June sees a psychic. Finds out the future. So after today you won’t have to read this dumb blog anymore. You’ll know what’s gonna happen.

On Sunday, I went with my coworker Alex to see the psychic, the one from 2011. I don't mean the psychic was born in 2011, which would make her something of a prodigy. I also don't mean she's from the band Prodigy. I mean that I saw her in 2011, came home and blogged about … Continue reading June sees a psychic. Finds out the future. So after today you won’t have to read this dumb blog anymore. You’ll know what’s gonna happen.

I have the feeling Ima be just as annoying in 2015.

It's the end of the year, FYI, and time for my end-of-year veedeo, and you've been around a long time if you know why I say "veedeo." So long, 2014! You weren't all bad. (Click on the white "2014 Be Done" title at the top of the video, so it'll take you to YouTube, where … Continue reading I have the feeling Ima be just as annoying in 2015.

Do you know what’d be hilarious? Is if I said, “Life’s a beach.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

That guy is screwed. This weekend, Ned and I went to Wilmington, which in case you live in Poland or Ethiopia (I am HUGE in Ethiopia) (well, I probably would be huge in Ethiopia) or are just really stupid or something, Wilmington is a town in North Carolina that happens to be right next to … Continue reading Do you know what’d be hilarious? Is if I said, “Life’s a beach.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

June and Sleeping Beauty go to the beach. Except she’s bringing her baby. How much sleep will she really get?

I woke up this morning and before I even opened my eyes, I told myself: YOU GOING TO THE BEACH, BITZ! So here I go. If I can figure out how to send pictures to my blog, I will. If I can't, just picture me lying there getting melanoma. It's supposed to be sunny and … Continue reading June and Sleeping Beauty go to the beach. Except she’s bringing her baby. How much sleep will she really get?

In which June blows off the South to be the bland Midwesterner she’s always been

I'm getting ready to get in the car to leave for Saginaw, and by "getting ready" I mean I'm sitting here blogging. Somebody just pulled into my driveway to turn around, and I don't know about you, but if we were all in the car in high school? And we pulled into someone's driveway to … Continue reading In which June blows off the South to be the bland Midwesterner she’s always been

Love my home-y but where’s my beaches?

You know who I feel sorry for? Is my friend Sandy's husband. Who just wanted a nice week on the Carolina coast, getting away from his demandy-pants job (he took like 87 conference calls while I was there. Do you know where I am rarely needed? Is on a conference call. In fact recently at … Continue reading Love my home-y but where’s my beaches?

I’m back in the South where I belong. Where’s my fatback? Oh. It’s attached.

I have returned, without incident. Except for the part where my smoke alarm went off at 3:17 this morning. It just went off for maybe three horrifying, jarring beeps then stopped. And it was not the "I am running out of batteries" beep. It was the real thing. So after being RIPPED from sleep, I … Continue reading I’m back in the South where I belong. Where’s my fatback? Oh. It’s attached.

In which June wrestles a pickle and accuses her cat of white supremacy

Marvin is getting poor Henry right now; he stayed overnight at the vet. His little cat leg is not broken--he has an abcess. Which means someone bit him (THREE TIMES!) and he got an infection. Now, it could have been one of the cats here when they were playing, but there's also an orange cat … Continue reading In which June wrestles a pickle and accuses her cat of white supremacy

Don’t get Madison, but I don’t Lincoln to anything in this one. Quit Reagan on me!

I'm in D.C. and I'm having a capitol time! Bah! The train ride was kind of fun. I got to sit and watch the world go by. The only part about the train is, why do other people have to exist? The old lady next to me was just fine. I had no issue with … Continue reading Don’t get Madison, but I don’t Lincoln to anything in this one. Quit Reagan on me!