same nightly news and you had to really search to find conspiracy theories. Now they will fly into your feed and you can have them all sorted out for you to say what feels good to you. We no longer share. We divide. It makes me sad.

      IN addition, I love the way cats dip their little paw into snow and shake it off, and then dip the next and shake it off. They get so prettily prissy pants about snow.

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  26. I legitimately read “I think this is really about the time I might start to crack” as “I think this is really about the time I might start to MAKE crack.” And perhaps that could be your new hobby? It’s very Walter White.

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      1. I read “Time to start smoking crack” and said to myself, “You got the hookup, girl.” Wouldn’t that be crazy, nice normal June gets hooked on crack and turns into crazy Duce with her batshit posts.

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  27. We might get a couple inches today, but I’m in the snowbelt so that isn’t really news here.

    I too have been a rule follower. Over the summer we did go to a couple restaurants to eat outside. I was uncomfortable the whole time. And the people who just won’t wear the damn mask. Just wear it. I have always disliked the majority of people, but that is because I am weird, but now I see how many people are either really just jerks or crazy or both. I listen to the scientists and Dr. Fauci. And we had Dr. Acton here in Ohio but she started getting death threats and people were outside her house being horrible so she resigned. Because MUH FREEDOMZ!1!!

    I didn’t know about the part that we still have to stay home after we get the shot(s). So that sucks.

    I have found I can keep houseplants alive now that I am home 24-7. So I am becoming a crazy houseplant lady.

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    1. I got weird about my violet for awhile and I fertilized it (I mean, I didn’t poop in it personally) and it was flower flower flowering and then it stopped so I got bored and threw it out. And that’s why God saw fit to not bless me with children.

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  28. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I will again, here is a favorite line from a poem which I want on my headstone (not the whole poem, just the line): “The more I know about human nature, the more I plan to be tall grass in a field.”

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  29. I agree about people. The arrogance and stupidity has left me dumbfounded. We’re getting lots of snow today. I’m happy for my dog. Wish I could send you some. This too shall pass.

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  30. I know what you mean . . . although thinking back to last year’s holiday party – did we ever see a drawing of you as an animal? That would be worth the price of admission!

    I’m taking a quilting class in January – just to have an excuse to be out of the house every Tuesday night. They’re very good about wearing masks and social distancing in the quilt shop (on Battleground Ave.) so I’m excited about it!

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    1. I waited in line for the poem. The person in front of me told her fekking LIFE STORY, and seeing she was 18 months old how long could it be, so by the time my poem was ready the sketch guy was at capacity.

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    2. You will love that class! I took it this summer and my quilt is beautiful.

      Forest peering up at you to be let back inside is just adorable. He’s such a handsome boy.

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  31. The last time I entered into a coronageddon convo here, I got all kinds of dreadful comments PMd into my FB inbox. So I won’t touch that there subject.

    How do you feel about gardening? My winter plan is always to start my garden planning for the next year. Order seeds, plan garden, start seeds… makes me feel like spring is just around the corner.

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    1. You DID? Whoever did that, stop it. Let people live their lives, even if you don’t agree with them. That’s just some intrusive, weird, crazy bullshit right there.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It made me really sad for a good while. It was obviously someone who read what I wrote HERE and then followed me over THERE to say some really unkind stuff about what a horrendous person I am and how fast they hoped I would die. I’ve learned a lot about humans these last few months. People don’t seem to believe that it’s possible to “take it seriously” and still do what you have to do.

        Good news though – or bad news if you’re one of the haters who wished Covid upon me – I’m still here. Not dead! Go me!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Love you Lisa, not that Lisa. I remember when you got that name. I wear a mask because I want you to live.

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    2. I was attacked by an angry mob on here years ago after answering a question about frequency of sex of all things. It’s not so fun but I didn’t get DM’d. That’s too far. Please keep commenting. They do get over it eventually…I think.

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        1. Most of it was good fun. There were a few that were pretty nasty. Luckily I have thick skin. I figure maybe it was their own personal issue. So feel free to make fun of me anytime. I just mentioned it in solidarity not to bitch.

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          1. Thanks BettyDH. I remember your sex life with envy and admiration!

            I think we have become very tribal. It’s all “either/or”. I live in the in-between.

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            1. Funny, that, BettyDH. I remember your sex life, too. And I totally believed you with joy. Carry on, lady.

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    3. That’s one reason I don’t comment on most posts, and absolutely not on coronavirus posts. I guess I learned a long time ago (not on here) that people think they’re open minded, but aren’t. They think they want to hear from your perspective, but they don’t. This year has taught us all a lot of things. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m glad you’re still alive. 🙂

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  32. I think people are thinking once 2021 arrives, life will be normal. When I heard my school superintendent say he thinks we will still be doing in person and at home teaching next school year, my heart just sunk. I’m teaching kids in my class and virtually. Kindergarten. It sucks in so many ways that I’m considering retiring but need the good old health insurance.

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    1. Bless you! There is NOTHING about virtual or distance kindergarten that makes sense. Young children don’t learn from a distance. They’ve got to be right up close and in person. THANK YOU for doing two full jobs, one of which make no sense developmentally. You are a gem!!

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  33. I didn’t use to hate people. But I like them far less, I can tell you that. I see people having parties and I think to myself, “welp, there’s another friendship that didn’t last…”

    Also, my dogs do what your cats do… I stand there, like a loon, freezing my ass off, while they figure out if they want to go out or not. Bc the sky is falling! In small, wet pieces!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I really used to think people were basically good. The way people will sit there at a red light at three in the morning, no one around for miles, because you’re supposed to. This year I have changed my mind. People are spoiled, immature and whiny. I really am stunned by it.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Yeah. When I finally come out of my hiding place, I am not sure what I will be doing. Who I will want to socialize with. I have been so disappointed by people whom I had previously respected, but not so much now due to their postings on the Face during this past year.

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      2. I sit at red lights at 3am (when I used to be out at 3am) bc COPS. WILL SEE ME. #rulefollower

        and if I hear ONE MORE PERSON say they are bored, or something like :my 6 year old deserves a nice party” (with more than 10 attendees, most of who were NOT family), I WILL GO ON A RAMPAGE. I delivered Christmas gifts to friends’ kids this weekend like the Lottie Blancos – outside, with a mask on, at their doorstep. No touching. Point was made.

        Sigh. People. Not a big fan.

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      3. People have developed crazy senses of entitlement since this all went down. They think that because a certain person in a place of authority makes all these ridiculous claims and proclamations, they don’t have to follow the rules either under the guise of “personal freedom.” Fuck those people. Yeah, I said it.

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  34. I hear you. It’s just so lonely. Why don’t people talk on the phone like the olden days? Texttexttext just isn’t the same. It’s gonna be a long winter, hopefully not The Long Winter.

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  35. Right there with you. I’m just tired. Tired of watching other people break laws when it feels like I’m the only one obeying them. Everyone’s bored? Hey, let’s have a neighborhood party! NO!

    Your snow is apparently being misdelivered by USPS. We’re expecting 12″ (hehe, I’m a 12 year old again!) by close of business today. Nothing on the ground thus far. I’d happily send it to you.

    Lovely post, pretty June. Thank you for staying the course.

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