It's Friday night. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wooo! Partayyy! Back that ass up! I'm going to get groceries. You know, in the old days, back when I was still trolling for men, this would be an hour or two before I'd start getting ready to go out. I'd get me some shower wine (that first glass you drink… Continue reading Life in the Express Lane
Category: Marvin
Exercise? Perhaps I Could Exercise Restraint
I got out of work at noon today, and my idea was that I'd get right on that treadmill as soon as I got home. But of course I was STARVING when I got home, having eaten a banana and a piece of string cheese all day. Really, I need to try harder at the… Continue reading Exercise? Perhaps I Could Exercise Restraint
I Can’t Believe it’s Yoga
Namaste. I just did my yoga DVD. Can you tell? "Namaste" is some yoga word, which roughly translates to "How's it hangin'?" We had free yoga at noon at my old workplace in LA and I loved it. Really, the more I talk about my old job in LA, the more I wonder why on… Continue reading I Can’t Believe it’s Yoga
The Storm that ROCKED North Carolina
You guys. Seriously. They are predicting (don't get scared) one to maybe even TWO inches of snow tomorrow! Woah. Laura Ingalls Wilder and her long winter got nothing on this. They are calling it a winter storm warning. An INCH of snow, folks. The news is saying they have their backup generators ready. The stores… Continue reading The Storm that ROCKED North Carolina
California Rolls on my Waistline
Marvin Gardensalad and I just saw two deer right down the street from us! Oh! They were so pretty. I rolled down the window and said hello and told them I loved them very much. They seemed indifferent to my affections. Now I am worried that they are cold. Marvin said I could knit them… Continue reading California Rolls on my Waistline
Chocolate by Death
Once summer, my mother and I were at a fair. There was some sort of fund raiser -- I forget now what cause it was -- and for ten dollars you could hold a baby lion or tiger, and have your picture taken with it. I wanted to go so bad, and my mother said… Continue reading Chocolate by Death
Half Time
So, my book came today. It is a book on running a half-marathon, which by the way I bought on Amazon through dcrmom's blog. Apparently, if you go to her blog and click the Amazon ad, she gets money for it. It was no skin off my nose, which is a really disgusting phrase, to… Continue reading Half Time
Waffling
I'm sitting here in my pink turtleneck and my dark blue sweatpants, which is a delightful combination and I don't look at all like I should be talking to myself and gesturing wildly while I push my shopping cart filled with old baby shoes and cat litter or anything. While changing clothes for my run,… Continue reading Waffling
Episcopalians Gone Wild
Last night, Marvin and I went to a Mardi Gras party given by a member of the church where I am a secretary. It is the first party we have been to in exactly six months -- the last one we attended was our going-away party in Los Angeles. It was so much fun! Who… Continue reading Episcopalians Gone Wild
A Doggie Miracle
Well, you are not even gonna believe this. I have been feeling like crap, absolute crap, about Meadow. The other night I woke Marvin Gardensalad up at like 3 a.m. I was sobbing. I said, "Can you reach around me and put your hand on my heart? It just hurts so much." So he did,… Continue reading A Doggie Miracle
In which I totally tell you the end of Six Feet Under in the first paragraph
Today was a ridiculous day. First of all, I had a dream that Marvin Gardensalad was having an affair. I know I dreamed this because stupid Nate on Six Feet Under just had an affair and then he fell over dead from a brain hemorrhage, and I am really sorry if you are just catching… Continue reading In which I totally tell you the end of Six Feet Under in the first paragraph
Exciting things that’ve happened today
I am supposed to be proofreading something -- what else is new?-- but so MANY exciting things have happened. Okay, first of all, I have another job interview, this one in Raleigh. The interview is Wednesday. I would be a proofreader/office manager for a graphic design firm. Their website is really cool, and they have… Continue reading Exciting things that’ve happened today
Express & Post & Intelligencer & Times & News & Chronicle
Marvin Gardensalad is famous! They wrote an article in the paper here, which I am not even kidding you when I tell you it's called the Express & Post & Intelligencer. The whole paper is four pages long, and the first page is just them trying to print the paper's name. Anyway, they wrote an… Continue reading Express & Post & Intelligencer & Times & News & Chronicle
Pink, pebbles and I’m a bad wife
I SO was not in the mood to run four miles today. I am still not sleeping very well, as Tallulah gets up with Marvin and she starts click click clicking around the house and it wakes me up. Plus, I did everything wrong yesterday. I forgot to drink lots of water, and I ate… Continue reading Pink, pebbles and I’m a bad wife
Over the hump
Shhh. Don't make any sudden sounds. As of this minute, for the first time ever, all my pets are in one room, sleeping. Ruby and nutty Francis are on the bed, Winston is on the pink chair and Lula is on the floor, doing the "I'm gonna sleep now" sighing thing dogs do. I guess… Continue reading Over the hump
Seven really boring facts about me
Three a.m. designs, which is not how the blog is spelled but I couldn't stand to begin a sentence with a number, has tagged me to write seven random facts about myself. But really, how random can they be? I have to sit here and think 'em up first. 1. Today, just as I came… Continue reading Seven really boring facts about me
The Bell of the Church
Today was the best of times and the worst of times at my church secretary job. First of all, I dropped a hymnal on my foot. Now, if that isn't the most church secretary-y thing to do, I don't know what is. That thing landed on its point right up at the top of my… Continue reading The Bell of the Church
I’m Marvin, and I’m so not an alcoholic. Hi, Marvin.
So, we're gonna try to go to Greensboro tomorrow, right in the middle of me having more proofreading work than one person should ever have. I am back to wishing I were a spider, with eleven sets of eyes or however many they have. I am sure my science friend Lisa will write in with… Continue reading I’m Marvin, and I’m so not an alcoholic. Hi, Marvin.
Near. Far. Wherever you are. I know that I’ll save myself first.
Last night, Marvin Gardensalad and I watched a Titanic movie. Not the movie where Leonardo DiCaprio is heimliching Kate Winslett or measuring her waistline or whatever, but an old, black-and-white version of the Titanic. Pretty much had the same plot. Anyway, in the movie, they kept telling women and children to get on the boat… Continue reading Near. Far. Wherever you are. I know that I’ll save myself first.
People seem to enjoy it when I complain about poor Marvin.
Yesterday, I decided that I needed to get new clothes for my new job. Well, I didn't decide that yesterday. I have known I would need new clothes because (a) you could wear whatever you wanted to my old job in LA, and I do mean anything (I'd really like to go into detail about… Continue reading People seem to enjoy it when I complain about poor Marvin.
