It’s a new day! STFU.

Here’s part of my problem: When I open this laptop in the morning to type at you, I can see my work email, and it always, always has a ton of new emails on it. I open those, even though it’s, for example, 7:33 a.m. and I don’t have to “be” at work for at least another 57 minutes (we don’t have real start times, but the general feeling is you’ll be available around 8:30–9:00), there always seems to be something that HOOKS me in. Some question I want to answer RIGHT AWAY or something, and next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire but not June, who does not make enough to become a workaholic, which is where I’m headed.

My point is, each morning there is a message from something called Cortana or Corlandia or some such, which is I think part of having Microsoft Office. It’s helpful, actually, because it shows you how much “quiet time” you have each week (as in how much time you had to actually work at work and not answer emails or go to meetings) and it also send you a list of shit you said you’d do in emails. As in, “I’ll find out and get back to you.” I don’t know how Cornholio knows what I write, the nosy little minx, but you can check off, Yes, I did this or No, remind me again and that’s lovely.

But today, Cornwallis’s subject line read, “IT’S A NEW DAY!!!!” like it was on an upward swing with its bipolar disorder, and it rankled. Yes, I am aware that it’s a new day. I got up when I didn’t want to, drank a bunch of coffee, gave myself GERD, drove to trainer, and now have a full day of meetings and things I’m already nervous about. I’m aware that IT’S A NEW DAY!!!!, Miss Excitement.

There’s little I hate more than a positive attitude.

Speaking of which, do you know who Nick Cordero is, or was? He was an actor, he was 41, and he died horrifically of COVID. His wife, who was also an actor but also an exercise instructor and also hot, got sort of Internet famous as he was in the hospital. That’s when I started following her. She’d update us on his condition. He was in the hospital from late March, when they thought he had pneumonia, to early July, when he died.

His wife, Amanda Kloots, has one of those sunny attitudes I generally abhor. But despite this, I was on her side and was hoping things would work out, and then he died. They had a one-year-old at the time. Isn’t that awful?

Anyway, Amanda Kloots and her sister, Anna, who sort of irks me, wrote a book together about the experience. I follow both of them now (I sort of irk-watch the sister) (she lives in Paris and can’t shut up about it, and I think I’ve told you this before, but she’ll literally have pictures taken of her walking around Paris with balloons) (I can hear all five of you going, Ohhhhh. OK, sure).

THE POINT IS, they wrote a book and it came out yesterday and I’d preordered it, so there it was at my house yesterday, and I had an insane day that involved NOT being able to read a BOOK till about 9:30. So while Zelda leapt repeatedly at my EAR, which she made BLEED last night and got her first nail clip (she was surprisingly serene about that) I read that book. Before I opened it, I thought, “I’d start right in the middle of the drama and go backwards” and that’s just what they did.

Then I looked up and it was goddamn 11:00 and I was annoyed.

I find myself waiting all day to get to do something I want to do, and then that part gets here and moves too fast and then I have to go do something I don’t wanna do, like go to bed cause I have the trainer so early. Do you know what I hate, other than everything? Is people who think saying “butt crack of dawn” is funny.

So today I have work, of course, and meetings, of course, and then after work I have another movie at my old theater, so I won’t be reading my book again till 9:30 and it will happen all over again.

Do you know what I hate, other than everything? Is people who say, “Lather, rinse, repeat” when they mean they’re going to do something the same way again the next day.

First of all, my shampoo doesn’t lather, because Curly Girl method. The term “Curly Girl” irks me too, and it has become clear to me I need to go back on my antidepressant, but last time I did, I broke the longest streak I’ve ever had of not having a migraine. So now I’m afraid to take another one and instead everything is irking me, like balloons in Paris.

It’s just so affected.

OK, I’d better go. Oh, I guess if I have an adorable kitten, you’re gonna want a photo of her, aren’t you? She’s in the kitten room, eating breakfast. Hang on and I will go photograph her assy self. Did I mention she feels better from her upper respiratory thing and she is not, 100% not, a mellow kitten? They sold me a bill of goods.

^^^ This is not a kitten. I wanted to show you how I had to make the bed today, so as not to disturb Milhous.

Here is a kitten. This is a fairly awkward family photo, but she wanted to run and play and break my EAR again. What was the name of that boxer guy who bit the other guy’s ear?

Garp bit Bonkie.

OK, I gotta go. I gotta go do things until 9:30 tonight, when I can read my book.

XO,

Clawed June

42 thoughts on “It’s a new day! STFU.

  1. I feel very positive when I come in contact with a “be positive!!!” attitude—positive that I want to punch that person/meme/poster/whatever in the face.

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  2. So much attitude from Zelda in that picture! What a pose. I hope you survive her kittenhood; it’s a dangerous time for humans!

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  3. Have a great Thursday! That’s what my Cabana said to me today. Eff off.

    I have been irritated for so long I don’t remember what it feels like to not be. And I am on an antidepressant. Perhaps it is time to ask for something else.

    I would regret it, but I would allow Zelda to bite me. So cute.

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  4. I’m reading Live Your Life right now, too. It’s better written than I expected it to be, since writing isn’t her field. It was good of her to put his story out there last year when so people were hoping/assuming that younger wouldn’t get seriously ill from the disease.

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    1. It was, although I am finding a lot of repeated phrases that, had they not rushed, would have been found and corrected. I guess it’s hard for a former copy editor to read a book. (Example: in two pages, she says during the pandemic we “had nowhere to go and nothing to do” and if memory serves she also said that in the captions.)

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  5. Zelda’s pose on the chair reminds me of Paris Hilton striking a pose for a photo opportunity.

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  6. Cornholio. OMG. Can’t stop laughing. As I read your blog I wondered if you had acted on the anti-depressant, because you seemed slightly irritable. I got my answer as I read on. That kitty is
    mighty cute.

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  7. You have such a talent for making everyday life so fascinating but simultaneously so relatable that I keep wanting to exclaim, “Yes! I KNOW!!” when I read what you write.

    Floral middle name for an ear-biter: Lobelia. (Sorry, just popped into my head.)

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  8. The extra positive attitude irks me, too. A lot. And I follow her and am equally irked most days. Have you seen her mom? Equally attractive and in her 70s. Irked. But still, i’m supportive of them getting through the terrible tragedy however they want to go through it. I’d support them standing on their heads if that’s what they wanted. And I also know she grieves a lot and I’m super sad it happened to her. But it’s nice to share the irks with you.

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  9. Zelda – oh my heart! She is too adorable – I love her kind of not so perfect look! Fluffled.

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  10. I also have Microsoft Office at work and the Cantana–or whatever it is–drives me crazy. I don’t like that it knows what I am doing. Quit watching me! Plus, much of what I do is not on its radar (thank goodness) but then it looks like I am just sitting around eating bonbons all day, so in conclusion, I hate that it knows what I am doing, but also hate that it doesn’t.

    Zelda is a spit-fire! Earmuffs might work.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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    1. Corsage or whatever reminds me of Clippy that annoying paperclip that used to be in MS Office.

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  11. Garp bit Bonkie! I love that book. We had a friend who was dating a nurse and we always referred to her as “Nurse Jenny Fields.”

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  12. I would seriously hate that new day stuff. That kitten is so cute and makes me want one but I deal with 5 assorted cats daily and only 2 are mine. 3 come over to sneak in and eat

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  13. Zelda’s photo in the chair. She looks electrified . Fur straight out and glowing. So cute.

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  14. We have a “no moving the cats to make the bed” rule in our house. I swear the cats hang out on the bed all day just to prevent it being made. Sheesh

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  15. Email boundaries are hard to set and keep. I try not to attend to them in the evenings or on the weekends, but sometimes it makes things SO much easier for the next morning if I will just reply to a few the night before. I read an article on work productivity that said if you start your day answering emails, then other people (senders of emails) will set the agenda of your whole day. That ticked me off. I don’t want other people bossing my day around.
    sighhhh. I dunno the perfect solution. I’d for sure not get any work done with a baby animal at my side! So cuuuute!

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  16. I refer to it as “CGM,” which sounds less perky than “The Curly Girl Method!” So i get it.

    Zelda is SO CUTE but i can tell she’s going to be an asshole.

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  17. I didn’t sleep well last night, my cat of the chonk variety kept stretching his back leg onto my face. Then I had to change my pillow case because he sneezed on it. This morning I also made my bed around a sleeping cat. My ear is fine.

    Perhaps your doctor has a suggestion for a different type of antidepressant, it’s awful to feel irritable all of the time, I commiserate. And those people who send emails outside of office hours – gah.

    I do hope you recover well from your ear injury, although, there is an upside. Vincent Van Gogh created great art with part of his ear lobe missing.

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  18. Mike Tyson bit Evander’s ear. Hilarious post!!! Cornholio, Cornwallis, irk-watch…oh my goodness. This is not advice, but I would prefer being irked over having a migraine any day. How do you not fall asleep, because that’s why I read at night, so I can, hopefully, feel sleepy and eventually drift off only to awake at 1:40 a.m. wide awake. I understand not wanting to disturb Milhous, after all, he does need his beauty sleep. Good thing kitten is so cute.
    Tee

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  19. I love her little feisty paw forward, like Kittylina Jolie. Cornholio is from Beavus and Butthead, am I correct? I haven’t heard that in forever. I wish I had an old theatre to go to, too, I would love that! I hope you have an action packed day, read your book, fall blissfully asleep, and have an equally great day tomorrow!

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  20. It would not surprise you to know that I, too, do not find the phrase “butt crack of Dawn” the least bit amusing.

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  21. Evander Holyfield (not feld) is the one whose ear had a chunk bitten off. I can’t believe I knew that.

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  22. Cornholio. I have got to name something that.
    I also find myself hating everything, most all the time.

    Last night I gave someone a reading to connect them with spirit, and my mentor was there (this was on zoom) and how I struggled to keep this spirit guy connected to me. It was uphill all the way. No lather rinse repeat this time.
    When the reading was over my mentor said “you said ‘um’ more than 30 times.”
    I’m horrified about that. Definitely fed my “I hate everything” attitude.

    If you ever let me give you a reading, I won’t ‘um,’ I promise.

    That kitten looks fiesty, and I love that so much. Maybe she will mellow out Lilly-like in say, 32 months.

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      1. Glad to see the words this time!

        Work was indeed better when there was no way to see what was up until you actually WALKED IN THE DOOR. I work with people who are all “I NEVER check my work email on the weekend” or after hours or whatever. I simultaneously admire and hate them.

        That Nick Cordero story is indeed a tragedy. He went through so much and then died anyway. And for her to not be able to be with him throughout the whole experience has to add so much to the trauma for her. One day she posted the picture she took of him as he walked away from the car when she dropped him off at the hospital. It was heartbreaking.

        Mike Tyson. Is the ear biter. Time to rename the adorable kitten?

        My current least favorite thing people say/write: “hope this email finds you well”. Really? Because I would prefer your email not find me at all.

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