Songs in the key of…where the hell are my keys?

Right before you get to my work is a funeral home. In fact, the buildings surrounding my office are doctor's offices, an old folks' home, and this funeral parlor. Because apparently I'm writing to you on a slate, from my log cabin near my potbelly stove with my sassafras and unicycle. Funeral parlor. Old folks' … Continue reading Songs in the key of…where the hell are my keys?

With her caffeine, her Ritalin, and her pearls. Of wisdom.

That's really my favorite line from a song. WHAT is, June? We aren't actually there in your head. And clearly half the time we don't read your title. https://youtu.be/ymmRnKaTEr8 "With her fog, her amphetamines, and her pearls." Love that line. Also, do you ever do this? If anyone says to me, "I hate Bob Dylan. … Continue reading With her caffeine, her Ritalin, and her pearls. Of wisdom.

It was the 3rd of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day. Volume XVIIIX934X

I'm only writing at you because it's our day. A few years back, when I sat next to my boss, fmr., he and I got into one of our 408-minute discussions about Things That Didn't Matter and gee, I wonder why they split us up. That day, the discussion centered on what did Billy Jo … Continue reading It was the 3rd of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day. Volume XVIIIX934X

June’s milkshake brings all the calves to the yard

"Oooo! I know!" I said to my friend. "Let's drive out to the country to that ice cream place, where you can pet cows and eat ice cream they made right there on the spot!" For me, there's a whole afternoon. There's a black-and-white cat who lives there, and I think it's so cute they … Continue reading June’s milkshake brings all the calves to the yard

It was the 3rd of June another sleepy dusty Delta day

Were you worried I'd forget it was Ode to Billie Joe day? The official holiday of Bye Bye, Pie ever since we all became obsessed with that song?   Did you listen to all the things they eat for lunch? Hello, carbs. Hi hi, another piece of pie. I have to kind of hurry today, … Continue reading It was the 3rd of June another sleepy dusty Delta day

Watch June apply her makeup. You won’t BELIEVE what happens next. Yeah, you will. She puts on clothes and goes to work.

Today, Ima talk to you while I do my makeup. Here I am, looking like one of those women who doesn't shave her parts, whose one iota of makeup is some tinted Burt's Bees balm. Mmmm. Vision. You know, I am in no way a natural beauty. Never have been. Thank god I'm a drag … Continue reading Watch June apply her makeup. You won’t BELIEVE what happens next. Yeah, you will. She puts on clothes and goes to work.

And you can tell everybody this is your song (Or, Blog reader walks into a bar)

Yesterday, I learned there's a new app you can put on your phone which will let you play whatever song you like when you walk into a bar or restaurant that has a juke box. ("I even busted the juke-a-box!" Name that movie.) What would your song be? I said Black Dog or Bizarre Love … Continue reading And you can tell everybody this is your song (Or, Blog reader walks into a bar)