I was tempted to title this "I need a vaCAtion from my vaCAtion!" but I was afraid there'd be that one person out there who didn't know how I abhor that sentence, and they'd be all, "Wow, June is such an asshole." Anyway, I'm back, and it's Sunday evening, and the pets and I are … Continue reading “Oh good. Someone else’s vacation pictures.”
Do you realize that Lily was gone exactly twice as long as my longest-disappearing-but-came-back cat, Confetti, who left for 26 days in 1987? Lily was gone for 52 days. FIFTY-TWO DAYS. The vet said she had one live flea on her, so dousing her with meds the second she got indoors was one of my … Continue reading Blog, she wrote
Mondays are always my ridiculous day, as I have an hour-long weekly meeting at work right from 4:00 till 5:00, and then I have my my student--for whom I have to make lesson plans--and finally my Purple Clover articles are always due on Monday. And I want you to know I did ALL THOSE THINGS, … Continue reading CU Now, Tuesday. That never gets old.
Hi, everyone!!! How's everyone's day going!!?? Sure have missed you all since yesterday!! : ) God, wouldn't it be awful if I were cheerful like that? I've always been what you might call a cranky person, and I have no problem with that. I do know some cheerful people who I like. The guy who … Continue reading June’s Cheer Blog
Every year, the president of my company, not that I own a company, takes everyone out for drinks on his birthday. I think it's a nice tradition, and I always go. This year we went to one of the new breweries, and last night I actually got to talk to him for awhile. "Is today … Continue reading God Save the June
The day Ned and I broke up, which is more than two months ago now, and I know. You're all, "Really? It's been that long already?" Yeah, why don't you go cram something in your nethers. I've felt every nuance of the pain of these last two months, but I'm super glad it went quickly … Continue reading The one where June gets mad at the British, but not Kate. Kate will always be my boo.
Last night, after I left the Tall Boy and the Naughty Professor, I came home and unpacked. I have these pretty yellow and blue glass dishes from the '40s, and I wanted to place them in the kitchen windowsill. Next to the plate of homemade wishes. I remember Marvin not allowing me to place those … Continue reading June French Presses On
I'm hoping for a light day oval pad at work, seeing as it's the day before a holiday. Now that I've said that, of course I will do nothing but run around like I work in an ER without the doctor salary. Perhaps you're wondering what old June is gonna do for Thanksgiving, seeing as … Continue reading Turkey in the straw
At work, a bunch of us are doing Dresscember, which is this challenge where you wear a dress every day in December, even on your ding-dang days off, as kind of a fundraiser to say, hey, I hate human trafficking. I HATE Uncle Jamie. Do you want to know what annoys me? Is just try … Continue reading Where June somehow mentions Princess Di, human trafficking and QVC in one post.
When we last spoke, it was Christmas--and you know how I love it, give me Christmas 40 times a year. At any rate, I was blogging at you and everything was copacetic till the phone rang. It was Ned. Dun dun DUNNNNN. I'd taken Ned off my contacts list on my iPhone, so when he … Continue reading The pot returns
You've no idea how much time I spend watching this now. I count how long she squats, how successful she is. Also, why the hell don't I have grass anymore? What are you supposed to do about that? There used to be grass back there. The vet gave me some choices, and I'm opting for … Continue reading Juno
You know what's gonna happen today? No one will comment. That always happens after a 200- or 300-comment day; it's like you're all so exhausted. "Oh my god, I just wrote 15 words to June yesterday. I'm all in." Did your grandma used to say that? "Heavens to Betsy, that party was long. I'm all … Continue reading The state of things
There are three things I wanted to tell you about: the turtle, my conversation and the intuitive. Which do you want to hear first? ...Okay. Remember last week, when a bunch of you donated to my coworker Alex so she could adopt that dog and set him up in the life to which he is … Continue reading June speaks
When I woke up yesterday, I did not know I'd be buying a car. But there it is. Now my life is officially a country song: the man I loved done left, m'dog died, and my VW Bug up and quit on me. I just need a train off in the distance and a jail … Continue reading June. No longer a Bug. Now more of a Mini. A chubby Mini.
I'm only writing at you because it's our day. A few years back, when I sat next to my boss, fmr., he and I got into one of our 408-minute discussions about Things That Didn't Matter and gee, I wonder why they split us up. That day, the discussion centered on what did Billy Jo … Continue reading It was the 3rd of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day. Volume XVIIIX934X
In the famous words of Jackie Kennedy, I had my colonoscopy. See. She didn't say those words. Cause as I pointed out on Facebook the other day, I doubt that when Jackie Kennedy showed up at HER editing job that she announced her upcoming colonoscopy. As possibly I did. To everyone. I'd have put it … Continue reading Aw, crap.
Something woke me up last night--I can't even remember what, now, but it was something I should probably be planning or preparing for, but what I did instead was roll over, thinking, "I'll worry about that when I get to it," and realized that will likely be my epitaph, which, by the way, June, nice … Continue reading I’ll worry about that when I get to it
If you're just getting back from your Thanksgiving holiday, and I say "holiday" like we're all British, there are several days of my posts for you to catch up on and I wish you luck. I wish you luck mucking through all my ins and outs. For the rest of you, who kept up with … Continue reading June wraps up her trip; bored nation rejoices
Last night, I went to bed at 10 to 8:00. That's the nice thing about migraine--you get your rest. I am in a streak, a migraine streak, since before I left for Michigan. I've had a damn migraine every day since Sunday. Welcome back to Greensboro! So, last night, I trudged home gingerly, as opposed … Continue reading June reviews her Christmas dates, and she’s plum tired. BAH.
I got my crown. Of course I took a flattering selfie at the dentist. What are you? New? I feel like I didn't look that bad in real life, but what do I know? They have a procedure there where you get the whole crown in one visit--no horrific temporary. No mold where they stick … Continue reading Royal with cheese