Today we're all gonna take a personality test and report the results here. I will tell you what you all said tomorrow. Please answer me by 9 p.m. Eastern time today. Google "What time is it in Eastern time?" if you don't know what time Eastern time is. Yesterday I got invited to a concert … Continue reading What stupid, horrific personality do YOU have?
Sadly, I have a deadline to meet before I go to work today (dudes, I KNOW) (can you DIE from proofreading?), so I leave you with a simple question. Who is worse, people who think they're smart but really aren't, or people who think they're funny but really aren't? I realize I fall into both … Continue reading In which I’ve totally become Linda Richman
Once again I gots no time to blog. Today I have to scream over to Der Vagen Haus, or maybe it's Wagen Haus, whichever, to get my car fixed. One good thing about working ALL THE TIME is I can at least afford now to get my car fixed. So I'm off. The car repair … Continue reading Really, Cezanne’s fruit never does it for me
A few days ago, we ("we." I totally stole the idea from a reader) decided to write in our questions for Dick Whitman's mom. In case you are just tuning in, and really? I've been here almost SIX YEARS. I was just about to get in the car and go home. But in case you … Continue reading Ask Dick Whitman’s mom and you shall receive
Let's face it. I am not happy with my coffee situation. I mean, first of all, I have to have half-decaf, which is insulting enough. But then awhile back my coffeemaker broke, so my mother gave me hers, but then THAT broke, and is it really that bad of an idea to throw your coffeemaker … Continue reading A crucial Pieces of Wisdom
Went to the BookUp again last night. May or may not have gone with ...friend. May or may not have stayed out too late. May or may not have LOOMING DEADLINE. This may or may not be my pal Jo at said BookUp. Who needs to stop saying "may or may not" about everything? May … Continue reading Okay, SERIOUSLY no time today
I wonder how many people out there desperately wish I would refer to song lyrics from this decade, just once. I will. When I figure out I like some songs in this decade, next decade. Anyway, don't be fooled by the rocks that we got, we're still bloggers from the block. Yesterday I asked all … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom: You got your mind on your money and your money on your mind.
I have to go, because I have a job interview in a few hours and they want me to bring a copy of my resume even though I sent it to them in the first place and I have NO BLANK PAPER here so now I have to go to Office Depot and I wonder … Continue reading Pieces of Wi$dom. Do you like what I did, there?
We pretty much don't need a lot of dry-erase board use for yesterday's Pieces of Wisdom question, which was how much do you enjoy socializing and how much do you enjoy staying in. This is good, because as you can see, I had trouble finding a marker that would work on my board. I do … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom. Gone with the Febreze.
When did Monster become such a crappy site? It used to be the first place I'd go to look for jobs, and now they list nothing. What happened to it? Does anyone have any good ideas for looking for jobs? I go on Indeed and SimplyHired, those are good. Cragislist here is only a scam. … Continue reading Sadly, every Tuesday is fat Tuesday, over here. Oh, but I brought Pieces O’ Wizzdom back!
Dear Mr. Steve Jobs, Thank you for the cool computer. And phone. And iPod. And stuff. Love, June In other news-- I got a percolator! At least one of you told me to in the comments so I threw caution to the wind. Well. More specifically, I threw 42 dollars to Target. It is in … Continue reading Life has its perks, Steve Jobs is dead and that’s sad, and it’s Snowing at the pound
Guess who cannot wait for her stupid Wen to get here? What hair? Good gravy. My large hair and I have a date tonight. With a whole new boy. I will let you know if (a) I am killed on said date and (3) if I like him remotely. I don't mean if I like … Continue reading Van Gardens
Tallulah ate a corn cob that she found in the road on our walk, and even though I said, "DROP IT!" she did not right away. I mean, you find something good like that, you gotta ignore your mom. The point is, she then spent the night barfing and guess who got bad sleep and … Continue reading Corncob wisdom
I inexplicably bring back Pieces of Wisdom to ask: What the hell happened to my quiet, undramatic life, and how can I get it back?
Sometimes people post interesting things on Facebook. Not often, mind you. Usually what they post is drivel, including the part where they inadvertently let all of us know they don't actually know the word "drivel." "Watching Dancing With the Stars. Soooo good! Not mindless dribble like those other reality shows!" I know you want to … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom: Let’s pretend we’re half-dead!
we gots no secrets. all we do is shed on cowch. that no secret. Yesterday I asked you to reveal your funny family stories and you all came out in droves. Which leads me to wonder if any of your family members would be annoyed at you had they known their humiliation was made public … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom: Your Family Secrets Spilled
My uncle emailed me this weekend to tell me a little story. It seems he and my Aunt Kathy used to live next door to this guy named Dick, who had a bronze car. They were out in a crowded downtown this weekend, and a bronze car went by, and my aunt announced, "Every time … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom: Your Dumb Family
Oh, I love it when we explore our crabby sides. Yesterday I asked all y'all to mention the petty things that bug you, and it is a shame you hardly had any. I was on the phone (let me put my thumb and pinky up so you know I was on the phone) with my … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday: Let me be perfectly clear. And stuff like that.
Marvin came over Monday afternoon to take Tallulah to the vet, just to ensure nothing dreadful was happening on her innards--her tough, no-nonsense Pit Bull innards--after having been slammed into with a Volkswagen Bug and all. She had been walking a little stiffly, and not running at full "yeah" strength, and that line is only … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom: Tom Petty
I watched it happen. It was like slow motion, if slow motion happened really fast. Tallulah was all cuddling up with me this morning, and I was hugging her big neckeldy. Edsel was at the foot of the bed, because he's, you know, beta dog or whatever. I watched him get up and I SAW … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom: What’s to Eat?