Bandtoinette

I wish you coulda been here five minutes ago, although it’d be weird if all 10 of you were here at once. Also, hello, superspreader event. But Edsel was in an altercation with a crow, and the crow was clearly tormenting him, bouncing from branch to branch right over Edsel’s head and cawing at him. And there was the Eds, his head thrust up, the sun making a halo around his fur. He was appalled. He was outraged. He was singin’ songs and carryin’ sides, mostly say hooray for Eds’ side.

But by the time I stopped admiring the conflict of nature and got my camera, he was back to his usual serene wait to be let back inside. For all I know he got the crow and was digesting it.

So that brings me to now, wherein I am writing you with shaking arms (of cancer) because I worked out with my trainer. And if you don’t know the arms of cancer joke, try to read every post, will ya?

Doesn’t that drive you berserk? Like, when you post something on social media and people ask a question that was answered in the post? Carole Radziwill, with whom you know I am obsessed, posted a video of her waiting for a coffee pod to be done brewing, and her post was punctuated with a coffee emoji, and someone below wrote, “No info on what you’re drinking?”

Okay.

First of all, WHAT IS THE OBSESSION with everyone wanting to know everything about every detail in a post? “What is that wallpaper?” I saw that this week on some other celebrity’s Instagram post. OH MY GOD HOOO CARE. Also, do you honestly recall the brand name of your fekking wallpaper??

And SECOND, SHE WAS AT A COFFEEPOT MAKING COFFEE AND USED A COFFEE EMOJI. What do you THINK she’s drinking, green Hi-C?

Purposely obtuse people stick in my craw.

Anyway.

I’m trying to think of anything interesting that happened on this, my third-to-last weekend of captivity. The house across the street is on the market, so I watched a parade of people drive down my normally quiet street. And just, for the record, if you’re looking at a house for sale? Could you be fekking quiet? You’re in someone’s NEIGHBORHOOD. Could you not, you know, shout at your person from opposite ends of the yard? Could you not screech into your phone?

Apparently I’m in a mood today, and that mood is June’s normal mood.

So that was interesting, and I secretly vetoed several people, and if they return, I’ll just chain Edsel up to the front of the house so he barks endlessly. And if any of my “yes” votes return, I’ll dress like Bugs Bunny whenever he dressed as a girl, looking all sexayyy. Many people would be driven to move into the house across from the sexy 55-year-old. “Hey, what about the house across from Whatever Happened to Baby June? That one was nice.”

Also, before the weekend started, I had a rather pleasant experience.

I started working at my company—not that I own it and if I did I would not be living here on Opium Street—on May 2, 2011. I was newly separated, and the Sunday night before I was to start I drove over there, just to make sure I totally knew how to get there and wouldn’t panic on my first day. When I got to the empty parking lot, there was Marvin.

“What’re YOU doing here?” I asked.

“I just wanted to see where you’d be working.” Then he got in his car and drove off to his mysterious apartment that I had told him to not tell me where it was. Turns out it wasn’t far from my office. Not that I own the office and if I did I’d have less of a nose right now and more of a jawline.

Anyway, when I started at that job, I worked on one client’s account, as did about 50 other people. We had one whole floor of the building that was just us working on that one account. And I don’t quite know how to describe it other than it was magic. And that’s not just me: Lots of other people who had been on that account said the same thing.

We all liked each other. And even when we slightly didn’t like each other, we all respected each other. And we worked really hard but we had the best time. We just—we had chemistry, man. Do you recall those first five years I was at work? We were always stampeding to happy hours together, and to parties at each other’s houses. We hung out at lunch and on our breaks. It was really great every day. I never dreaded going to work.

And then things changed. We got moved to other accounts on other floors. Some people left. Some people still worked there but you never saw them. I got put on another account where I was the oldest person and everyone ignored me. I’d go home on Friday night and an hour later I’d see a social post of everyone out for drinks and I wasn’t invited.

That was hard.

But then things shifted again and I have friends at work, some of them from that magic first group. The people who snubbed me are mostly gone. I can’t wait till THEY get old and ignored. I’ll be 92 and shaking my cane at them. “HOWWW DOES IT FEEEELLLL?” That was my old-lady voice.

So, last week, one of the core members of that original magic group told us all he was leaving to go work for a Finnish company, as you do. He was Finnished working at our office, is the thing.

You’re welcome.

We had a Zoom goodbye, and our group being our group, we made a goodbye presentation for him with photos through the years. And I’ll tell you what. For an hour, we were back together. We got the band back together. It was all of us talking at once, and me laughing so hard my throat hurt. There was Ryan, with a hilarious one-liner. And Griff, just being Griff. It was the best hour I’ve had in a long time. If I were that guy I’d rethink Finland after that meeting.

So that was lovely, and I think I’m the only person in America looking forward to returning to the office. Which isn’t even a plan yet at my office. But still.

Oh, and while we’re up talking about returning to life, not that some of you ever left it and if you think I will forget that, ever, I will not. I saw your true character. It’s not something I’ll just get over one day. I saw you. Prioritizing your fun over other people’s lives. I don’t care how you spin it; that’s whatcha did, man. You are a “Let them eat cake” person.

Anyway. While we’re talking about it, here’s a thing I did that I regret. Last year I don’t know if you noticed but we were mostly at home. Most of us. And I TOOK that time to grow my roots out, my white roots, and then in July I relented and dyed them again. And I wish I’d just kept at it because by now I’d be totally white and I’d see if I liked it or not.

So I haven’t dyed my hair since November 2020, and I have a hair appointment in April and I can’t decide. Just get it cut and not dyed or do the whole shebang? I really can’t make up my mind. I’m Ned with a menu right now. Ooo, how about a poll?

OK, I gotta go to work. I am late getting something to Ryan, of the one-liner Ryans mentioned above.

Rootedly,
June

49 thoughts on “Bandtoinette

  1. I voted no and the only reason is because if you’re asking, I don’t think you’re ready. When you’re ready, you won’t ask. It’ll just be “this is what I’m doing”. I also think your hair will look lovely when you grow it white.

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  2. The suggestion to try on a wig or use and app to simulate going grey was a good one. I hadn’t colored my hair since April 2020, but did an at home box color recently because I’m looking for work and my hair without being colored is 95% white. I’m 53. I plan to stop coloring when I retire.

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  3. It’s been a very hard year. Last week I felt like burning it all down. Instead, I shaved my head. It feels glorious! Can’t wait to see how it grows back and am planning on playing with some bright semi-permanent colors on the parts that are silver. That’s my DGAF anymore.

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  4. I voted for getting the color, only because I finally got mine done last week and have had so many people comment that I look so well rested, and honest to god I am so tired I could drop like a rock. No one has said “oh you colored your hair!” They just see that SOMETHING happened and it catches their attention. Is that good or bad? I don’t know. I do know that I feel like I look more animated – and not in a sexy Bugs Bunny way – when I have color in my hair. I just don’t think I have great gray hair though – mine just looks dull and washed out. And I don’t think you can be of the age for gray hair and just color it some really VIBRANT color and think you’re fooling anyone.

    Also my colorist pointed out that my hair is almost completely gray on one side of my head and 40% gray on the other. So that’s weird. Like that half man half woman at the freak show. Half old, half middle aged. And I am a bit further down the road than you, so maybe I’m fighting a little harder to pull it back.

    Overall I think women with gray hair are gorgeous. I just wonder if it’s any less work to keep it looking good? Or are you just trading one process for the other? I have no clue. CLUELESS on both sides of my head is what I am. Also did I mention tired?

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  5. I voted to let the silver come through because I recall your Grammy’s beautiful hair, your aunt Mary’s, and even your mama’s. You have the genes on both sides to get gorgeous silver hair.

    Myself, I quit coloring my hair in Sept 2010. I just wanted to see what I’m working with. It’s still a lot more pepper than salt, but I do like it. However, I have noticed that I am treated differently by the general public. Overlooked, ignored, and generally just invisible. That has made me sad.

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  6. “I secretly vetoed several people” – I love this, and feel like I probably do it a lot without even realising it!

    I want to explain my vote – I went with the “keep it grey” because I think it would be good to see how it looks with a good cut. If you don’t like it, you can always get it coloured later.

    I haven’t had my hair cut since December 2019 – I usually have a short bob, and didn’t get it cut again because I thought if we got locked down I would be able to tie it back if it was longer. I’m quite enjoying the ponytail but I’ll probably get it cut eventually (no hairdressers open in the UK at present). I’m lucky I don’t have much grey yet (I’m 59) but I have a few grey wispy bits a round my hairline and I have bought some pink dye to jazz them up, but haven’t had the nerve to do it yet!

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  7. I didn’t fill out your poll because I have two other options you might like.
    One option would be to go to a wig store and try on a white wig.
    Another option would be to do a search for an app that would show you with different hair colors.

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  8. As always you made me snort my coffee up my nose — Bugs Bunny dressed as a woman. Oh my god, how do you think of these things??? I have to wonder what it’s like in your head lol. I say go with the gray & call it silver. It’s the thing right now. I have only about 30% gray at 65, and my hair is really dark, almost black. I didn’t want to be the 75 year old with jet black hair pretending to be young. I got some highlights to blend it a bit more so it wasn’t as jarring as roots. My hair is longish, and it’s almost fully grown in after 18 months. Do it!! You’ll look beautiful.

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  9. I lasted from February 2020 to early August 2020 before seeing a stylist again, so a decent grow-out had already started. I caved and had my roots touched up. Like you, sure wish I’d skipped the color back then because now I’d be so much farther along in the grow-out process. I want to see the whole thing, not just what the roots show, before making a decision about leaving it as-is or putting in foils to somehow mitigate the horror. Good luck to you in your journey.

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  10. I voted to not color but I’m not sure why. Partly because your mom has beautiful hair and if it will look like hers, that will be awesome.
    Partly because my grandmother had beautiful hair and I want mine to be like hers. I’d love for yours to be like hers too, but I don’t know how to make you inherit my grandma’s genes.
    But, I know it must be a pain in the ass to be in the in between stage! Also, I don’t know if you are considering it because coloring is a pain and it’s expensive, or because you really might like it.
    Why does hair color have to be so freaking hard? It’s driving me crazy right now too.

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  11. I’m not sure how to advise you other than I still color my hair, but in my case, I’m covering dark roots. For me, I wouldn’t be ready to look into a mirror and see a gray-headed lady staring back at me. That said, I once worked with a lady in her early 30s who looked fabulous with her premature gray streaks.

    Let me know if I misused that darn comma.

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    1. My 25 year old daughter is very gray. She has large chunks of gray by her ears and on top of her head. My maternal grandfather was fully silver by the time he was 40 and I started getting gray hair when I was still a teenager so I guess it’s genetics.

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  12. Great post. Maybe put the money you would spend on color into a cookie jar and promise yourself something special if you stick it out.

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    1. I would really love to know where all the money went that I DIDN’T spend on Botox, hair and pedicures this year. Seriously, where did it go?

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  13. Oh, I remember when those turd-faces didn’t invite you to their happy hour and I don’t like them on your behalf.

    I did the same thing with my hair. I let it grow grow grow and then I relented and colored it and I wish I had not done that. I wasn’t seeing anybody, man. Except my poor (should I add beleaguered?) husband who would have had to look at that mess and also my Covid weight.

    Opium Street!

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  14. Oh, hi Ryan… I didn’t know you were going to be mentioned today. I would have fixed myself up a bit. Hi, Ryan. Hi!

    I haven’t colored my hair in almost 2 years. My natural blond has gotten REALLY dark which some days I don’t love but my gray is starting to come in more. Once it’s completely in I may decide I hate it. I do have a lot of red in my hair which I never noticed when I was coloring it lighter.

    I feel I must explain myself. I did travel. In December. Last March everything shut down. I was ecstatic. I love to be home. And stay home we did. Unless I couldn’t get a grocery order pick up time and had to go to the store, we remained home. After 2 weeks I was called back to work on a really limited schedule (2 days/8-10hr) with two other people. We were careful. We knew we were in each other’s bubble and my boss’s husband had just been diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. So I went to work and came home and nowhere in between. Summer came and as a school employee I was off work. My backyard and I became one. In August I returned to work full time (as stipulated by my contract) working from home on Fridays. My husband had worked the entire time. We were good. Until the cases started to sky rocket in November. My husband was exposed at work. Our entire family got Covid in November. The week after Thanksgiving we all tested negative and were told we were immune for at least 60 days.
    Something inside me broke. We had been so careful. Only doing what we had to do. Keeping our 11 year old inside and away from friends and learning at home. We had already canceled our vacation 3 times. I felt like we were immune and I had a streak of rebellion and we went.
    I’m sorry I wrote a novel. I just hate that anyone thinks I’ve (we’ve) been running amok without caution and care.

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    1. I’ve lost count of how many things we canceled. We had just moved at the end of 2019 so knew very few people in our area. I managed a parent’s emergency visit and hospital stay via phone because health officials said it was best if we all avoided travel. I know someone who received their full vaccine- and are now Covid positive. Some of us would give anything to see our parents, grandparents, anyone other than the people we live with and the area we’re in — to get “rebellious”. But we continue to stay home because that’s what’s asked of us by officials. Had everyone done this from the beginning, perhaps our country wouldn’t be in the condition we are now, maybe a few hundred thousand people would still be alive – mostly because we don’t know enough about this virus and whether we’re really immune, inoculated, positive or negative. So if you feel guilty, I’m frankly glad. Maybe that will help you do better in the future because I’m tired of some people being so selfish. I’m tired of doing the right thing while others vacation and party because they were tired of staying home. I like our house and I’m tired of being in it. And I’m tired of people justifying their behavior because however you try to cut it, it was reckless and irresponsible. You can’t explain that away. We will continue to stay in our house while others are out frolicking since we’ll be lucky to get the vaccine by Fall as we don’t fit any of the urgent categories. I refuse to jump the line because that’s wrong too.

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    2. Jan,
      I don’t think you should feel a need to explain yourself. Everyone has the right to make whatever decisions they want to make for themselves. I don’t want other people picking out my food, so I continued to go to the grocery each week. My husband and I chose to continue to eat out each week because we wanted to support locally owned restaurants so they wouldn’t close. If we had to go to the store to pick something up, we did. We kept doctor and dentist appointments. EVERYONE in my family, but me, went to work each week as none of their jobs could be done from home, so we were always at a risk of getting Covid just because they were around other people day in and day out. I don’t feel guilty at all for any of this – We wore masks and sanitized our hands ruthlessly. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Now, if I had gotten Covid and ran around town without a mask while sick, breathing & spitting on people, that would be a different matter as that would be endangering lives. But we followed national guidelines and did not do anything to put others at risk.

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  15. I’m in the same boat with my gray roots. Do I go for it or drag out the color? I don’t think everyone looks good with their natural grays in spite of people saying “oh you look so good with that snow on the mountain bullshit.” No, no you don’t. Keep us abreast.

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  16. I must agree, WHO CARE. I’m with Edz hating the crows. They are so annoying. How fun with the zoom parting party. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a work group, but over the years I did have a few special groups. I’m still very close friends with a few of them, in fact on Saturday I talked 2.5 hours to one of the men. We had to get caught up on health and family, it just took a while since he is holding his own with a life threatening issue. The others are women and we stay in touch all the time.
    If you don’t like the gray growing out you have options, just color it again.
    Tee

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  17. There are some great Facebook groups for people growing out their grey hair. I know because I joined a couple of them. I stopped coloring my hair just one month ago, but like you had started it last April, and bailed. Now I’m kicking myself. I have brown hair, so the contrast is great. I might lighten that part up a bit, or add some highlights. But these groups will embolden you! It’s a thing now, we aren’t alone. And without exception, the ladies look prettier gray (grey? who cares). Seeing that will give you the determination to keep going. When I have more of it grown in, I’ll share a picture so you can feel superior to me!

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  18. You would totally rock bugs bunny dreased up in a hot lady’s outfit. Baby Jane. Goodness what a movie.

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  19. I let my hair go gray this year, and I’m happy about it. Do I look older? I guess. But it’s not like I was fooling anyone with my light golden brown hair anyway. “Is she 50? Is she 22? I JUST CAN’T TELL!”
    I like not worrying about my roots and I think my gray looks striking. I also enjoy the aura of being a person who DGAF if you approve of her hair.

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  20. I voted no, I have a couple of friends who have done this. One is dark-skinned and she looks fab, the other has skin tone like me (and you) and just no. No. I worked at a place 9 years ago that had the wonderful vibe you speak of, I miss it dearly, glad you had an hour of it return, am jealous!

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    1. Oh, I miss having a jawline.
      My whole life I’ve been reading about how a woman’s aging face would have shocking changes, such as crow’s feet.
      Crow’s feet are awesome. Why was I not prepared for what was going to happen to my neck? Women’s magazines are entirely bullshit. They should warn us about the neck thing.

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        1. I have been putting face cream on my neck since my 30s and for the past 5 years or so have really tried to keep my face/neck out of the sun (I am 47) What age does the neck take the decline? I have noticed some friends my age have that horizontal someone sliced my neck line that I don’t have yet so I am hoping my obsessive moisturizing has slowed things down a bit.

          On the plus side my chin hairs are now white so I am ok with that part of the greying process!

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          1. Same with the chin hairs.
            I am one who is at a time in my life that ….I don’t care who doesn’t like me because of how I look.

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        2. @Kira Martin, there is thst brilliant book I Feel Bad About My Neck by the woman who wrote Heartburn wasn’t it? She died. (Having a brain fart).
          I have women in my life (aunt’s, sister-in-laws) who are a decade plus older. I watched their jaws slacken and mine has followed suit. It stinks. I agree, much harder to take than crows feet.

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      1. That’s why I loved the title of Nora Ephron’s book, “I Feel Bad About My Neck”. I may have to borrow Katherine Hepburn’s style of always wearing turtlenecks because who wants to see my neck?

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  21. I am going back to school after a week for spring break. While we all wear masks and do all the sanitizing, im a little nervous about those who did some traveling because they have taken precautions. Ive received 1 shot and get the next one soon. I miss my work group that was so fun. Now its just blah.

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  22. Great post, love Eds outdoor pic. Your group reunion made me smile. I grew my hair out and it’s a process; almost 18 months to become Snow White. Hooray for Eds’ side. Dead.

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    1. I think it took me around 2 years before all the old red dyed hair was finally gone. There were some rough months, mostly from people making mean comments (fuck ’em) but hashbrown No Regerts. I like my gray/silver although I keep saying I want to add in some purple highlights just for shits and giggles.

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  23. I voted no because your skin coloring is a lot like my sister’s And she started growing it out and she hated it. It came in white, white, white! She said every time she looked in the mirror, she felt like she was 80 years old.
    My hairdresser argues with me every time I suggest letting my natural gray come through. She says no, it will make you look older which will make you feel older.
    Knowing you; however, you could probably rock it…..so just ignore me. What do I know? LOL

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    1. My hairdresser (fmr) said the same thing to me. I said “Eff it” and stopped coloring my hair AND I got a new hairdresser. I have zero regrets about going gray. In fact, I get more compliments on my silver hair than I did when I had dyed red hair. And I do not feel old at all.

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  24. I’d like to know who the bitch-ass bitches are who clicked the “Haven’t we discussed this 80 times” option. I’M SHAKING MY CANE AT YOU!

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    1. I totally picked “Haven’t we already discussed this 80 times” because WE HAVE, and because it was such a funny answer choice!! Heeeee!

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  25. I am happy that you had the opportunity to return to Narnia. I have worked with groups of people and shared that magic. It is wonderful.
    In other news, dressing as Ms. Bugs Bunny might just backfire. You may end up with a whole crew of Furries or adult hobby horse enthusiasts. On second thought, it would make great not a blog fodder. (Did you see how I did that – hobby horse, fodder – an explanation for the obtuse.)

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    1. I would never do that because I do the same thing. I am getting a haircut with heavy blonde highlights on Thursday. It gives me a perking up I need badly. I may also have met a slightly younger man online and that is the image he has of me. Picture is from November 2019. Lots of texting no veedo chat until my hair is not a shanda. TM Paula Hookers and Blow.

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