Whole lotta leopard

What I admire about Edsel is his unencumbered ability to release 20 seconds of stepped-on-a-duck-sounding gas with nary a flinch. I have today off, and yet I am still here, in my leopard footie pajamas, talking to you. I'm supposed to be sitting around thinking about Martin Luther King. Who was something of a philanderer … Continue reading Whole lotta leopard

World’s Worst Person Gets Her Nails Done

People at work have been talking about a new manicure procedure called SOS or S&M or whatever, and apparently it's powder they dip your nails in to color them. Somehow this creates a manicure that keeps going for two weeks like a 17-year-old boy but allegedly isn't as terrible for you as a gel manicure. … Continue reading World’s Worst Person Gets Her Nails Done

Drivin’ all the old men crazy.

A good part about how they've put me on multiple accounts at work is that I've gotten to know more coworkers who aren't Griff. Also, I've gotten to know people I've worked with all these years, but rarely talked to because we weren't on the same account. It can get (ready?) siloed at work. One … Continue reading Drivin’ all the old men crazy.

June does her makeup and talks to you. Yes, again.

It will be 11 years Friday that I've done this dang...website. Other than June's Live Sex Tape, I've pretty much done it all on this thing. [Considers June's Live Sex Tape.] [Step one: Get sex life.] When we left each other yesterday, dabbing at our eyes the annoying way the Real Housewives do: dab, dab … Continue reading June does her makeup and talks to you. Yes, again.

June wraps up her trip; bored nation rejoices

If you're just getting back from your Thanksgiving holiday, and I say "holiday" like we're all British, there are several days of my posts for you to catch up on and I wish you luck. I wish you luck mucking through all my ins and outs. For the rest of you, who kept up with … Continue reading June wraps up her trip; bored nation rejoices

The one where June never shuts up. Yeah, that one. This one time.

I have a story that's hilarious, or at least it would be when I told it, with my fine storytelling skills, and hey, modesty. But as I always do before I tell someone else's story, I asked first if it would be okay to tell, and it turns out it's not okay to tell, which … Continue reading The one where June never shuts up. Yeah, that one. This one time.

Click here. You won’t believe what happens next.

The other day, I was doing some crucial cosmetics shopping with my equally deep friend Alex from work. (I ended up getting a color-correcting stick that makes me look like Kabuki theater, and a brown lipstick I thought would be delightfully nude but instead looks like I'm pooping straight out my mouth.) I had to … Continue reading Click here. You won’t believe what happens next.