Today I hit “off” instead of “snooze” and then did the thing where you wake up and say, “Why is it so light out,” so I have to kind of hurry. I know this makes Faithful Reader Paula nervous, but it is the truth. Paula, you can read slowly. By the time you see this, …
Of late, I’ve been better about money. I pay all the bills, have cash left over, contribute to my four oh wonk. But man, somehow I screwed up this pay period. Yesterday I had $17 to my name. I got paid today, thank heavens, so I’m flush again. I’m rolling on a floor covered in …
A. I’m dyeing my roots. B. My mouse battery is very low. This means (I’m not gonna say the struggle is real. If you hear me saying the struggle is real, I want you to impale me with 10 mouses) THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL even getting on here, and it took ages, and NOW I …
Turns out, I locked Steely Dan in the attic all night, so I’m feeling pretty good about my cat mothering skills. I went up there for some paperwork, which I FOUND, by the way, and then I took it downstairs (there I go again, calling the attic “upstairs” like a giant nutbar) and pored over …
Yesterday was a day of intense highs and lows. Okay, yesterday I had a high and a low. But everything with me is intense. I’ve already done my stupid taxes with TurboTax, and I owe every year because freelance. What I parTICularly love is paying taxes and having to pay TurboTax on top of that. …
I could NOT fall asleep, so when the alarm went off this morning, I was exhausted and hit snooze 39493940 times. I went last night to the old theater to see Gold Rush, the Charlie Chaplin silent movie–and I guess ALL of his movies were silent movies and now I’m officially annoying. Dear June: We …
Last night, I had a dream that Steely Dan was wandering the hallways at my work, which isn’t out of the realm. It’s only three miles from here. But anyway, when the alarm went off in real life, I opened my eyes to discover him standing on my headboard, peering down at me. I managed …
If you’re just getting back from your Thanksgiving holiday, and I say “holiday” like we’re all British, there are several days of my posts for you to catch up on and I wish you luck. I wish you luck mucking through all my ins and outs. For the rest of you, who kept up with …
Despite paying off almost all my credit card debt (I think this next check from my last huge freelance job will do it!), cash can sometimes be a tad low right before payday. For example. i.e. To wit: Yesterday I had $5 in checking.
I’m trying to think of what happened this weekend, but it’s such a haze, what with the heroin and all. Or, alternatively, 18 bottles of fizzy strawberry water.
Thursday, August 3, 2017 6:30 a.m.: Alarm goes off, hit snooze. 6:39: Alarm goes off, hit snooze. 6:48: ” 6:57: “….. 7:33: OH MY GOD. SERIOUSLY? Scream out of bed, dash to shower. Wash hair. We curly people don’t wash our hair every day. Many of us have a concoction we create in dollar spray …
Do you ever wish everyone would just stop talking to you? I don’t mean blog comments–I can honestly say that there hasn’t been one time I’ve gotten a blog comment and gone, UGH. A COMMENT. Goddammit. Not once. I’m always glad to get those.
I have to be brief today, as opposed to boxers, as I need to take my car in to get the brakes looked at and COME ON, GOD.
I have an exciting fact for you.
I worked till 10:00 last night, on freelance stuff, and my real work was busy yesterday, too, but at one point one of you wrote me. "I left you a tip." "Oh, you did? Wow, thanks!" Eventually, I got over there, to m'tip jar, and you'd left me enough tips that I don't have to …
I'm $54 overdrawn in my account, I get paid in TEN DAYS, and I just called Ned to borrow $100. I KNOW. You guys. I cannot keep living like this. If you wanna call that living. Seriously, though, here's how it happened: I got paid last Wednesday. I paid the mortgage because it was due …
Yesterday's family stories were hilarious. I knew I'd like them. All day I wanted to tell you my friend Dave's family story, one of 3949493944 of them that he has, but I was doing that pesky work thing, and then right after work I had my hair, so hello, home at 8:30. I mean, I …
I haven't wanted to ruin what I'm certain has been a stellar weekend for you, but I've been under the weather. I know. See? I knew your mood would plummet. Turning to your Big Binder of June Events (at this point it pretty much has to be a binder), you'll recall that my throat hurt …
Having a kitten isn't as much fun as they tell you it's gonna be. I'd like to speak to the manager (swings horseshoe hair). Anyway. Why would you even WANT to attack the paper towel roll? At least it wasn't one of my highfalutin Alyssa Milano paper towels, from the Alyssa Milano Collection. I want …
When I woke up yesterday, I did not know I'd be buying a car. But there it is. Now my life is officially a country song: the man I loved done left, m'dog died, and my VW Bug up and quit on me. I just need a train off in the distance and a jail …
