Zelda Hissgerald

I never slept last night. I do not know what the deal was. Although I do have to tell you that the fine folks at Coca-Cola have made a Coke with COFFEE in it, and I did imbibe in one of those. But are those powerful enought to make me not sleep all night? What the hell, man? Is there Ritalin in them?

I had my trainer at 7:00 a.m. today, so at about 5:30 this morning I just gave up and got out of bed. Then I went to the trainer, and while I was there, I got a call from the vet that I could bring my new kitten in as long as I got there before 9:00.

Oh, did you not know I have a new kitten? I do. I’ll tell you in a second.

I RUSHED out of the trainer’s, SCREECHED home, LEAPT into the shower, and with wet hair I drove that little kitten, Zelda, to her first vet appointment. I can tell she’s got a little upper respiratory thing happening, which is common in kittens, as her eyes are a little scrinchy.

Oh, did you not know I have a new kitten? Hold your horses. Geez.

As I drove back from the vet, having been two places already before 9:00, like the Army, I felt a terrible pull of exhaustion. I am ahead at work, so I ended up calling in sick. Then of course I got a work call like two minutes later. Still. I’m going to, what? Sleep? Should I sleep? I’m afraid I’ll be awake again all night tonight if I do that.

This happened to me one other time, in 2006, in LA. Three nights I could not sleep, THREE NIGHTS. And finally I called in sick to my job, and when I came back the next day there was an email from the owner of the company looking for me. I had never spoken to her before or since, and that was douche-chill horrifying. “Do you know when you’ll be back in?” Good gravy.

Oh, right, the kitten.

OK, so, first of all, when Iris died, I assumed I’d just have three cats. I mean, three cats is plenty, although between you and me, sometimes they’ll all be up on the dryer, eating, and it looks like a paltry amount of cats. But really, what did it for me is Lily. I did not think Lily and Iris were that close, but it appears they were. She jumped on the bed and stayed with Iris while Iris was being put to sleep, even putting her paw on Iris’s back while she was getting the shot. And then, she has been going out EVERY DAY since April, when Iris died, and she SITS at Iris’s GRAVE.

What’s the most heartbreaking about this is that you have to see these weeds. I am afraid to weed, as once I was doing so and a snake slithered out and I ALMOST FAINTED FOR REAL, so I let the lawn guy do it, but it’s been too rainy for him to mow. Which I spelled as “roo rainy” just now like I’m Astro.

Anyway, Lily likes the boy cats and they like her, but they run off to the way back and she is not interested in those shenanigans.

So this weekend, I was busy buying new/old dining room chairs and selling Peg’s online, which was a mistake.

“Four dining room chairs,” I wrote online. “All have arms. Light blue cushion. $50.” Then I told the story of how they belonged to my neighbor who was an interior designer, and how they are “good” chairs, but that they were too bulky for my table, and I really thought I had given too much info, really.

Then the responses came.

“How many chairs are there?”

“What color are the cushions?”

“Now, do they all have arms, or …?”

My favorite was, “Is the hutch still available?”

The…? The what, now?

“I’m selling chairs, not a hutch {you damp ham}.”

“Oh, I really only need the hutch. It’s not for sale?”

OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? There is NO HUTCH, Starsky.

So, one of the 87 people who claimed they were coming to get my chairs said she’d be here yesterday at noon, so for the THIRD TIME I was dragging those huge heavy chairs out of the shed and onto the patio, only to be stood up again. Anyway, whilst doing all that I saw Lily once again lying on Iris’s grave.

And I took action.

I seriously don’t want four cats. But I could not help myself. I looked on Next Door, where there were kittens galore available, selected one that was my type, drove to a church parking lot where the deal was made and brought home Zelda.

I understand that she is absurdly cute. Lily took to her right away, which I suppose we all want to see as magical and so forth, but truthfully any time she gets to see any of my fosters she likes them too. Lily pretty much likes anything other than when Edsel accidentally steps on her.

I mostly kept Zelda in the kitten room so she could decompress, but she mewed to come out so I let her wander, so so far everyone has at least looked at her and there has been no incident. She seems quite taken with Lily, however, and for this I am glad. Currently she is at the vet, which I already told you but did I mention I’m lucky if I slept 45 minutes all night?

I feel so foggy. I’m Foghorn Awakehorn. It’s terrible. It’s so terrible I am making jokes like Foghorn Awakehorn, which makes no sense.

At any rate, I hope they tell me Zelda is OK, although they’ll have to give her something for her scrinchy eyes. They’re checking for peanuts or what have you in her stool. They’re checking for fleas and ticks and horseflies. They’re checking and saving. I really need to nap, I think.

Anyway, that’s the story. Oh, and I give up on selling those chairs. If anyone local wants them, come get them. If you stand me up I will find you and check your stool.

Sincerely,
June, of the four cats again Junes

40 thoughts on “Zelda Hissgerald

  1. Thanks for typing to us. It’s always enjoyable, especially when there’s a million things getting on your nerves. Have a good time at the theater tonight.

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  2. The photo of Lilly sleeping near Iris’s stone is one of the saddest things ever. You did well,Coot, in getting Zelda!

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  3. Congratulations June @ Co.! Zelda is adorable!

    There is nothing worse that laying there wishing for sleep. I hope you get a good night’s rest tonight.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  4. I laughed way too hard at the Foghorn Awakehorn joke. Maybe this is because I too am currently lacking in the sleep area. I love Zeldas little face. I just want to hug her, and squeeze her, and call her George.

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  5. I love that you found one that was your type (ie, fuzzy and gray). Zelda is adorable. I hope she gives Lily a reason to live again.
    I hope you get a good night’s sleep soon. I sleep so poorly anymore that I just get used to being chronically sleep-deprived. Not really how I wanted to spend my golden years.
    Lovely post, pretty June.

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  6. Wow – so many people I know have that issue with caffeine….I could always drink a pot of coffee before bedtime and sleep just fine. Weird I guess. I still can.

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  7. Hissgerald! Love this post and that sweet face. I had chocolate yesterday and was anticipating not being able to sleep, but I took some melatonin and it actually worked. Perhaps a nap will help you fell less foggy and you will be able to sleep well tonight.
    Tee

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  8. Loving the Starsky and Hutch humour!

    I just sold a TV on my local Facebook page. I had been putting off putting it on Marketplace for ages, as I didn’t really want someone I didn’t know coming into the house; and it suddenly occurred to me that I could just put it on the local group. Someone I know quite well get in touch and wanted to buy it straight away; and I knew that she wouldn’t mess me about, so it was really nice and straightforward.

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  9. Seeing Lily sleeping on Iris’s grave is heartbreaking. Hope sweet little Zelda becomes Lily’s new best friend as they are both beautiful girls.

    Missing a night’s sleep is the worst. May you have peaceful slumbers tonight.

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  10. I am so happy you got Lily a sweet muffin to ease her grief. Zelda is the cutest, and I’m sure she will fit right in. I’m looking forward to seeing her grow up!
    Since the menopause hit, I also too have trouble sleeping. I have resorted to taking a sleep aid, diphenhydramine (commonly known as Benadryl) about an hour before I retire, and it’s really helped. Makes me just sleepy enough that I can fall asleep. The funny thing is, to buy Benadryl is expensive (like 50 for $12.99) but diphenhydramine is 50 for $4.99! I can tell a huge difference the nights I take it versus the nights I don’t.

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    1. When I was going through my menopause-induced insomnia, I tried Benadryl but it gave me such disturbing nightmares and made me feel so foggy the next day that I decided I’d rather just lay there and twiddle my thumbs than go through that again. Now, I just eat an edible and sleep like a teenager.

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  11. It’s a testament to your character that you didn’t do to the kitten sellers what the chair people are doing to you. How many kittens are there? They all have ears right? Now, where can I find the puppies? I know I agreed to $20, but now that I’m here, you’ll pay me $50 to take one away right?

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  12. Does Kit want your chairses in her shop? Was it Kit? Or is her stuff too mid-century modern? I can’t remember and I slept all night. And you got me with “Hissgerald.”

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    1. I love that your pets have pets! Zelda is totally adorable and she and Lily look so right together. You are hilarious when sleep deprived. Hope you get some rest.

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  13. Great post. Am glad Lily has a mini-me to pal around with. Hopefully, Zelda will be a little lady and not turn into a tomboy chasing after Mils and Forest and all their shenanigans!

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  14. Best wishes for Lily’s new partner in felining, she’s adorable!
    I hear you on the whole online sales thing. I loved the men. I mean, before the husband came along too but the male buyers were my favorite. Pre-pandemic they’d walk up the driveway with cash in an outstretched hand just ready for the transaction to be over as soon as possible. Women, on the other hand, would bring their own chairs for a chat about what rainforest the tree might have been cut down from to build said particle board bookshelf and did I have the original manual? I never got to say what I wanted since they already knew where we lived and I like my tires without nails.
    Try napping outside? It’s an energy infusion.
    Lovely post, pretty June. So glad you’re back!

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  15. I am so happy about the new kitten. She is beautiful and looks like a mini Lily. This was a good decision, a loving decision. A lovely addition to your pet family.

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  16. She looks like a smiley little sweetheart. I can’t wait to hear about her adventures as she grows up. 🙂 When we got a younger grey kitten that looked like our older cat, I would joke that the youngster would watch what Socks was doing and the little cogs in his brain would turn and he’d decide, “this is what grey cats do. They sit here on hot days,” “They eat this food,” “They sit on the end of the couch in a loaf position,” “They look out this window (not that one, that’s for marmalade cats).” Now that they’re older, he does his own thing, but it was the cutest younger-sibling-esque behaviour. 🙂

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  17. I had a garage sale once. Some lady showed up, looked around, and asked: “Don’t you have a bread maker?” What is with people? If I’d had bread maker, Ida put it out for the garage sale. Pfft.
    Welcome, Zelda. Does Eds approve?

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    1. DON’T YOU HAVE A BREAD MAKER. Exactly. There is NO HUTCH.

      Eds is fine. Really, kittens here alarm no one. But he isn’t afraid of Zelda, which is good. He feared Clementine.

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  18. I had to completely stop anything with caffeine after 2:00pm. When that was suggested, I thought, really?!?! Guess what? It worked. Sigh

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    1. I was trying to remember when I drank that coffee Coke, and I think it was only noon. But who knows what kept me awake? Maybe it’s my whore moans.

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      1. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh that was good. And the kitten is adorable. Lilly looks so happy – she’s smiling.

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  19. Lily needs a Zelda!
    They are almost matchy matchy.
    The Lily picture, in the weeds, makes me want to cry for her.

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  20. June, I am so happy for you and Lily. How old is Zelda, would she have been born after Iris passed?

    I am sorry that you are sleepless in Seattle, or is it Michigan? I don’t know, my leg hurts.

    Anyway, I am also glad that you are writing to us again, even sleepy you write a good write.

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      1. I wonder about the spirit world. My brother was born shortly after an uncle passed and I remember early on that family would remark that my brother was so similar to our uncle that they joked his spirit had reincarnated.

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