I feel like no one reads me anymore.
I mean, “no one” is a stretch, but there are definitely fewer people around here, at least comment-wise. I know back in this not-blog’s heyday, like 2011-2012-ish, I’d get hundreds of comments, and around 2,000 readers a day.
But then sitemeter died, and we in the not-blogging world were all left bereft, because that thing was excellent. It told you how many people were on right then, it used individual IP addresses with cities, so I saw when Ned’s ex-girlfriend started reading me. I saw when NED was reading me.
It was a great stalking-who-stalks-me technique. But it died. And I’ve been without sitemeter for at least a year.
Then this year I switched over to WordPress, PressingWords, and the meter is either a lot more sensitive (like, if you look at me twice in one day, it knows your IP address and won’t count you as two readers) or else no one likes me anymore.
What do you think it is? Is it that no one blogs anymore, so they don’t come over here in hopes I come over there? Is it boring that I’m single and not all that ready to mingle? What gives, do you think?
This also leads me to to ask this question: If you know me in real life, leave a comment today. I mean, really, leave a comment. You don’t have to leave an email address to leave a comment even though it says to.
I was wondering who, in real life, still reads me. Because when you write about your everyday life every day, it can be awkward with people who really know you.
Like, you meet up with a person and start telling one of your better stories, and you get the sense they want you to wrap it up because they’ve already read this. “Oh, did you read about this already?”
But see, how do you know? You can’t ask every person, “Do you read my stupid blog?” cause that seems like pressure.
But then, like, you’re talking to your grandmother or someone and they say, “Oh, you and Ned broke up?”
Or, “You have a dog?”
And it’s like, DO YOU NEVER READ ME OH MY GOD.
So, two things: Why is my blog boring now, or else why are my numbers down, and (2), if you know me, please really leave me a comment today. You don’t have to say your name, just how we know each other.
“We had a one-night-stand at Michigan State, June.” That sort of thing.
Meanwhile. And don’t you hate people who say, “Meanwhile, back at the ranch.” Oh, har har har. HARRRRR de HAR.
Meanwhile, back at my ranch-style house…I present you with Mega Melon. My lipstick, and also m’boobs.
I was taking a selfie, when a little orange sprite caught my eye. She really is a little sprite. So full of the vim. Look at her already learning how to reject my advances.
I am the Harvey Weinstein of kitten.
And because we don’t talk about animals enough here, someone else brought her dog to work. Nothing says “dedicated to her work June” more than someone trotting an animal past me.
BLUE EYE AND BROWN EYE!!!
I love you so BAD.
Also, Faithful Reader BamaCarol sent me a leopard coat that happened to be on June Gardens’ Amazon Wishlist! Oh my god, I was so excited. I didn’t think anyone would actually GET it for me. It was a pipe dream! I was dreaming of pipes.
I better go. Last night, I closed myself in the bedroom to do my freelance work and hang with Jodie Foster, and maybe an hour in I thought, Hey, where IS that kitten, anyway?
She’d slipped under the door again. Was hanging with the big pets. I WAS IN THERE ALONE.
Talk to you later. And don’t forget to comment if you actually know me.
Really, how well can you know another person?