ADD is--oooo, shiny! · Aging ungracefully · Am British · Food and Drink · In the kitchen with June · My pets

Oh, you know. Just cats, The Simpsons, and blender-licking.

Some nights, Edsel is just too much. With the flumping dramatically off the bed whenever I move a corpuscle. Then floomping back on a minute later. With the pressing his head on my neck as hard as he can, for pets. At 4 a.m. So some nights I kick him out. Last night was one… Continue reading Oh, you know. Just cats, The Simpsons, and blender-licking.

Am British · Television

The foreign-bean section

I just now got up and fed the regularly scheduled animals, and man, that was easy. PLOOP. Throw Edsel's food in a dish. I've moved his bowls and food tin back to the kitchen. I'd had them in this room, my computer room, at the back of the house, so his crunching wouldn't scare the… Continue reading The foreign-bean section

Am British · June doesn't know any ugly people

Days I can’t complain about

I just sat down to blog at you, and sometimes when I have no pressing news, I look at my recent photos to jar my memory of what's been going on. Not in a Marvin Gaye way. We have two new guys at work who hail from Vegas. I mean, they don't bring icy pellets… Continue reading Days I can’t complain about

Am British · I hate everything · June's stupid life

Special Sunday Humiliation Edition

Ned--and right there's my problem: Ned. Ned has been out of town a lot lately, with work and family things. "I thought of asking if Nancy could stay with you, but I realize you're at cat capacity," he said, and why he thinks 11 cats counts as "capacity" is beyond me. Vagabond Ned was going… Continue reading Special Sunday Humiliation Edition

...friend/Ned · Am British · I like cats

Royal with cheese

I got my crown. Of course I took a flattering selfie at the dentist. What are you? New? I feel like I didn't look that bad in real life, but what do I know? They have a procedure there where you get the whole crown in one visit--no horrific temporary. No mold where they stick… Continue reading Royal with cheese

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · Am British · June can't keep a man

June reviews her Christmas dates, and she’s plum tired. BAH.

Last night, I went to bed at 10 to 8:00. That's the nice thing about migraine--you get your rest. I am in a streak, a migraine streak, since before I left for Michigan. I've had a damn migraine every day since Sunday. Welcome back to Greensboro! So, last night, I trudged home gingerly, as opposed… Continue reading June reviews her Christmas dates, and she’s plum tired. BAH.

Am British · Beauty products · Family · Hulk's sex life · June doesn't know any ugly people · Money · My pets

June wraps up her trip; bored nation rejoices

If you're just getting back from your Thanksgiving holiday, and I say "holiday" like we're all British, there are several days of my posts for you to catch up on and I wish you luck. I wish you luck mucking through all my ins and outs. For the rest of you, who kept up with… Continue reading June wraps up her trip; bored nation rejoices

Am British · June's stupid life

I’ll worry about that when I get to it

Something woke me up last night--I can't even remember what, now, but it was something I should probably be planning or preparing for, but what I did instead was roll over, thinking, "I'll worry about that when I get to it," and realized that will likely be my epitaph, which, by the way, June, nice… Continue reading I’ll worry about that when I get to it

...friend/Ned · Aging ungracefully · Am British · Health · I am high-maintenance · June can't keep a man

Aw, crap.

In the famous words of Jackie Kennedy, I had my colonoscopy. See. She didn't say those words. Cause as I pointed out on Facebook the other day, I doubt that when Jackie Kennedy showed up at HER editing job that she announced her upcoming colonoscopy. As possibly I did. To everyone. I'd have put it… Continue reading Aw, crap.

...friend/Ned · Am British · Eyebrows Light and Dark · June can't keep a doctor · Music

It was the 3rd of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day. Volume XVIIIX934X

I'm only writing at you because it's our day. A few years back, when I sat next to my boss, fmr., he and I got into one of our 408-minute discussions about Things That Didn't Matter and gee, I wonder why they split us up. That day, the discussion centered on what did Billy Jo… Continue reading It was the 3rd of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day. Volume XVIIIX934X

Am British · I am high-maintenance · Money

June. No longer a Bug. Now more of a Mini. A chubby Mini.

When I woke up yesterday, I did not know I'd be buying a car. But there it is. Now my life is officially a country song: the man I loved done left, m'dog died, and my VW Bug up and quit on me. I just need a train off in the distance and a jail… Continue reading June. No longer a Bug. Now more of a Mini. A chubby Mini.

Am British · At Two With Nature · June's stupid life

June speaks

There are three things I wanted to tell you about: the turtle, my conversation and the intuitive. Which do you want to hear first? ...Okay. Remember last week, when a bunch of you donated to my coworker Alex so she could adopt that dog and set him up in the life to which he is… Continue reading June speaks

Aging ungracefully · Am British · Faithful Readers · June's stupid life

The state of things

You know what's gonna happen today? No one will comment. That always happens after a 200- or 300-comment day; it's like you're all so exhausted. "Oh my god, I just wrote 15 words to June yesterday. I'm all in." Did your grandma used to say that? "Heavens to Betsy, that party was long. I'm all… Continue reading The state of things

Am British · Family · June's stupid life

Juno

You've no idea how much time I spend watching this now. I count how long she squats, how successful she is. Also, why the hell don't I have grass anymore? What are you supposed to do about that?  There used to be grass back there. The vet gave me some choices, and I'm opting for… Continue reading Juno

...friend/Ned · Am British · Friends · June's stupid life

The pot returns

When we last spoke, it was Christmas--and you know how I love it, give me Christmas 40 times a year. At any rate, I was blogging at you and everything was copacetic till the phone rang. It was Ned. Dun dun DUNNNNN. I'd taken Ned off my contacts list on my iPhone, so when he… Continue reading The pot returns

Am British · June's stupid life · My pets · Times I Amused My Own Self

Where June somehow mentions Princess Di, human trafficking and QVC in one post.

At work, a bunch of us are doing Dresscember, which is this challenge where you wear a dress every day in December, even on your ding-dang days off, as kind of a fundraiser to say, hey, I hate human trafficking. I HATE Uncle Jamie. Do you want to know what annoys me? Is just try… Continue reading Where June somehow mentions Princess Di, human trafficking and QVC in one post.

Am British · Family · June's stupid life

Turkey in the straw

I'm hoping for a light day oval pad at work, seeing as it's the day before a holiday. Now that I've said that, of course I will do nothing but run around like I work in an ER without the doctor salary. Perhaps you're wondering what old June is gonna do for Thanksgiving, seeing as… Continue reading Turkey in the straw

Aging ungracefully · Am British · Friends · June's stupid life

June French Presses On

Last night, after I left the Tall Boy and the Naughty Professor, I came home and unpacked. I have these pretty yellow and blue glass dishes from the '40s, and I wanted to place them in the kitchen windowsill. Next to the plate of homemade wishes. I remember Marvin not allowing me to place those… Continue reading June French Presses On

Am British · Friends · June's stupid life

The one where June gets mad at the British, but not Kate. Kate will always be my boo.

The day Ned and I broke up, which is more than two months ago now, and I know. You're all, "Really? It's been that long already?" Yeah, why don't you go cram something in your nethers. I've felt every nuance of the pain of these last two months, but I'm super glad it went quickly… Continue reading The one where June gets mad at the British, but not Kate. Kate will always be my boo.

Am British · June's stupid life

God Save the June

Every year, the president of my company, not that I own a company, takes everyone out for drinks on his birthday. I think it's a nice tradition, and I always go. This year we went to one of the new breweries, and last night I actually got to talk to him for awhile. "Is today… Continue reading God Save the June