A. I’m dyeing my roots. B. My mouse battery is very low. This means (I’m not gonna say the struggle is real. If you hear me saying the struggle is real, I want you to impale me with 10 mouses) THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL even getting on here, and it took ages, and NOW I …

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Today, I got up, took my stupid Prilosec and started my half-hour countdown, fed everyone (I let Iris be a bad girl today, because Steely Dan hadn’t deigned to come home yet after a night out, so Iris got to eat up at SD’s dish like a rebel. Then, of course, SD let himself in …

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I did many things this weekend, but one thing I did not do was much sleeping. Internet: Why, Joon? Joon: Noneya, Internet. On Friday afternoon, I was toiling at m’desk when the phone rang. “WHAT.” I thought, as I am cheerful and elegant about being interrupted when in a flow. It was my doctor’s office. …

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I’m blogging (not blogging) at you while I’m drying my hair with my new Laila Ali ionic bonnet dryer! Oh, June, will your riveting ionic adventures never end? As you know, I have hair. And my choices before work are: run some kind of water through it and look vaguely okay, if looking like King …

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Categories: Hair

I hate brunch. There's the part where you're expected to get up, WITH NO FOOD OR COFFEE IN YOU, and head to some crowded restaurant, then wait in a lobby for a hundred minutes. Then always–ALWAYS!!–some asshole party of 10 is just before you, because hey, what's more fun than a huge GROUP going to …

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Would you like to know what annoys me? "Wait. June. Something annoys you?" When people use trite phrases. For example, remember in The Wizard of Oz, when they said, "Lions and tigers and bears–oh, my!" It bugs me when people paraphrase that. Linens and teacups and bags–oh, my! Hail and winds and rain–oh, my! And …

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Yes, I'm posting on Saturday. Hello! {hello hello hello hello} Echo! {echo echo echo echo} I don't know why I bother. But hello, one and a half people who are homebound for whatever reason. I guess now that it's half an hour away, I can tell you that I am supposed to be in New …

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