I forgot to tell you that last week, the woman who owns my house, fmr., texted. Her name is also "June" but she spells it differently. Let's say she spells it Karin. "There's a package here for you," she wrote. I'd given her my contact info just in case Steely Dan comes back, which I … Continue reading In which June remembers more stuff she didn’t tell you

Perhaps, since I haven't written in awhile, you wonder if something dramatic happened. It pains me to say nothing did. For dramatic announcements: They're where I get my strength. But I have none. The truth is, I just had stuff to do that wasn't in my regular rotation, so I got messed up. Like, the … Continue reading June returns from buying things

You know how I like it when the holidays are over? I feel the same way about my birthday. I'm glad to return back to normal. Yesterday there weren't five minutes that went by that I wasn't in some way acknowledging my bday, and even I was over it, much less anyone else. Nevertheless, I … Continue reading That’s a big five-four, good buddy

In case you haven't seen it in your local paper yet, it's my birthday. By the way, this weekend a neighbor was over, and she saw my Pop Tart on the wall. "Miss June. Is that a Pop Tart?" I assured her that it was. "You paid money for a POP TART?" Well, actually, it … Continue reading Will you still need me, will you still read me when I’m 54

I'm having this weird George Bailey gratitude for everything in my life despite the fact that things aren't going that great, which of course is also how it went for George Bailey. "I'm going to jail. Isn't it wonderful?" If you never saw It's a Wonderful Life I guess you have no idea what I'm … Continue reading Last day of 53 and June is oddly positive

Today is a giant day over at the Gardens' house o'pets: When I walked into the kitten room this morning, no one had gone anywhere but in their litter box! Remember when I used to have sex and stuff? This Saturday I have to take them in for their boosters, and I sort of thought … Continue reading Maybe everyone will walk in at once, like in a sitcom

I had to order checks, because the guy who cuts my lawn takes checks and cash only and I'm not leaving cash under the planter in this ... transitioning neighborhood. Actually, the other night I accidentally left the passenger window open all night in m'car and the car is parked right on the street, and? … Continue reading June in July

Yesterday was berserk. I had an early dentist appointment, just for my cleaning, and my poor hygienist came out with no hair. I'd had to scream over there with absolutely wet hair, and was planning to apologize for that, but instead I kept my mouth fucking shut. As my hair dried against the back of … Continue reading The one where June goes to the DMV, the dentist and the post office all in one day.

I find weekends depressing lately, and I find holidays depressing-er. I'm like Lone Wolf Woman, of the Elderly Lone Wolves, and I'm not sure when this happened but I believe it was somewhere between divorce and failed follow-up relationship. Anyway, I'm glad this long 100 Years of Solitude just-me sans-friends weekend is coming to a … Continue reading Hello from the other side

So far today, I've gotten up, gotten dressed, screamed to my trainer for 45 minutes, screamed home, cleaned up kitten poop from the damn floor, opened 47 windows (see above ref to kitten poop), mixed up kitten gruel, fed cats, fed dog, changed everyone's water, and made coffee. It's 7:30. Who am I, the Army? … Continue reading Stuff I wish I liked.

Someone once pointed out to me that most Billy Joel songs are just Billy Joel complaining about someone, and now when I listen to his songs I'm all, gol' dangit. It's true. Dag nabbit. Okay, I'm done not swearing. Anyway, Billy Joel. Everyone works too hard, or doesn't fulfill his or her potential, or is … Continue reading The one where there’s too much emphasis on Billy Joel

Who knew that taking care of six cats and a dog would be time-consuming before work? I hurriedly offer you photos of Edsel on his birthday, along with, you know, kittens. Click the title of this to see more, since the "continue reading" thing seems to be broken and THANKS, WordTypeBlogPad.

I had a weird Ned weekend. As you know, from your Big Book of June Events that's been on the counter gathering dust for months, I dated a person named Ned for several years (2012-2015). And then we broke up (9/13/15). But then we kept hanging around each other for several more years (2015-2018). At … Continue reading Kittens save the day

Last night, not one but three neighbors ended up coming over, for various reasons. Here are two of them. Neighbors, I mean. Not reasons. That's R and her husband, Mr. R. The two of them are the bomb and they're almost as good as having Peg for a neighbor. Night before last, another friend of … Continue reading June ruts

More than a month ago (good gravy), I asked you all to send in photos of your favorite mugs, and then -- really, I was gonna say, "I got busy," but how busy am I? I have the one job and the six-minute commute and no kids or spouse. What the hell was I actually … Continue reading Mugging for the camera

"My new ThreadUp is in," announced my boss, whose office is right next to my desk. What a pleasure that must be, to have to pass The Many Moods of June each time you go to your office. My boss used to get boxes of StitchFix clothes for us to vote on, but now she … Continue reading Vote on what June’s boss should wear

You know on Lifetime when people are making out and get interrupted, and then after the interruption they say, "Now, where were we?" and go back to making out? That's us after yesterday. When we were last making out, I was telling you that when I was in Michigan last week, a fact I clearly … Continue reading Chicken with Glockenspiel

I got home last night, opened my suitcase and put away only the necessary things. I know Faithful Reader Paula H&B comes home and immediately unpacks her entire bag, but FR Paula is a psychopath. Or at least a psycho walkway. Maybe not an entire path. Still. Unpacking as soon as you get home? What … Continue reading Too tacky to load

When I was in high school, I fell desperately in love for the first time. The person I loved was not remotely named Giovanni Leftwich, but years ago I put him in a random name generator to blog about him, and have called him that here ever since because it's an excellent, excellent name. GL … Continue reading June gets a gift from Things Remembered

Cardinal and I went to a bunch of secondhand stores yesterday. I totally want these. I love old religious images, for some reason. Plus, Jesus is rocking the Curly God Method. $65 apiece, tho. Who has that kinda scratch? Cardinal playing the glass eagle Elvis guitar. As you do. Yep. I posted this one on … Continue reading Weird stuff from yesterday (or, “Linenette”)