A few days ago, in the labyrinth of my comments, Faithful Reader Jan made the fateful mistake of telling us all that she used to write poetry about her boyfriends when she was sad in high school. I told Jan she was banned from my blog until she came up with said poetry. You should … Continue reading HATE LOST LOVES. Also? I discuss Newt. As always.
Last night I ended up at a dark tiny dive bar with a...friend (June. Trying to be subtle since 2012.) (June. Good at being subtle since never.) and I would just like to mention I like dark tiny dive bars. I always have. And I'd never been to this one but it was cool. Except … Continue reading There are many cats pics in this one, Hulk! No, no, really, you’re welcome.
Can't talk long--I have to get to the gym. I know. You guys have spoken to me many times about my exercise bulimia. I mean, I just SAID I was going to the gym...never. In five years of writing this blog. I did belong to a gym in LA, but you had to in order … Continue reading June Gardens, gym rat
I just woke up. I know. What am I, 14? I went out last night and partayyed with my ...friend. And who is getting tired of having to call him my dot dot dot friend? Here is my dot dot dot friend pouring honey in his tea last night. I know! Raise the roof! … Continue reading Hold on loosely
My favorite thing last night was when Angelina Jolie struck that stupid pose with her leg out, and when the writers of The Descendants came on stage, the one guy posed just like her. heeeee! Do you have any idea how hard it is to take a picture of your own leg? Oh look. I … Continue reading The Blogist
Girl, I got no time to talk today. I am meeting Dot Dot Dot Friend, and I like how that's become his name, for lunch at noon, and it's 10:23 and guess who just woke up 23 minutes ago? So I have to shower and put makeup on and dry my hair, which I assure … Continue reading Rain hair
In the past 24 hours, Iris slept on my head, Edsel bit me, and poor Davy Jones died. Who gets his locker? I liked Davy Jones. I mean, didn't we all? And one of my fancy LA friends just told a story about him, on Facebook, and the gist of it is he was a … Continue reading Catch you on the flip side, Davy. Oh. Also? Tallulalina Jowlie.
I gots no time to gab today. I just woke up (don't ask) (okay, I was out late with ...friend.) and now I have to scream off to Raleigh to get my hairs done at 12:30. The only way I knew there were storms was because I just read the comments from last night. Everyone … Continue reading Madre de Dios
I had photos to show you today, of ...friend's cat, who is cute and who hates me. Which of course has nothing to do with the way I stampeded in and said, "HI KITTY! I LOOOOOVE YOU, KITTY! COME SEE ME!" Which by the way is the ultimate technique to win over a cat. I … Continue reading June likes cats. Story at 11.
In my quest to just show you pictures from my week in order to save time blogging so I can get my 394949339 pages of editing work done, I, you know, took a lot of pictures. Then this morning I went to upload them and could not find them and just spent 35 minutes with … Continue reading June and Silent Blog Strike Back
Went to the BookUp again last night. May or may not have gone with ...friend. May or may not have stayed out too late. May or may not have LOOMING DEADLINE. This may or may not be my pal Jo at said BookUp. Who needs to stop saying "may or may not" about everything? May … Continue reading Okay, SERIOUSLY no time today
Your comments yesterday about your least-favorite songs were the funniest ever. I was in tears laughing. Everyone go read yesterday's comments. I'd cull them, and you know how I like to use the word "cull," but my deadline IS TODAY and I have to scream on here, write something, GO MEDITATE AND BE SERENE, and … Continue reading Hot air
Sometimes you're hard-pressed to even begin to describe what you did the night before. However, I will try. ...Friend and I got up with Dick Whitman and my pal Jo, in order that perhaps maybe I could fix up my pal Jo with the Dick Whitman. I thought of it all by myself at the … Continue reading Pink beach. April wine. LaUral humps a puppet.
I gots no idea what Ima blog about today. Did you ever try to blog every single day of your life? Because sometimes it's hard. You got nuthin'. Yesterday ...friend and I went to a movie (we saw Chico and Rita. We totally got to see cartoon sex.) then we had brunch, and there was … Continue reading In which June whips out the Johnson
Your gal, June, here, just woke up. Am I 17? I was out till quite late with ...friend, and let's discuss what a grownup I am. I mean other than the part where I got home after 2:00 and just woke up. I won't go into details, but let's just say I had issues with … Continue reading In which June becomes an adult. hah!
The Snowflake children down the street got a new puppy. I know. And it's a chihuahua, so you know it will bite someone just like Snowflake did. It's kind of cute, though, in an I'm-a-chihuahua kind of way. June. Repulsing everyone who loves their stupid chihuahua since 2012. And in case you just got here, … Continue reading June tries to read the waffle iron
"You know there's a Hall and Oates hotline," ...friend told me, like it was just common knowledge and I was the last to know. And no, I don't know what we were discussing beforehand that led to this riveting disclosure. And who cares? THERE'S A HALL AND OATES HOTLINE? You make my dreams come true! … Continue reading Say it isn’t so
I had a busy weekend. The end. Wouldn't that be irritating? If I just said that and hit "post"? I think of all kinds of ways to irritate y'all and then I just go ahead and be my regular self and irritate you anyway. On Friday, I had to tell my temporary workplace "I need … Continue reading My riveting weekend. Written by June Gardens. Spent with June Gardens. Because I’m stuck here inside my own self. Which is often mortifying.
So I was planning to have a delightful weekend. Yes, I was. On Friday I was going out with ...friend, and on Saturday after a quick trip to the vet, Tallulah and I were going to the farm to hang out with Chris and Lilly, then I was going to meet ...friend's best friend, who … Continue reading Drama in the LBC.
I forgot to tell you something about my weekend. I KNOW. How many more ding-dang things are there to TELL about a 48-hour span? On Friday night (and I know you're worried Ima say "Friday" 600 times like I did on my last post), when ...friend and I went to First Friday (I said it … Continue reading In which …friend is woefully straight