I have many topics, the fresh topics of our day, to discuss with you, and all of them are dull. Read on! Just so I won't forget them, because you know how I am, they are: Work My eyesight My winter jackets Turning into my grandmother, Vol. XIV Did I not TELL you they were … Continue reading For you, June, are a slob
This will surely make the more nervous of you, you know, nervouser, but I can only write you for a few minutes, as I have the jury duty and need to be downtown by 8:15, which, WHAT THE HELL, judicial system? Annoy. There is, in fact, a sort of major trial starting today in my … Continue reading Mum-y blogger
Yesterday, after I wrote you about what happened with Edsel, I gave myself a big headache, and most of my big-list plans went undone. I DID get all my laundry washed and dried, even the hand-washables, which was no small feat. There's Fang and Blu, making a cameo. I've also, these days off, read two … Continue reading Mygoulash Hexaglass
Yesterday, I got up early to go to the allergy doctor. I hurried around, and tore over there to be on time, and when I got there, right at 8:00? They were closed. I walked up to the door and knocked. No lights on. They'd given me paperwork, so I opened it. "8:00," it read. … Continue reading Facing June Addiction
My friend at work, The Poet, has a birthday on December 31. Which is sort of cool in every way, except for the part where no one cares about you on your birthday. EXCEPT ME. I DID. But then I got my mysterious throat illness, and I was willing to still take The Poet out, … Continue reading WHAT?
I hate brunch. There's the part where you're expected to get up, WITH NO FOOD OR COFFEE IN YOU, and head to some crowded restaurant, then wait in a lobby for a hundred minutes. Then always--ALWAYS!!--some asshole party of 10 is just before you, because hey, what's more fun than a huge GROUP going to … Continue reading Oh, good. I get to read about someone’s trip.
This is my favorite time of year, because, for example, this is the view out my kitchen window. Every hour I spend dicing and sauteing, I see this. I also have a view of this: I accidentally typed "dicking" instead of "dicing," which is more like it. Although I never do that anymore, either. Speaking … Continue reading 835 Glorious Words
Dis offend Edzul dellikit sensibilitys. We had something of a storm. It's not so much how many inches we got, which is the story of MY life, but rather that after it snowed, it then hailed, hailed, the gang was all here, and sleeted, and generally the weather was a dick. We didn't have work … Continue reading The one where it snows in North Carolina. EVERYBODY PANIC!
Yesterday was very international. We had a lunch made for us by the Spanish team that was delicious. Then last night, Fleeta and I went to the free fitness thing downtown, where they had Masala Bhangra. I'd never heard of it, either, and dearly wished for Indian food once they said it, as well. We're … Continue reading Indian June
Your suggestions are rolling in, not literally because how could a suggestion literally roll in, of which posts I should put in a book. They've ranged from you sending 20 from one month (Slutty Pancakes) to just one or two. This is great! Now I have to go read them and be all judge-y about … Continue reading What in the world
The last time I read Forever by Judy Blume, I was in 6th grade and owned a shockingly complete collection of Bonne Bell Lip Smackers, the best being--if you ask me--Piece of Cake, which tasted like wedding cake. If I ever get married again, I am handing those out as party favors. Now that I'm … Continue reading Mince Words with Joooon: Forver by Judy Blume
Don't forget that tonight, 7 p.m. Eastern time, we will meet back here to discuss the hard-hitting tome Forever, by Judy Blume. Bring dirty-sounding '70s food: Tang, ManHandler soup, and maybe some Freshen-Up gum.
The Sunday New York Times came today with no wedding section, which is my favorite part. "No, I didn't read the piece on China's faceless masses. I was checking out the lingerie ads." That's from the movie Manhattan, and shut up. We have a no-bashing-Woody rule here at this blog. The point is, disappointed. "Maybe … Continue reading Meet Ralph
Is everyone back now? Are you all done ignoring me? Just another reason for me to hate the holidays: Everyone leaves. I blog on and on: Here's what I got for Christmas! Hey, Dick Clark and me, throwing down! Me: Christmas, New Year's Eve, blah! Celebrate good times, come on! [insert picture, insert another picture] … Continue reading Tallulah Bright and Dark
Mondays are always my ridiculous day, as I have an hour-long weekly meeting at work right from 4:00 till 5:00, and then I have my my student--for whom I have to make lesson plans--and finally my Purple Clover articles are always due on Monday. And I want you to know I did ALL THOSE THINGS, … Continue reading CU Now, Tuesday. That never gets old.
Before I begin to complain about painting my ceilings--and it's just like you're reading Michelangelo's blog--I want to talk about my poor work husband, Ryan. I've shown you his picture before and you all turned into Mrs. Robinson. Ryan (and I have no idea why I didn't just call him Alex like I do everyone … Continue reading Took a break from sculpting this David thing to say hi on m’blog
This weekend, Ned and I did absolutely nothing to fix my house up, which we had said we would do every weekend, but basically we both suck. We were planning to paint my fence yesterday, as though we were Tom Sawyer, but we did not because it was raining this teensy incessant nagging drizzle, not … Continue reading The one where my dogs deceive me. MY OWN DOGS.
I finally slept last night, thank GOD. You have no idea how grateful you can be for the mere act of sleeping, if you haven't slept. Or maybe you do. I note a lot of middle-of-the-night-I'm-not-sleeping posts on Facebook. Is this a getting-old thing? When I was a kid, I spent every Friday night at … Continue reading The somnolent powers of Ned
I am ridiculous. Hello, everyone. It's Monday. and my blown-out hair is starting to look a little ragged. The whole all-straight look is so foreign to my locks, it's like it's fighting to make its wavy self known again. So piece by piece, the straight parts rebel and kink. It's like how the smart German … Continue reading Who’s this “Karen”?
See what I did, there? My roots and I waited till Saturday, when no one would read this, to write my "Here's everything I said I'd eventually come back and blog about" post. Have you actually been sitting here for two months, growing cobwebs--making this literally a website--with the Match Game thinking music in your … Continue reading Hi! Hi! Bye Bye, Pie!