You know how I’m a giant fat ass currently? I went to my Hello Fresh ordering system and selected dinners that were lower in calories this week. So, last night, I made a chicken breast with scallions, ginger, wasabi and just a tiny bit of this packet of sauce they included that was like citrus soy or something. I just assumed it was loaded with MSG so I was really sparing.
Then I made ginger rice and broccoli. I know technically we’re not supposed to eat rice if we want to be thin but whatever; it was delicious.
The whole thing was delicious, and that is why I ate both servings.
Hey, June, how’s the fat-assing going? Oh, it’s going well. I’m fat-assing super well.
Also I did Tracy Anderson this weekend. See above for reasons. I did the half-hour cardio I used to do obsessively about 10 years ago now. I did that thing every single day back in aught 12, which I guess is oh god this whole being in the 20s thing is confusing. Nine years ago? Don’t make me think about numbers. I have literally had no caffeine yet.
I realize I’m supposed to have no caffeine. But whatever.
I further realize a middle-class white woman droning on about her weight is incredibly original and you can’t get that kind of content just anywhere. So I’ll wrap up this kvetch by saying there is now, post-Tracy, some sort of fire in my left knee. It’s not there all the time. Just if I move a certain way, all of a sudden my kneecap-al area is fire.
You’re drivin’ in my car. You turn on the radio.
But let’s talk about the middle-class part.
Technically, I am. I looked on a chart once. I don’t really make that much money, but I can’t complain. I mean, I have enough to pay the bills. I usually have some left over for fun, too.
But I bring this up because slowly, over the last few years, I’ve gotten my money thing in a lot better of a place. People, I’ve observed, like to feel smug about my not doing well with money and I’m here to say you can shut it because I’ve pretty much conquered it.
You know, that’s a shitty thing to do. Everyone has a thing they struggle with, and what a shitty, shitty thing, to judge it and comment on it. I don’t comment about what a dull piece of unimaginative crap you are.
First of all, credit card debt was a big thing for me for ages. A few years ago, I gave my mother all my credit cards so I just couldn’t use them. I kept the vet credit card because I knew I might need that for big things and thank goodness I did, what with Edsel’s faux heart situation that cost a fortune and Iris’s many woes.
Other than that? Credit card debt? Zip. Zip-a-dee-doo-da. It took awhile. Any time I got a big chunk of money, like from taxes or a sugar daddy, I’d throw it at debt. I had a very obsessive chart I kept where I listed all the cards I owed money on and what the interest rate was.
When I moved in here, I had money from selling the last house and moving to this cheaper house, and when that money got to me, I couldn’t even wait. At lunchtime, I went to Subway’s drive-thru and sat in their parking lot with my phone and my faux tuna sub, opening each credit card’s website and BOOM! paying off a card. BOOM! paying off the next card. It was so fekking satisfying.
Every time I pass that Subway I feel that BOOM.
I also obsessively kept track of all my bills and got them as manageable as possible. I switched car insurance. I switched home insurance. I switched cable and then got rid of cable. I switched phone providers.
Then I got on those payment plans with my utilities, so each month they take out the same amount and at the end of the year, I’ve gotten a free month of utilities because they overestimate how much one person in a 999-square-foot house will spend on, say, heat. Then after that they lower the bill a bit. But the point is, I know. I know that every month, Duke Energy will be $85. I know Piedmont Natural Gas will be $40. There are no surprises.
So, with all this being careful, my credit score is now 795 and my whole goal in life is to get to 800. Getting to 800 is my Dean’s List of 2021. Back in college, to find out if you’d made it on the Dean’s List, you had to walk down to the student union and look at this typed, paper list posted behind glass in the main hallway.
Every time I made it (and once it was a goal, I always made it), I practically flew home. Also, when I think about how far I fekking lived from the student union and I walked all the way there, it’s no wonder I used to be lithe. I lived off campus, and it was like a 30-minute walk each way. I used to read and walk at the same time so I wouldn’t get bored.
Anyway. I have it in hand. Money, I mean. The only problem I have anymore is I just don’t make that much, so I’m not prepared for big emergencies. If a big emergency came, I’d have to call my mother and have her send me a credit card.
So my new goal is to work on that: After I hit the 800 score, I will work on saving absurd amounts. I DO have a lot going into my 401(k) each paycheck, and maybe I could save LESS there and more in real present life. I don’t know.
I currently have Netflix and Amazon Prime and Hulu and once we aren’t homebound I will eliminate one of those, but frankly I have so little entertainment I am loath to give one up now.
Also I’d save a fortune if I drove these animals to a field and became petless.
In the past, how I chipped away at credit cards was to freelance, but work can be very busy now so I don’t dare freelance. I’d promise some place I’d get something done and then have to work late at my real job and that would be terrible.
Plus? This year I had work burnout for the first time, and that was actually really scary, so I want to be careful not to get there again.
You know what I enjoyed? I liked reading everyone’s tarot cards. Maybe I could do more of that as a supplemental thing. I mean for people beyond all of you.
I don’t have to figure it all out this morning. My point is, I’m doing better in this category and I don’t know if I’ve come out and said that, point blank, so I’m saying it today.
June Moneybags Gardens