June loses 10 lbs., gains insufferable personality

Two-and-a-half months I been a-dietin’, and I have no idea why I just launched into Junior Sample–speak just now, especially considering my new svelteness. Because as of this week, I have officially lost 10 pounds on said a-diet. Continue reading “June loses 10 lbs., gains insufferable personality”

You’re never too old for a fur ball.

I’m trying to think of what happened this weekend, but it’s such a haze, what with the heroin and all. Or, alternatively, 18 bottles of fizzy strawberry water.

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I’m OBSESSED.

Continue reading “You’re never too old for a fur ball.”

It was so delicious I decided to listen to it.

I went outside with Edsel just now, and it was such a cool breezy morning that I decided to take pictures. I realize that made no sense. Continue reading “It was so delicious I decided to listen to it.”

Back When I Was Fat. *A nostalgic look at day before yesterday.

Today my BMI fell back into the normal range. BOOM. Okay, it was because I adjusted the scale. BUT STILL.  Continue reading “Back When I Was Fat. *A nostalgic look at day before yesterday.”

When a broken purse is the least of your woes

Yesterday was a ridiculous day, from my series of June’s Ridiculous Days. Continue reading “When a broken purse is the least of your woes”

The one where June never shuts up. Yeah, that one. This one time.

I have a story that’s hilarious, or at least it would be when I told it, with my fine storytelling skills, and hey, modesty. Continue reading “The one where June never shuts up. Yeah, that one. This one time.”

Mr. Greensboro

Yesterday was a harrowing workday, which resulted in my shoulders up right on my ears pretty much for 8 hours. When I was done with my GODDAMN DAY, I dearly wanted a drink. I never drink during the week now, part of my weight loss plan that’s resulted in precisely no weight loss. Continue reading “Mr. Greensboro”

If only June would talk about doorknobs more

I noticed we weren’t guilted, yesterday, about celebrating Father’s Day on Facebook, as opposed to Mother’s Day. On that day, for every funny, cute or whatever mention someone had of his or her mom, there’d be a person kvetching that they HATE Mother’s Day, they can’t STAND to see other people celebrating it because of their personal WOES.

Lemme tell you something [pulls chair closer] [gestures drunkenly with cigarette]. Continue reading “If only June would talk about doorknobs more”

Let me call you Megan, I’m in love with you.

This morning, I woke up at Ned’s. Continue reading “Let me call you Megan, I’m in love with you.”