On Friday at work, they let us leave at 3:00, a delightful habit they've gotten into before any holiday weekends. I suppose it's for normal people with families who want to get on the road to the beach, or whatever normal people do. What do the normal folk do? ...I think craft. Seems like they… Continue reading On the third day, she “Rose” again
Category: I am a pleasure of life
Give June a doll box from 1972, and you’ve given her the world
I just heard myself tell the dog, "I just washed that floor," as he skidded in with muddy paws, and now I have officially become my mother. Then I realized that no, I actually did not wash this floor this weekend, making me officially my grandmother when the dementia set in. I did wash a… Continue reading Give June a doll box from 1972, and you’ve given her the world
Does my new computer make my arse look big? Are you sick of that joke yet?
This is my inaugural post on my new computer. Please note I received said new computer back in December, way back then, but it's been Sisyphean hell trying to migrate all my old info into the current day. I worked harder on getting to the present day than that guy in Back to the Future.… Continue reading Does my new computer make my arse look big? Are you sick of that joke yet?
LDV
I have a new thing that bugs me: Women using that video-making feature where their eyes are huge, and their lips are gigantic, and their voices are distorted. Perhaps you're hilarious, person making a video while sitting in a car, which, woooo! How could you NOT be, with that original venue? But I see that… Continue reading LDV
Dancing queen. Old and mean, only 52.
Yesterday at lunchtime, I stampeded across town to the damn dance store, which is its official name. Greensboro's Damn Dance Store! We're open stupid times! When I got there, I realized I'd tensed up, in the worry that they'd be closed Mondays or some other similar irritating thing. But they were not! There they were,… Continue reading Dancing queen. Old and mean, only 52.
Oh, good. June.
Heyyyyy. [Walks in, throws coat on your kitchen chair. Opens your cookie jar.] Goddammit, are these raisin? I'm tryina think of what I have to tell you, and it's not much, so read on, won't you? We had drama in the comments yesterday, which amuuuuused me, because when I wrote yesterday's brief post about my… Continue reading Oh, good. June.
Certain the neighbors enjoy me blasting Tom Petty at 7:53 a.m.
Under last night's waxing gibbous, I found myself at the Full Moon Oyster Bar, in the company of a man. A gentleman caller. A swain. It was not our first date. I kind of hope it will not be our last. Also, I did not eat any oysters. You know, I used to. Back in… Continue reading Certain the neighbors enjoy me blasting Tom Petty at 7:53 a.m.
Be happy
I just took my last prednisone that I was prescribed in order to try to break up my current cycle of migraines, and what's more interesting than hearing about someone's latest round of meds? Anyway, maybe a month ago, the doctor also put me back on Topamax for migraine, June says, continuing her riveting diatribe… Continue reading Be happy
Two ADDs walk into a bar
You know what's annoying about autumn? "It's not autumn yet, June." You know what's annoying about you? What's annoying about autumn is that, at least here, you wake up one day and it's sunny and 85 degrees, and then you wake up the next day and it's cold and raining your ass, as my old… Continue reading Two ADDs walk into a bar
You’re never too old for a fur ball.
I'm trying to think of what happened this weekend, but it's such a haze, what with the heroin and all. Or, alternatively, 18 bottles of fizzy strawberry water. Let's see. On Friday, I took myself for a pedicure, and I know. I'm living pretty high on the hog these days. I was supposed to have… Continue reading You’re never too old for a fur ball.
June Prissys her freelance. Also, am I your secret?
I just noticed how much Edsel anticipates my every move in the morning. First he tears down the hall ahead of me to the bathroom, which by the way is the size of a closet, but yet he must stuff his yellow arse in there with me each morning. And to think there used to… Continue reading June Prissys her freelance. Also, am I your secret?
Grace Kelly Bluebook
Late last week, I finished a freelance project, and now tonight I'm going to get another big one, which is what she said. So, last night, after a long day in seventh grade, apparently, I celebrated my last night of freedom by going to the movies. I really know how to throw down. I saw… Continue reading Grace Kelly Bluebook
Spa Day
Thursday, August 3, 2017 6:30 a.m.: Alarm goes off, hit snooze. 6:39: Alarm goes off, hit snooze. 6:48: " 6:57: "..... 7:33: OH MY GOD. SERIOUSLY? Scream out of bed, dash to shower. Wash hair. We curly people don't wash our hair every day. Many of us have a concoction we create in dollar spray… Continue reading Spa Day
When a broken purse is the least of your woes
Yesterday was a ridiculous day, from my series of June's Ridiculous Days. The newsletter went out at work yesterday, and I am the editor of it, and newsletter day is always a bit chaotic. Then, at lunch, I screamed home and finished that perpetual calendar I've been droning on about all week. I finished it,… Continue reading When a broken purse is the least of your woes
June sends loving thoughts to people who hold up the line
Last night I had a ridiculous dream. (Oh, good. Someone's gonna describe their dream.) I dreamt I met a man and didn't care for him at first, so when we first were introduced, I gave him my most sarcastic of smiles. But then, somehow, I realized I really liked him, so then I had to… Continue reading June sends loving thoughts to people who hold up the line
Chocolate > labs
Today, I was supposed to go to work having fasted, and have blood drawn for our health insurance thing at work. Then 40 minutes later, I was supposed to go to my new doctor and have even more blood drawn for my initial visit with him in a week, unless of course he dies or… Continue reading Chocolate > labs
We never see Fred Flintstone getting ON the dinosaur, just sliding off at 5:00 on the dot.
What are your feelings about being on time for work? Faithful Reader Paula H&B has been a, you know, faithful reader for something like 92 years. She might be the funniest commentor, and don't get mad at me cause you know she's funny. The point is, on social media, she's been complaining because a coworker… Continue reading We never see Fred Flintstone getting ON the dinosaur, just sliding off at 5:00 on the dot.
Lime-a-Ritas with Laura Ingalls Wilder
I hate podcasts. I'm SORRY. I'm sure your sister's really is magnificent. I'm sure if I just tried [insert fucking podcast here]...or gave a listen to...or have I heard...? Yeah, no. I'm not going to like any of those, either. And look, I WANT to like them. I'd love another way to waste time; are… Continue reading Lime-a-Ritas with Laura Ingalls Wilder
Beelzebub has a devil cat put aside for me
In case you've been on pins and also the needles re my sore throat, I seem to have rallied. Because I'm tough. But I'm fair. Also, yesterday I started a new headache study, which I can tell you very little about, so you can ask all the goddamn questions you want, but I'm not gonna… Continue reading Beelzebub has a devil cat put aside for me
Save June
Yesterday was a queer day. Did you ever see The Color Purple, when Celie says that about the weather? "It was a queer day." I always liked that line. When I was a kid, the word "queer" was all over the book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and so one afternoon I told my babysitter she… Continue reading Save June
