“June,” “May” We Hear About Your “April” Weekend? Otherwise We’ll “March.”

I'll wait till you can stop slapping your knee over that headline. Let's see. What the hell did I do this weekend while you were here in my computer in suspended animation? Friday. On Friday afternoon, I got an Amazon delivery at work. "I need a blog," the mailroom guy always says to me, as … Continue reading “June,” “May” We Hear About Your “April” Weekend? Otherwise We’ll “March.”

Your number-one source for kitten pics and poop stories

Yesterday morning, I headed to the break room at work to put hot water in my oatmeal, like a fairly good person. When I got in there, there was a cupcake holder. Well. They were FUNFETTI cupcakes. I'm fun. I'm fetti. So, what oatmeal? What flax? There was FUNFETTI to be had. So I ate … Continue reading Your number-one source for kitten pics and poop stories

I ran out of Ritalin. You can totally tell.

I did something I wish I hadn't. I agreed via email, while at my regularly scheduled job, to take on a freelance project. I didn't pay enough attention to the deets and dear June, please say deets, because please see above ref to regularly scheduled job and distracted. They offered me a flat rate, and … Continue reading I ran out of Ritalin. You can totally tell.

Certain the neighbors enjoy me blasting Tom Petty at 7:53 a.m.

Under last night's waxing gibbous, I found myself at the Full Moon Oyster Bar, in the company of a man. A gentleman caller. A swain. It was not our first date. I kind of hope it will not be our last. Also, I did not eat any oysters. You know, I used to. Back in … Continue reading Certain the neighbors enjoy me blasting Tom Petty at 7:53 a.m.

It was so delicious I decided to listen to it.

I went outside with Edsel just now, and it was such a cool breezy morning that I decided to take pictures. I realize that made no sense. "It was so delicious I decided to listen to it." "You should have heard how it smelled." No, I HAVEN'T been smoking the pot. What's WRONG with you? … Continue reading It was so delicious I decided to listen to it.

When a broken purse is the least of your woes

Yesterday was a ridiculous day, from my series of June's Ridiculous Days. The newsletter went out at work yesterday, and I am the editor of it, and newsletter day is always a bit chaotic. Then, at lunch, I screamed home and finished that perpetual calendar I've been droning on about all week. I finished it, … Continue reading When a broken purse is the least of your woes

The one where June never shuts up. Yeah, that one. This one time.

I have a story that's hilarious, or at least it would be when I told it, with my fine storytelling skills, and hey, modesty. But as I always do before I tell someone else's story, I asked first if it would be okay to tell, and it turns out it's not okay to tell, which … Continue reading The one where June never shuts up. Yeah, that one. This one time.