Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life

Apparently, the rhythm got June

The directions to my eyelash curler pads are so small I had to use a magnifying glass to read them. No, we're not back to first-world-problem day. Still! How annoying. I can't read anything anymore, and Ned just last night had on my reading glasses with the leopard print and sparkly sides while he perused… Continue reading Apparently, the rhythm got June

Aging ungracefully · Beauty products · June's stupid life

50 Shades of Gray Eye Pencil

I hope everyone is still in possession of their digits. For our 4th celebration, Ned and I decided to eat at this outdoor place near him, then walk to the top of a parking structure, where we'd have an unimpeded view of the fireworks. The restaurant was full, naturally, and it took 20 minutes or… Continue reading 50 Shades of Gray Eye Pencil

Aging ungracefully · Film · June's stupid life · My pets

Get up stand up (Or, Oprah’s Wong)

Every morning, Edsel is like some kind of not-bright horse at the starting gate. As soon as I wake up, it is ALL HE CAN DO, ALL HE CAN DO, to wait till I ask if he's ready to get up. "Are you ready to get up?" means food AND outside, so you can see… Continue reading Get up stand up (Or, Oprah’s Wong)

Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life

(Frutchie)

I don't think you can ask for much more, on the morning of your 49th birthday, than to step on the scale and realize you've lost a couple pounds. Given my advanced age, it probably means I have some kind of inoperable tumor, but till I find that out, yay! Weight loss! So far today… Continue reading (Frutchie)

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life

Sans pépins

Yesterday evening, my phone rang. It was Ned. "What are you doing?" he asked me. He'd been over here two hours earlier and we'd made out until he had to go. "I'm watching Andy Griffith," I told him. "Aunt Bee has just laid down the law; no more Opie going to the police station." "Well,… Continue reading Sans pépins

Aging ungracefully · Books · Friends · June's stupid life

Took a break from sculpting this David thing to say hi on m’blog

Before I begin to complain about painting my ceilings--and it's just like you're reading Michelangelo's blog--I want to talk about my poor work husband, Ryan. I've shown you his picture before and you all turned into Mrs. Robinson. Ryan (and I have no idea why I didn't just call him Alex like I do everyone… Continue reading Took a break from sculpting this David thing to say hi on m’blog

Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life · My pets

[Insert clever headline here]

I like how I get all huffy with my pets in the morning because they act hungry. "Hang ON, geez. You act like you haven't eaten in a week and a half. Edsel, get your damn nose out the bag. God." Then after I've fed them, and ravenous Iris, too, I go to the kitchen… Continue reading [Insert clever headline here]

Aging ungracefully · I am high-maintenance · June's stupid life · Not Grace Kelly

Fashion advice

I overslept, and I have these bags under my eyes that I have NEVER ONCE EVER woken up to. Aging is fantastic. My point is, I need advice. I know. Didn't I say NEVER AGAIN last time? There's always someone who's just been champing at the bit to tell me how fat I am or… Continue reading Fashion advice

Aging ungracefully · Busy busy busy busy. Thank heavens for Angie's List. · June's stupid life

In which June giggles at screws.

We were a lot cuter when the day began. I brought the dogs on the porch for a last portrait in front of the house. Ever since Talu had her incident, you have to bribe her with treats or cat intestines or the head of Peg to get her to come out anymore. It's amazing… Continue reading In which June giggles at screws.

Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life

Is it ginko baloba or ginko baluba? I just like to say “ginko.”

"This is a good blog topic," I said, for the 697th time, to someone or other at work yesterday, and now for the life of me do you think I can remember what that was? OHMYGOD I just did! Wow, that is so unlike me. And I'm not even taking ginko baloba. I was in… Continue reading Is it ginko baloba or ginko baluba? I just like to say “ginko.”

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life

Grrrrrd

First of all, sleuthy Faithful Reader Jeanie noted that the fire department that took Violet, the puppy someone left in my car two years ago, has put up new pictures of her! Here she is in October of 2012, the day I found her in my passenger seat: And here she is now, a big… Continue reading Grrrrrd

Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life

The one where June does her makeup and blogs at the same time. The one where June NEEDS BOTOX SO BAD OHMYGOD.

I went to bed kind of late last night after my office party, not that it went on forever, really, but I got home around 9:00 and then wanted to watch the rest of this old movie I recorded. Dear Mom: I figured out I could record movies on our TV. It's like we're The… Continue reading The one where June does her makeup and blogs at the same time. The one where June NEEDS BOTOX SO BAD OHMYGOD.

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · Family · Friends · Hair · June's stupid life · Marvin · My pets · Not Grace Kelly · Travel

I have the feeling Ima be just as annoying in 2015.

It's the end of the year, FYI, and time for my end-of-year veedeo, and you've been around a long time if you know why I say "veedeo." So long, 2014! You weren't all bad. (Click on the white "2014 Be Done" title at the top of the video, so it'll take you to YouTube, where… Continue reading I have the feeling Ima be just as annoying in 2015.

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life · Not Grace Kelly

June blogs while Ned boils

Ned just told me he'd poach us some eggs, and yes we ARE just getting up at 1:00 in the afternoon, and we are decadent and have I ever mentioned I've never regretted being childless? I did, however, have to get up and feed everybody, and sometimes in the morning I feel like a farmer.… Continue reading June blogs while Ned boils

Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life · Music

JuneBit Flex

My crappy things aside, the good news is that I have my Fitbit Flex on as we speak! I know, man. They had them on sale at Bed, Boys & Behinds or whatever Faithful Reader Paula's unfortunate coworker calls it, and I had a gift card from there. My old cleaning lady, Alll-eeeeeseee-see-ya, sent it… Continue reading JuneBit Flex

Aging ungracefully · Film · June doesn't know any ugly people · June's stupid life

Our nation breathes a sigh of relief

My Fitbit logged my sleep! I know! I slept 8 hours and 21 minutes and woke up twice, once because I had a dream that I slid open the shower curtain and when I did, someone grabbed my neck and strangled me. Happy. Fitbit did not say anything about that. You know, it's exciting to… Continue reading Our nation breathes a sigh of relief

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life · My pets

Marvin, please read this one. There are no feet, I promise.

I got a big kick out of everyone's comments yesterday. The poor Guy Who Sits Next To Me had to hear each new what-you'd-find-if-you-cut-me-open comment. Imagine being the poor guy who has to sit next to me all day. His wife is probably sick and tired of hearing about me already. "June again, GodDAMMIT!" Maybe… Continue reading Marvin, please read this one. There are no feet, I promise.

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · June's stupid life

Just kind of fadey

It is cold today, a fact that has haunted old Nedlard Scott, over here, all week. "Don't forget it's gonna be cold today," he said just now as he headed out. I should totally grab my shorts and halter and put it on when he gets home. "What? This is what I wore today." You… Continue reading Just kind of fadey

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · I am berserk · June's stupid life

Bonne Bell’s Tuna Surprise

I put lip gloss on the cat this weekend, which pretty much is the last butterfly in my net. But she was on my lap--and of course I mean Lily. Who else is crying out for lip gloss more than that girly cat? I have that kind that comes in a tube, where you squeeze… Continue reading Bonne Bell’s Tuna Surprise