I’ll wait till you can stop slapping your knee over that headline. Let’s see. What the hell did I do this weekend while you were here in my computer in suspended animation? Friday. On Friday afternoon, I got an Amazon delivery at work. “I need a blog,” the mailroom guy always says to me, as …

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I had two plans tonight: coworkers were getting drinks at 5:00, and then other friends invited me over at 8:00-ish. Don’t you hate people who add “ish” to a time? What are we, gay men in the ’60s? That outfit is fab, lover. Anyway, I eschewed my right-after-work plans because I didn’t work today. I …

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Yesterday morning, after I’d gotten up early and stressed own self over adding polls to this here not-blog (good participation, by the way!), I got an email. “Can you knock this out this morning?” I wasn’t even at work yet, and already I was anxious. It’s this big, several-tabbed Excel document that I copy edit …

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It was inevitable, I suppose, that during a pertinent conversation with my friend Hamlet, in which we were extolling Patty and Selma from The Simpsons, that I was struck by HOW MAGNIFICENT it would be to name cats Patty and Selma. It’s these epiphanies that make me say, Well, I could just jaunt off to …

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It’s raining today; at the most, it’s going to be 64 degrees. They also call that “the high.” Am become familiar with language of peeple. Anyway, after Edsel’s a.m. constitutional, and by “constitutional” I mean he peed, he stampeded back inside, as he does. “Edsel, wait,” I said, and he screeched to a halt. That’s …

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Dear June: Tell us about your weekend. We await, riveted. Signed, No one. FRIDAY We had our work picnic Thursday afternoon, which I realize is not Friday, and I just gave this section a “Friday” subhead and WHAT THE HELL with this blog. The point is, I’m this weird combination of an extroverted introvert, where …

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